Simon

Just killed a man's whole family and accidentally installed him as leader of Iran. We created Super Vengeance Boy and are just assuming he'll leave us alone.

Signage for "Excel Church"

"You know who else pivoted a table?"

A terrible Reform campaign leaflet converted into a paper aeroplane. The paper is crap, and it has failed to earn a certificate of airworthiness. Sad times.

I've disinfected the letterbox following the delivery of this poison pen letter and sadly, I can confirm that Reform leaflets aren't even any ruddy good as paper aeroplanes. {:^(

As each day goes by, MAGA muppets are increasingly resembling the phrase "How hard can it be?" stuffed into a suit.

This is the warning on the blood pressure monitor my dad just got.

Exceptional work. Anybody know what the fuck it’s supposed to mean?

Last line is especially ominous

SO MANY Muppet fatalities.

Children would be having nightmares for *years*. Adults too.

Still, though... I'd probably watch it.

The Book Towering Inferno - Tom Baker discusses the latest Puffin paperbacks while in the background Steve McQueen and Paul Newman scamper about desperately trying to save the building.

Actually, I'd watch that.

The Muppet Poseidon Adventure

*goose nipping at your ankles meme* WHO'S WRITING THE TRAINING

“Wait a minute! Isn’t anyone here a real sheep?”

“Wait a minute! Isn’t anyone here a real sheep?”

YES.

Given the choice, I wouldn't even let them go back to Dubai. If there's a basic decency test, they've failed massively.

Evidence for (much) later to back up my claim - Nelly sporting the Tesco Checkout 82 look.

The evidence I shall use is mounting!

The Jimmy Carr story I always think of is when he was ruining someone’s gig years ago while workshopping his laugh to get presenting gigs & got told to stop from the stage because “I don’t come to your shows and laugh”

Going to tell my grandkids that wearing price stickers on our cheeks was all the rage in the late nineties.

Just realised the clock was saying 51 minutes of the second half so they were well into stoppage time. I still hope he went into the dressing rooms afterwards and going full Oprah Winfrey: "YOU get a red, and YOU get a red, EVERYBODY GETS A RED CARD..."

Yeah, before seeing the video I was like you - "How can they send off that many players?" Now, my thinking is "How did he only dish out 23 reds?"

Here's the video (@cagarvie.bsky.social forwarded it to me): bsky.app/profile/pisc...

The only thing it was missing was a giant table loaded with custard pies.

Getting a nod from a cat is a good sign - you get that *and* a slow blink and you've got a cat that really respects you!

I have a very special place in my heart for calico/patchwork cats for obvious reasons. I'd have picked another after I lost Roxie but I know I would've been comparing her to Roxie and that wouldn't be fair for both of us. Paiten and Finley are very much their own cats and I love that about them.

Four photographs of Ella and Roxie on the day they came home in March 2008. Ella was a white and black cat with a very friendly personality, and Roxie was a ginger, black and white patchwork cat who ended up being my best friend (and an unimaginable source of support during the Covid lockdowns) until shortly after her 18th birthday last year. Ella decided to move out of my house and in with a neighbour in October 2008 because Roxie was making it clear that I and the house were hers, so she went to live elsewhere and lived very happily until at least February 2020, and hopefully for a few years after.

Found some photos of Roxie and Ella, the previous cats to own my house before Finley and Paiten assumed the role. Not sure it counts as #proofofcat, but it definitely counts as #proofofpreviouscats and seeing as the world is on fire I reckon this place needs some wholesome cat content today.

I bloody love Viz.

VAR: Masked fan unplugs monitor in German second division match A masked fan unplugged a VAR monitor in a German second division match as the referee went to the pitchside screen to check a penalty award.

Outstanding work. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

It's a fantastic film.

And here was me thinking I'd reached the limit of my dislike for these people. Wrong, Simon.

This is absolutely hilarious and deserves a Veep-style TV adaptation.

Still can't get over this bit -

'"It's regrettable," Hulk said after the incident.'

Nah, I shall stay and face what comes. I've had a good life!

BLIMEY.

That was in the 52nd minute, but the BBC says there was a winner. If the ref actually played to the end and then told them about the red cards afterwards that's a hell of a power move.