I’m gonna make a prediction
Hey babe I just sent you an Onion article
Lol
Singing my favorite Radiohead songs but replacing the lyrics with e.g. “My wi-ife is an Israeli, I love Israel” as a biting critique
The weather is null outside
Easy instructions to follow. I have almost a million other codes
Bric-à-brac bros in shambles
Once I was biking and didn’t realize another cyclist had snuck up behind me to draft and I blew a snot rocket on him.
Don’t read this as a complaint about some avoidant person in my life. I really am avoidant #facts
Being avoidant rules. I never have to have difficult conversations. And if that bothers you, you’re abusing me! I’m just avoidant #facts
My trad buddy has scrofula
Is there a heteronculus?
Are there other types of monculus besides homo?
I was weighing my options (big decision u know) and a guy with scabs all over his face asked if he could cut me in line bc he knew what he wanted. I said sure then he couldn’t decide what he wanted and got really stressed out and left. Some teens got kratom. A lady bought “nootropic peanut butter”
My bong broke the other day so I went and got a replacement. The clientele at the head shop is approx one million times more tweaky than at dispensaries. Haven’t seen people like that in ages. I forgot they exist
“By the same token” why would you reuse a token? Broke ass
(Standing up to leave the bar): Well, better quit while I’m a- (points to my head) head
Congrats on the beautiful home hope closing goes smoothly!
Heard somewhere they are highly social and have different individual roles within the school 😍😢
Apple music liner notes describe this as “dizzying Teutonic trance”
Glad to help.
100%
This could be a real opportunity for me
Of course 🤠🦈 would chime in on delightful emojis
After all these years, I remain delighted by emojis
I’m backstabbing your ass
Well, my worst nightmare has come true: I’m a kid again and there’s a dinosaur chasing me through my old elementary school
My buddy Johnny-Come-Lately has been coming a lot lately
Ran out of powdered gatorade
