Jill Twiss

those first two "to you"s in the happy birthday song really ratchet up the tension as to whether or not your loved ones know your name

As a white woman who would also be terrible at running a newsroom, I'm starting to be disappointed that I wasn't chosen

this was the reason i yelled FUCK OFF by myself in my apartment this morning!

this is starting to just feel like a ploy to get ICE agents free Super Bowl tickets

The best feeling in a world is hearing about a trend and just going "Nope! I'll be skipping that one." I skipped all of NFTs! Now they're gone and I never had to learn what they were.

OMG LET'S GET ONE FOR EVERY MONTH

You should be able to Trick or Treat for little snacks every day in October

Hooray!!

Well I did in fact help write this show AND EVERYONE ON IT IS A DELIGHT SO PLEASE WATCH

During was not great but I’m enjoying the after

MAYBE TODAY IS THE DAY

thank you for being honest with me

BEFORE IS SO BAD. I AM IN BEFORE AND I HATE IT

ok yes i acknowledge that if i go to the gym today i will feel better after, but what -- I ask you WHAT -- about during?

Lord Turnips, Earl of Ruffenbarker

i understand the reporter's point, but it really is amazing how hard our government works to make sure we don't give people healthcare

TOO LATE

Delicious. No pavement

i regret that apostrophe

mom's can handle more than we think!

i will go back for followup questions

I don't understand! you shouldn't describe things you're drinking as things you absolutely don't want to put in your mouth

Just went to a wine bar where the waitress described the white wine as "having notes of pavement". I called her back because no one believed me when I told them she said pavement BUT I WAS RIGHT

i know! but the new job got me!

yes!!

"It's so easy to offer up sacrifices from other groups while not offering any from your own" is a perfect distillation

Eric Adams Abandons Re-election Bid for Mayor of New York City

I mean we already know he can be bribed. The question was just how much it would take www.nytimes.com/2025/09/28/n...

i know it's a typo but FEE SPEECH WARRIOR is...exactly what they are?

i think you pull it off!!

would love to pull off Parasol Girl