Jill Twiss

Jill Twiss

@jilltwiss.bsky.social

Comedy writer. "Have I Got News For You", "Last Week Tonight", "The Amber Ruffin Show." Author of "A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo" and "The Someone New." Friend to several penguins.

24,139 Followers 845 Following 3,491 Posts Joined Apr 2023
1 hour ago

i'm sorry, are they saying they couldn't get real Andy Cohen? Because...the man is around

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17 hours ago

"As a thought experiment, what if this regime trained bees to read our emails, and umbrellas were nuclear weapons, and hats would wear US"

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17 hours ago

THIS IS WHY YOU'VE ALL NOTICED PEOPLE DANCING AT THE GAS PUMP AS THE PRICES STAY EXACTLY THE SAME

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1 day ago

"K-Pop Demon Gatherers"

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3 days ago

COULD YOU MAKE GOOD WRITING BY STEALING GOOD WRITING AND JUST SAYING YOU WROTE IT? GOOD. LET'S SPEND $4 BILLION ON THIS AS AN INDUSTRY.

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4 days ago
Red headed woman in a (zipped!) dress with a sparkly necklace

Did not win but remained zipped in

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5 days ago

i do need this! also the world needs to invent formal dresses THAT ACTUALLY ZIP OVER THE DAMN SEAM

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5 days ago

update: i put lotion on my hands and now the zipper is out of the question. Getting a doorman involved.

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5 days ago

When I set up my Apple wallet a long time ago I misspelled my name as Samandra and I thought it was so funny until today when I went to get a package and they said “you are not Samandra.” I know. Nobody is. That sounds like a reptile with long eyelashes.

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5 days ago

i think you only have to be CHRONICALLY online to get it

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5 days ago

honestly it was nice of him to get everyone excited about opera AND ping pong again

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5 days ago

will ask Claude

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5 days ago

This is perfect!

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5 days ago

honored

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5 days ago

level of single: just about posted a note on my local Buy Nothing group for someone to help zip up my dress

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5 days ago

i do feel like it could be twenty-THREE hour breaking news coverage, but nonetheless you can watch us on the CNN app or on HBO Max tomorrow!

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6 days ago

i'm all nonsense

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1 week ago

Firing Kristi Noem is not enough. They should also make the next DHS Secretary a dog.

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1 week ago

i do think it is only fair that they all look terrible. that is the kind of tv i want to watch

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1 week ago

Listen it's not the MOST important thing happening, but I do think we should talk about how people are wearing fake eyelashes on Survivor

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1 week ago

hahahahah i will never know

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1 week ago

I left town!

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1 week ago

Wait why do Montana politicians keep doing this? Is it something in the water?

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1 week ago

If you go after Dunkin Iced coffee I think you may see a worse reaction than if you go to war

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1 week ago

ok i'm convince that every guest sneaks something new and gold in there, like when you bring your own candy at a movie theatre.

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1 week ago

i have become the de facto owner of my local coffee shop by spitting in every cup of coffee

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1 week ago

I like it when Peeps does crossover episodes

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1 week ago

ok phew. look forward to hearing your plan!

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1 week ago

You will find that we at HIGNFY are also proponents of the library

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1 week ago

if it is my job, someone needs to tell me pretty quick

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