Marc Blake (he/him) ((aka “M. David Blake”; see also: obscure))

MTG is leaving Congress in January… and the extent of my sympathy is to remind her about the screen door, because it’s on a strong enough spring to give a solid whack upon exiting.

The Coast Guard now says, rather than being hate symbols, swastikas are merely “potentially divisive.”

I’m on the “fuck the Coast Guard” side of that divide.

It is signed. The fact that it was signed by someone convicted of sexual assault, himself heavily implicated in those same files notwithstanding, it is signed.

“If Democrats win, Trump will be impeached!” has got to be the most on-point “Get me the fuck to the polls!” messaging I’ve ever heard.

It wouldn’t surprise me to learn he’s said “Quiet, Piggy!” to other people, in even more disturbing circumstances.

If you had catsup on your shopping list, I hope you bought some before the six o’clock news! Anticipating a shortage.

So… by voting against their release, Clay Higgins (R-LA) has pretty much volunteered to be one of the first names searched, at whatever point the Epstein Files become available.

Given what’s certainly coming, and as a preemptive defense: I swear to God, I’m a writer!

Or something like that.

Any bets on how long J.D. Vance can hold his breath? Because I kinda suspect he’s doing so, while waiting for the Oval Office desk chair to re-plump itself.

The necrotic toddler claims that the Epstein Files are a hoax, AND that any Democrats named in them should be investigated by the Justice Department.

This is roughly on par with claiming the food is horrible, and the portions are too small.

“The long national nightmare is almost coming to an end now, the beginning of the end.” — from Mike Johnson’s remarks on CNN, 10 November 2025, which were *purportedly* just about the shutdown

“My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over. Our Constitution works; our great Republic is a government of laws and not of men.“ — from Gerald Ford's Inaugural Remarks, 9 August 1974, following Richard Nixon’s disgrace and resignation due to Watergate

THAT WAS AN EDITORIAL COMMENT!

(Or something like that.)

On a scale of that goes from a baseline of “no death,” we die “all the death.” (At least inside… so far.)

And it’s literally because that has to happen before the House can do anything else. (And it has to happen regardless of how the *VOTES* go on anything else.)

Kinda wild that the same folks who dismissed my suggestion this deal would force the House to get Adelita Grijalva sworn in are suddenly celebrating the fact that *checks notes* Adelita Grijalva is about to be sworn in.

One thing worth remembering is that *IF* any bill passes the Senate that differs *AT ALL* from what the House sent them, it effectively forces the House back into session (unless they choose to ignore it) and gets Adelita Grijalva sworn in.

There are two ways to look at what’s going on with Senate Democrats. One is that they might cave. The other is that they might force the House back into session and get Adelita Grijalva sworn in.

Can’t lie: The fact that Zohran Mamdani will be the new mayor of NYC might be the only thing that could get me to voluntarily visit NYC. Like, ever.

Vintage photo of a man holding a newspaper aloft, which displays the banner headline “WE WIN!” The image was popularized in the opening credits of CHEERS (1982–1993).

My default assumption is that anyone the Golden Grifter endorses might also be in the Epstein Files.

Q: What’s keeping Vance from invoking the 25th? A: He’s holding out for an office chair with plumper cushions.

If you give a pig a crown, he’s going to want to wear it.

S&M's

Citrine Caligula is so desperate to distract you from what’s in the Epstein Files that he is *literally* going nuclear. As in, holy fuck, he’s demanding weapons tests.

Winona Rider as Veronica Sawyer, disheveled and smoking a cigarette, near the end of HEATHERS (1989).

Alison: “It’s kind of ironic that a historian would have pop-star levels of followers. We need a term for @hcrichardson.bsky.social fans. Like, Taylor Swift fans are Swifties. H-C-R-ights?”

Me: “Heathers.”

Alison: *gasp* “Yes! Heathers!”

Then she pulled up the photo.

(Note: I would NEVER attempt to write a sports story, because even with tangential awareness, I know I’m clueless. Just trying to understand possible math.)

As a non-sports person with tangential awareness of basketball scoring, isn’t there a three-point shot? As in, would it be possible for a team to get three of the three point shots (nine points), and the rest in however-the-heck basketball is scored for the other twenty?

Dear GOP: If Obama had done any of this shit, you’d have been screaming about it in ways that would legally have obligated the Secret Service to investigate you.

To put tearing down part of the White House for a vanity project into context: imagine you booked a room in Mar-a-Lago, and then bulldozed it to make space for your bowling trophies.