Canadian Lit Chick

a man is kneeling down with a dog and says i 'd pick up your poop you 're worth it ALT: a man is kneeling down with a dog and says i 'd pick up your poop you 're worth it

#ASongOrMovieForRightThingsToDo
The Pick Up Your Dog's Poop Artist

pretty sure this war will end soon i can feel it in my bones nope that’s the osteoporosis nvm

NERD: (knows math) pi r squared

ME: (knows pies) pie r round

Gum is my favorite thing that freshens your breath for 5 minutes then tastes like shoes

me: beware the thighs of march
them: actually, it’s ides of march
me: not when you’ve done this much yoga

when you’re trying to sneak out and grab the amazon package first thing in the morning but your neighbor spots you

macadamia nut lovers explaining why they 're better than pecans with a man smoking a cigarette ALT: macadamia nut lovers explaining why they 're better than pecans with a man smoking a cigarette

#EdibleNutsInASongOrMovie
My Hero Macadamia

a man in a black sweater and shorts is dancing on the side of the road . ALT: a man in a black sweater and shorts is dancing on the side of the road .

#ASongOrMovieForExpression
You Can Interpretive Dance if You Want To

This meeting could’ve been a sticky-note.

joke's on you. i can still post in a straitjacket

“Look, the Ayatollah borrowed my leaf blower a few years back and never returned it.”

-djt offering new rationale for Iran war

a blue smiley face with a serious look on it 's face ALT: a blue smiley face with a serious look on it 's face

#ASongOrMovieForExpression
I Second that Emoticon

You too Matt 👍

a woman in a library with a tote bag that says ' nlg ' on it ALT: a woman in a library with a tote bag that says ' nlg ' on it

#CrowdFundMeSoThatICan
buy more books.

💙💙💙💙

a woman is making a face and asking where 's the toilet . ALT: a woman is making a face and asking where 's the toilet .

#ASongOrMovieForQuestionsToAsk
Dude, Where's Your Bathroom?

💙💙💙💙

💙💙💙

Ariel's first mistake was wanting to be where the people are

I hereby give science permission to extract DNA from my fossilized remains caught in maple syrup for a future Jurassic Park-type scenario

a cartoon leprechaun with a pipe in his mouth and a green hat . ALT: a cartoon leprechaun with a pipe in his mouth and a green hat .

#SinisterLeprechaunTricks
smoking your gold pot.

a metal fence with a sign on it that says ' closed ' on it ALT: a metal fence with a sign on it that says ' closed ' on it

#ASongOrMovieForWhatFeetDo
Silly Walk This Way

You can't run through a campsite.

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

Lent is Fast Approaching

a black cat is sitting on a fence looking at the night sky ALT: a black cat is sitting on a fence looking at the night sky

#ASongOrMovieForSuperstition
Smells Like 13 Spirit

This storm will pass.
Hints of a verdant spring to come.

#IceStorm #Canada #LateNight #MapleBuds #Beauty

a woman wearing a blue shirt with the word do on it is working in a garden ALT: a woman wearing a blue shirt with the word do on it is working in a garden

#ASongOrMovieForWhatsGardening
You Can Hoe Your Own Way

wait a second everyone lives happily ever after what kind of sick socialist fairy tale is this

anteaters should eat a more balanced diet

There’s nothing like coming home from a long, hard day at work, and finding your mother-in-law’s vehicle parked outside.