Joe Wells

Picture of Marjane Satrapi alongside a quote from her. The quote reads: The world is not divided into countries. The world is not divided between East and West. You are American, I am Iranian, we don't know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same... - Marjane Satrapi, Iranian-French graphic novelist

Thinking about this quote from Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi again.

Tonbridge, The Market House Saturday 7 March | 2pm | £12 (£10) tickets ticketsource.co.uk/tnartsfestivals | themarket.house

Tonbridge! Families of Kent! Join us at #TonbridgeComedyFestival on Saturday 7th March for comedy & clowning excellence with Dov Citron (MC), @joewellscomic.bsky.social and Luke Rollason! TREATS!

🎟️ www.ticketsource.co.uk/tnartsfestiv...

Check us out!

Now seems like a good day to post this joke to Bluesky.

The best joke I've ever had to miss the punchline of was one uninspiring election (I forget which year) when I decided to spoil my voting slip by writing "people who count ballots are cunts" across it.

Hi parents, I wrote the latest episode of The Woohoos on Channel 5 watch it on catchup and learn how glow worms find eachother in the dark (spoiler - their bums light up)

Still time to sign up for this evening! Go go go 😍

Who am I to criticise a multi-millionaire but if I were writing a character who belongs to a minority group I'd feel like I should do some research into how that group might want to be represented.

...people and, by and large, they DO want diagnosis to understand who they are, why they struggle with things, their rights etc. Gervais will say its just one character saying his opinion but it's disingenuous to pretend that this scene isn't meant to be a piece of social commentary.

There's a scene in Derek where someone asks him if he wants a diagnosis and Derek's like "will it change who I am? No? Then why bother" and I've often seen it shared online as something really profound and insightful. I spent 5 years doing a job where I ran focus groups with learning disabled...

A phone note that says "pin code 9561"

Similarly on my phone, what the hell does this mean?

Reminds me of how I've been banned from Live at The Apollo.

Here's a very brief preview in which I talk about why I don't trust my GP

Thanks for coming out!

This one hurt

My friend who's a tax accountant reckons its like HS2 the gov know its a terrible idea but cant backout now because the optics of doing so after putting so much into it will be bad

Firstly, thank you very much. It's actually a cycle helmet I believe but maybe the cover could be used as a sort of rorschach test?

“A fantastic introduction to what it’s like to be neurodivergent: funny; interesting; and free from the preconceptions and cliche that have built up around the subject.” - Frankie Boyle

‘Charming, moving, funny stories from the lives of two talented neurodivergent artists. Highly relatable if you’re neuro-atypical. Eye opening & empathy building for everyone else.’ Deborah Frances-White

oh and here are some nice things people have said about it..

'I loved this book! It's very funny, disarmingly honest, and full of heart. Enjoy both insight and validation via the brilliantly wired minds of two top comedians.' - Shappi Khorsandi

Parents! This'll be fun.

They have their own charts but there should be an audiobook too. Will look into Xig Xag and try to get us on there too!

Book cover has a tortoise packing socks in a suitcase which also contains a penguin, ballet shoes, sun cream, headphones, olives, oven gloves and mozzarella sticks. The book is called "Neurodivergent Moments: sex, sunscreen, turtles and how (not) to pack a suitcase" by Joe Wells and Abogoliah Schamaun.

We've got a book coming out and I'm super proud of it! It's a bunch of funny autobiographical stories with a neurodivergent theme but it's not in any way inspiring or informative. Pre-orders really help to get it in the charts and to let bookshops know its popular. Link is in my bio.

The Arc, Winchester Saturday 7 Feb | 2pm | FREE (reserve online) 01962 398 046 | arcwinchester.org.uk

#Winchester! We're part of #COWFEST at The Arc on Saturday 7th February, with @alexanderybennett.bsky.social, Harvey Juggling and @joewellscomic.bsky.social! Yer classic mix of stand-up, storytelling, and wriggling through an unstrung tennis racket!

🎟️ www.arcwinchester.org.uk/event/cowfes...

Parents! Recreate the end of The Truman Show by letting your baby see the monitor screen.

I think this is funnier than any joke anyone has ever written on purpose; the politeness of "would you mind" like its asking for a favour followed by the completely unnecessary, vulgarity and misogyny of "fucking a slag" then the added twist that she's "from southampton"

I was reminded today of a spam popup I saw decades ago, the phrasing of which makes me laugh out loud every time I remember it.
It said "would you mind fucking a slag from Southampton?"

Phone goes off leading to humbling experience.

Me, trying to flirt with a famous pop star: "So, is there a Lord Gaga?"