razorbunz

I am unfortunately also a Hank. But in my defense, my attitude towards shoveling snow is the same as doing gay porn: if I'm gonna get fucked by 12 inches, I'd rather deal with three inches four times than tackle all 12 at once. Also ocd lol

We cannot have a woman president because they are too emotional, you see.

I wanted to see if this amazing photo would be even funnier in b/w, and I'm happy to report that yes—yes it is.

Having a good time ruining someone else's good time is our national pastime.

2025 is the year of toxic individualism

It's all just so fucking boring. Predictable, hack, soulless, lowest-common-denominator slop. People are fr dying so our leaders can make low-effort deep cable reality TV. The most boring people imaginable making the most boring content ever to be wedged betwixt ads for gambling apps and dick pills

Real Corndog Talk: Upon completion of the corndog proper, If you ain't frantically nibbling off the crispy burnt batter from the stick like a cartoon mouse eating corn on the cob, then you ain't really corndoggin', dawg.

When Evil Lurks may be one of the greatest horror films ever made and I cannot in good conscience recommend it to anyone ever for any reason jfc my soul

If I die and there's an afterlife but it turns out god is a daddy long legs, I'm fuckin cooked, son.

my adverbs are begrudgingly/reluctantly

I think i might be done with the internet, at least for a while. It's not even fun anymore. Like, wtf are we even doing? I'm pretty sure we're only here because we forgot how not to be. It's fuckin deranged. I'm gonna log out everywhere and go read some sci-fi paperbacks. That sounds really nice.

The title sequence for season 2 of Peacemaker is a high water mark for multimedia art.

Paramount Skydance who owns CBS who now owns Bari Weiss' The Free Press. So yeah technically the same company owns both, but Bari Weiss will have no involvement whatsoever in Detroit Free Press (for now, at least).

2/2

After some minimal and admittedly sloppy research, it appears that Gannet Inc, the owner of Detroit Free Press, is a publicly traded company and, in 2019, the majority of shares were purchased by Vanguard, BlackRock, and a couple others. These companies also have majority shares in...

1/2

I am of a time where Steve Urkle loomed large in the zeitgeist and I am grateful for this.

watching #voyager and my wife, in an act of impressively casual savagery, says "Harry Kim answers the question 'What if Geordi La Forge was even less cool?'"

inside me there are two wolves and the three of us are about to take down this bag of sour patch kids together. Not as a team, but as a pack. Awooo

jfc i hate it here

a close up of a monkey wearing a crown with imgplay written on the bottom right ALT: a close up of a monkey wearing a crown with imgplay written on the bottom right

what up bitches just spelt vacuum correctly first try, no google, IN PEN get on my fucking level

I used to hate the song No Rain as a kid but now I love it because it reminds me of being young and hating things.

Next time you find yourself in a discussion about the differences between liberals, leftists, democratic socialists, moderates, progressives, and never trumpers, remember: billionaires don't give a fuck. We're all the same to them: human capitol stock. And they love it when we fight each other.

when you look at the words and actions of maga in the context of PTSD, it's a little bit heartbreaking. I mean, fuck em still, but it's legit sad.

imho fwiw, covid fundamentally broke our society and most of us as individuals on some level, and our collective coping mechanism seems to be simply pretending it didn't. I think the current state of affairs is a trauma response and the longer we avoid that discourse, the closer we get to Mad Max.

Alternatively, ratio the fuck out of them. Don't like their posts but comment "get off the internet and do your fucking job, you stupid, stupid baby"

Mute all politicians on social media, even the ones you like. Deny them engagement. Break their skinner box and deny them dopamine. This terminally online admin/congress cares more about their metrics than our literal lives, so quantifiably tank their popularity and watch how fast shit gets fixed.

My wife bought me a new butter dish and this might be it, you guys. This might be the thing that fills the void inside me.

Truth. I will say I appreciate that folks on the whole are pretty good about being clear and upfront in their bios so it's not too often that I follow for Simpsons shitposting but end up getting non-stop octopode cuckold manga

Queen Elizabeth's Final Diary Entry Contained Only Five Words

Shaka, when the walls fell