Cmdr Crayfish

I don't "talk too much."

Those are CRUCIAL LORE-DROPS.

Man, you can talk shit about Jonah MST3K as much as you want, but you're fucking wrong.

Edible desiccant packets was the funniest invention exchange ever.

Like, my dudes, if they're failing to put their thumbs on the scale in *Texas* of all places less than 10 months away from midterms, you'll forgive me if I have a hard time cowering in fear of their yet to materialize national-level solution to voters having a say.

The top picture says: kids in the future "in the future everyone will live in the sky" The bottom picture is Brian with the text "if I can save up $30,000 I can move into a shed" There's a picture of a Home Depot shed

I just found out the blinking confused guy gif isn't from a decades-old interview with Cary Elwes.

It's just some guy who looks like Cary Elwes.

I'm so sad now.

The penultimate episode of the 90s X-Men show is so weird. It is so clearly teeing up that Essex is the true main villain of the series... and then it's Graduation Day and the show is definitively over.

That is an episode that only makes narrative sense in light of X-Men 97.

If they like the characters enough, they'll tolerate AWFUL plotting. That's how zombie shows keep chugging along.

Weirdly, you can use TNG for both of these! S3-6 are carried by fun plots. S7 is carried by how much we now love these leads.

The only thing your readers care about is that the plot does interesting things and they like the characters.

If they like the plot enough, they can accept the characters are thin. After all, thinly-written characters are iconic.

This is the first time Scott Adams made me laugh.

Montana Meth Project and modern stuff is scare tactics shit. You can feel how you want about that (I love PSAs as short-form horror content, so I don't care about messaging). But DARE made drugs look FUCKING SICK.

My oldest son loves watching old PSAs with me, and he's so consistently shocked by how comparatively AWESOME 80s media makes drugs look.

Bad people in real life aren't interesting. Bad people in fiction are EXPECTED to be interesting.

That's why "bad people being friends" is one of my favorite tropes. That shit does not happen. Self-interested people cannot feel simple emotions like "good for them!"

I am not an erudite, articulate connoisseur of the arts.

I am a pop guy.

I like big hooks and crowd-pleasing inanity.

This is a problem inasmuch as my WRITING is avant garde weirdo shit.

Kiss From a Rose is a weird song when you have to describe it to your children as a song about Batman.

Maybe my favorite storytelling trope is the cyclical needle drop. The story ends on the same song it began on, with totally new context.

To that end, I'm STILL mad Cars 3 doesn't end on Real Gone. It isn't like they couldn't have called Sheryl Crow in to replace every "he" with "she."

I really thought that meme clip of Jon Hamm was JCVD for a hot minute there.

GLP-1 thoughts:

Having a neck again is weird.

How do people deal with it.

"Why are Romantasy and Gothic Romance Horror surging in sales?"

Gee, maybe because like all escapist speculative fiction, people need to get out of their own lives? Sci-fi and sci-fan are pressure release valves for social and societal anxieties, AND SO IS ROMANCE.

"Do you ever wish James Taylor had a fandom like Jimmy Buffett?"
"What would you call Margaritaville? Her Town?"

Thank you for finding the words I couldn't about what was so appalling about that posture!

No, what I'm going to make fun of is THAT'S the flex. "First girlfriend."

He's so chronically online that he's aware that's a flex, but he's also so chronically online that he - someone obsessed with his own optics on a molecular level - isn't aware that's a horrifying self-burn to most people.

I keep thinking of Kash Patel bragging about how this job got him his first girlfriend.

He's in his 40s. And I'm not going to argue whether or not she is gold digging - that's reductive and inherently kinda sexist. Status IS attractive to many people.

*Bruce Wayne cries in his father's study*
"Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot. I must become a symbol of their greatest fears. I must become-"
* clown breaks through window *

If someone mashed up Smooth and Uptown Funk nothing else would ever play at wedding receptions again.

Funny animal videos no longer being trustworthy just fucking sucks all around. I love the wonder of animal behavior and what it says about the experience of being alive. It's because it happened in reality that it's so fun. It's not fun if it was just made up. There's no wonder there.

Anybody remember how the Leave it to Beaver sequel series was treated like a fucking joke for YEARS?

And now that's just expected? Legacy sequels to sitcoms that ended DECADES earlier? Sitcoms (that most disposable of art forms) treated like IP?

Time was, you got a reboot movie with cameos. Maybe.

I mean, I follow this up with the thought that Brak and Zorak DEFINITELY still keep in regular touch with Moltar. They're all too trauma bonded.

I also suspect Linda encourages him to have outside interests. The boys are a fun weekly dollup of chaos.