Matt Campbell

ME: pack a bag, we’re flying to kansas

MY WAYWARD SON: what kind of bag

Hey everyone just a reminder you should take a CPR class and know how to use an AED.

Now the US Treasury is giving India a 30-day pause on sanctions to buy millions of barrels of Russian oil. Every day this war goes on is literally strengthening the Russian economy while simultaneously depleting missile defenses available for Ukraine in the upcoming Russian summer offensive.

Every day this imbecile says or does something that would have been an administration-defining scandal for any other President.

I do know completely healthy normal poly people but unfortunately part of being healthy is that they don’t do press about their relationship

this got a full, out loud, "bro WHAT" from me, ngl

Republicans just OBJECTED to funding FEMA, TSA and the Coast Guard. They’re holding them hostage to extract more $$$ with no accountability for Trump’s rogue ICE/CBP operations.

No doubt now who’s responsible.

Tool is jam band music for people who hate jam bands

My view on Spurs is that I want them to get relegated from the Premier League but also win the Champions League.

Spurs get relegated while winning the UCL challenge: still on track

Proton Mail Helped FBI Unmask Anonymous ‘Stop Cop City’ Protestor A court record reviewed by 404 Media shows privacy-focused email provider Proton Mail handed over payment data related to a Stop Cop City email account to the Swiss government, which handed it to the ...

New from 404 Media: Proton Mail, the privacy-focused email service, gave authorities data that let the FBI unmask an anonymous 'Stop Cop City' protester. It was payment data linked to the anonymous email account. From that, FBI ID'd them, then tracked their movements www.404media.co/proton-mail-...

Seems relevant to the upcoming war powers vote in the House.

Sen. Markwayne Mullin has died of taking a standardized third grade reading level test. He is expected to be replaced at the Department of Homeland Security by two stray dogs humping.

The cackle I just let out in my office

NOEM TAKING QUESTIONS - DOES NOT APPEAR TO KNOW SHE WAS FIRED

we haven't had enough of these days in Trump 2.
these days when some cartoonishly evil admin character gets fired (not for being evil, but over their 374th petty scandal) and we get off jokes in the too-small window before their replacement establishes how they'll be evil in a slightly different way

Night Mayor is an amazing title, tho

They said it couldn’t be done, but he proved them wrong

Our goal is not to make a more racially diverse billionaire class and a racially diverse working poor, it's to end the conditions that allow these classes in the first place!

Cosa Nostrational Guard

We also know we can block your narrow-minded ass

me to the sandwich i make for lunch every morning

If there was video of a Senate Dem giving a compound fracture to a Marine while wearing his dress blues, that guy would've been burned at the stake by close of business

“There are no merits” is amazing.

I hope it lightly rains at Lou Holtz’s funeral, so the mourners can look up to the sky and remember how it felt when you talked up close with Lou Holtz.

As expected the far right is not actually against war if they’re allowed to brutalize brown people at home.

Aaron Spencer, dad who killed daughter’s alleged molester, wins Republican primary for Lonoke County Sheriff - Arkansas Times The race was not particularly close, with Spencer getting nearly 54 percent of the more than 10,000 votes cast.

Aaron Spencer, dad who killed daughter’s alleged molester, wins three-way Republican primary for Lonoke County Sheriff; avoids runoff with 54% of the vote.