Jill Twiss jilltwiss - Bluesky Statics

i have become the de facto owner of my local coffee shop by spitting in every cup of coffee

02.03.2026 03:19 — 👍 204 🔁 22 💬 3 📌 0

I like it when Peeps does crossover episodes

01.03.2026 20:20 — 👍 32 🔁 2 💬 5 📌 0

ok phew. look forward to hearing your plan!

01.03.2026 17:36 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

You will find that we at HIGNFY are also proponents of the library

01.03.2026 17:35 — 👍 26 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0

if it is my job, someone needs to tell me pretty quick

01.03.2026 17:29 — 👍 49 🔁 3 💬 4 📌 0

LET HIM BE ADOPTED WITH HIS GOOD FRIEND, CHICKEN

01.03.2026 02:07 — 👍 130 🔁 16 💬 5 📌 0

yeah, i've managed to do it twice but the last two times have failed. so i'm guessing it might not be for me

28.02.2026 21:23 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I WAS TOLD YES BY MEDICINE

28.02.2026 21:23 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

BOOOOOOO! May we have the veins we deserve!

28.02.2026 21:15 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

A mid sized potato in a mid sized hand

Also I sat on a potato

28.02.2026 21:05 — 👍 22 🔁 0 💬 5 📌 0

oh my gosh!! the people today said they were not allowed to tell me not to donate platelets again but i knew

28.02.2026 20:53 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

she hates me. she hates the catnip banana. she hates everything.

28.02.2026 20:52 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

it feels so bad to be terrible at doing something good!

28.02.2026 20:52 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

A text message thread reading: I failed at giving platelets again and I hate everyone Moujan Jilll nooooo whyyy Because they stuck in the needle and the machine was like NOT GOOD ENOUGH and so they moved the needle around in my arm And the machine was like FUCK OFF NO and they moved it some more And the machine was like OK BUT WE ARE NOT GIVING ANY BLOOD BACK TO HER and they gave up and said they are not allowed to tell me not to donate platelets again. But they said it with their eyes

I am ashamed of my veins.

28.02.2026 20:47 — 👍 30 🔁 1 💬 6 📌 0

WELL I HAVE FAILED AGAIN WORLD

28.02.2026 18:54 — 👍 24 🔁 0 💬 5 📌 0

If I don’t I will get my OWN fancy cookies

28.02.2026 18:13 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

IMO my veins are fantastic but they disagree

28.02.2026 17:25 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Crossing my fingers!

28.02.2026 17:25 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

This is good advice. Sometimes they give me a blanket

28.02.2026 17:24 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Going to give platelets today because, I dunno, it’s how I feel like I’m doing something among the horrors. (Last time they could NOT find a vein so root for me!)

28.02.2026 14:43 — 👍 75 🔁 0 💬 9 📌 0

"Why are swans so fuckable?" - the Financial Times

27.02.2026 23:12 — 👍 47 🔁 3 💬 5 📌 0

this is incredible

27.02.2026 16:21 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

TJ Maxx is like a thrift store with new clothes

26.02.2026 22:03 — 👍 43 🔁 4 💬 2 📌 0

Today it's snowballs. Tomorrow it's a nuclear warhead and somehow Tokyo is gone. Think about that before you get your kid a sled.

26.02.2026 04:13 — 👍 47 🔁 6 💬 3 📌 0

Extremely excited to be a part of this show!!!

24.02.2026 22:04 — 👍 21 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0

Weird that Heated Rivalry and the Men's US Hockey Team kind of canceled each other out

25.02.2026 04:33 — 👍 87 🔁 10 💬 2 📌 0

made me laugh out loud

25.02.2026 04:04 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

MINE TOO

25.02.2026 03:50 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

If your job requires you to watch the SOTU, you should get hazard pay

25.02.2026 02:04 — 👍 165 🔁 18 💬 6 📌 0

definitely pickup

25.02.2026 01:46 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Posts by Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss.bsky.social)