James Levine

Some tremendous revisionist history from @parademag.bsky.social. Who can forget that amazing Bills Super Bowl 4-peat?

Reminder: If someone tries to sell you a membership that “will generate lots of business,” but they can’t give you any documentation of their program until you pay, THAT’S A SCAM.

Levine’s First Law of Youth Baseball: The ball will always find your weakest fielder.

Videos of baby elephants accidentally stepping on their trunks are guaranteed to make you smile.

When the ump at a youth baseball game is hanging out with the other team’s players because he’s friends with their older siblings, you’re definitely about to get hometowned.

My childhood best friend’s mother passed away this morning. I have other friends who’ve lost parents over the past few years but this one hits different. Probably because I knew her all my life. Even though we weren’t close it feels more like when I lost my own mother. Bummed.

My kids have discovered mocktails. Send mortgage recommendations, please!

Me (explaining loans): And the less money you owe, the less interest you pay.

10 y/o: You know who else has less interest? [walks away]

The wheels come off much faster than they go on.

IYKYK

If you know a judge has a preferred font, why wouldn’t you use it every time you file something?

Our discovery attorney in one of my cases is also named James. I’ve lost track of the number of times I was utterly confused by an email before realizing it was meant for Discovery James.

Chik-fil-A commercials should be illegal on Sundays.

Me: Where’s Twelve?
Ellen: Outside. Avoiding responsibilities.
Me: Sounds like a plan. [leaves]

My kids’ decision-making process for bringing vs. buying lunch is “Which days are most inconvenient for dad to make lunches? Let’s bring those days.”

If you ever wondered “What would Batman drive if he had kids?,” I’ve found your answer.

Sometimes I really miss having a job where I could just leave the work behind when I walk out at the end of the day.

The majestic aftermath of an ice storm shatters when you remember your car is just a bigger version of those branches.

Right back at you, brother. Glad we connected!

What if you pronounce it “F Elon”?

If filings can be rejected because they don’t comply with “best practices,” shouldn’t the “best practices” really just be called “rules”?

Controlling your face in court is a skill that law schools cannot teach.

United leaning hard into “new math”

I could tell she immediately regretted asking the question.

Tonight at dinner Twelve asked whether she gets our money when we die, so she got an impromptu lesson in how trusts work. Which ensured no follow up questions.

Calling a judge stupid and biased isn’t exactly a page out of Dale Carnegie. www.law360.com/articles/229...

<bookmarks for absolutely no reason>

Full opinion: assets.law360news.com/2292000/2292...

Judge Gilstrap (E.D. Tex) orders lawyer to take ethics classes as a Rule 11 sanction but didn’t award fees. I understand his rationale but where a party incurred substantial attorney fees because of misconduct, fee shifting also seems appropriate.

Until today, Twelve didn’t know that packaged American cheese was individually wrapped. Parenting win!