Jeremy the Probably Depressed

“Donald Trump to issue executive order declaring Cinco de Mayo to be renamed ‘Fifth of America.’

Whitehouse press secretary Karmelkorn Leavening had this to say: ‘I mean, who likes mayonnaise anyway, and why should it get its own holiday when Ketchup is obviously superior?’”

I’m pretty sure Green Day wrote at least one song about the types of Americans who have to be reminded that Green Day is political…

I feel like someone might have fed the Republican party after midnight… despite the clearly communicated warnings about feeding the Republican party after midnight.

… On the other hand, Cabot Creamery just recalled 1700 pounds of butter because it might have poop in it.

I’ll pay extra for poop-free butter.

I wonder why other countries don’t want to buy our sh… stuff?

2/2

Tariffs, the argument goes, would raise the costs of imported products, encouraging consumers to purchase cheaper domestic products instead.

Products like, oh… I dunno, butter?

With Irish butter estimated to cost as much as $11/pound after tariffs, the argument seems reasonable.

1/2

This morning’s depressing example of life in Trump’s America…

mailchi.mp/latinocommun...

…And the same dim witted Republicans who stood around and let him nuke the stock market would probably stand around and advise us to “trust his instincts, he has a vision” as he nukes hurricanes, and possibly Ontario.

2/2

I just think it might be a good time to point out that the same Demented Dumbass who nuked the stock market?

He also has actual nukes.

1/2

Top Trump Official So Freaked Out by Tariffs, He Wants to Quit And so the revolving door of Donald Trump’s Cabinet members begins.

“Trump’s tariff policy represents a sort of defeat for Bessent ... Should he flee the administration now, he would likely forfeit what little credibility remains.”

You can work for Trump, or you can maintain integrity and credibility. But you cannot do both.

newrepublic.com/post/193634/...

“I didn’t think he would really do the thing, because that would be disastrous … I was wrong. He actually did the thing!”

Maybe electing someone because you believe they won’t actually do what they said they were probably gonna do means you’re an incurable idiot, maybe?

a roller coaster with smoke coming out of it and yahoo in the corner ALT: a roller coaster with smoke coming out of it and yahoo in the corner

I wonder what the stock market will look like on open tomorrow… I mean, I have an idea… but still.

Crawford wins, and bigly.

As a referendum on Donaldelon TrumpenMusk, that’s a pretty sweet result. I’m very happy they appear to have lost that proxy war.

How much did they spend again?

I wonder how $tsla will do tomorrow.

We used to have reporters and journalists that would actually work at, and dig up stories needed to know about, and media brave enough to run them. Now, they just go with increasingly verbose and click-baity ways to regurgitate the sound bites they’re fed by the Washington PR apparatchiks.

6/6

but this story literally jumped out of a gift-wrapped box marked “Extremely Newsworthy Scandal Inside” and gave him a lap dance while throwing glitter into the air and screaming “Great Big Newsworthy Scandals Are Here” through a bullhorn.

5/6

They appear to be breaking the law. That is a big story, and that’s what -real- journalists would dig into.

I mean, I think it’s great that Goldberg wrote the article. Don’t get me wrong…

4/6

Because it should be pointed out that a big part of the story here is the use of Signal, and the intent behind it. This administration is intentionally circumventing record retention and FOIA regulations. I’m sure this isn’t the first time they’ve done so, not by a long shot.

3/6

Do corrupt politicians and cabinet members have to literally invite a reporter or editor-in-chief to a chat room labeled “Room Where We Discuss Committing Some Crimes” before journalists and reporters will actually dig into and report on something?

2/6

Re “Signalgate” / “Whiskey Leaks”

Maybe it’s unfair, but the thing that I can’t stop thinking about… the thing that just won’t get out of my brain is this: Is this really what it takes to get any semblance of investigative journalism done by our media anymore?

1/6

Trump doesn’t like his portrait for some reason…

The Trump Administration Accidentally Texted Me Its War Plans U.S. national-security leaders included me in a group chat about upcoming military strikes in Yemen. I didn’t think it could be real. Then the bombs started falling.

Holy. Shit.

That’s all I got. Just… Holy. Shit.

Melon Husk insinuates that the anti-tesla efforts were the product of a well-funded conspiracy of hateful forces aligned against him without cause.

I would like to assure him that my hatred of all things Musk is being provided entirely pro bono.

“*not* an endorsement” - It was as good as.

You know, you accused others in your party of bringing a casserole to a knife fight. You brought a white flag fashioned out of your own soiled briefs.

Wimp.

“I’ve decided that I don’t mind if history portrays me as a collaborator. The alternative would be a lot more work, so…”

I’m part of that large group of folks engaged in the criminal enterprise of not buying a Tesla. It’s a NoSwasticartel…

If your representative was one of the Democrats that voted with the Republicans to censure Al Green, and you aren’t calling them to register your disapproval, then welcome to being part of the problem…

If dem reps randomly shouted “bingo!” during the speech, that might make it actually worth watching.

What if all of the Democrats were issued ‘Trump-Babble Bingo’ cards, and then just kept hollering ‘Bingo!’ during his address as they filled their cards?

I think that would be pretty cool…

Costco is a solid choice, I think. It’s not perfect. We renewed memberships when their DEI stance was made clear. I haven’t bought anything from amazon since December, canceled prime, etc. It’s not perfect. But it’s mine.

Fine. Stay in your bucket with the rest of the puritan crabs. The rest of us have shit to do. Even if it ain’t perfect.

3/3