rant acc

his change isnt something i want though so fuvk him. i need to unapologetically be me for him to cower. cant let love for a man erase who ive always been

he obviously can't get over his past relationship and is wanting to get SOMETHING to comfort himself from me...

his grand gestures of affection and me not wanting him to feel rejected over that is one of the core reasons why this keeps going on. god im so over it though

i am so deeply ashamed of existing as myself that it scares me

i am not horrible for thinking i deserve better

i for some reason think those two are destined for each other

things are getting better but i am not going to forgive or forget. thats for sure. he's been a jerk and he was aware

UPDATEEE we are doing better :3c

woke up early so i could have more time for myself

Ferdinand Hodler
Genfersee mit Mont-Blanc im Morgenrot
(Lake Geneva with Mont Blanc, Rosy Morning) 1918

for legal reasons i have not kissed a girl

I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT 💥💥

STAY FUVKING AWAY YKU DEMON

THINGS ARE BETTER NOWWWW IM NOT STAGNANT ANYMOREE

whats with guys asking me out lately...

gotcha moment. im using idc im hurt af just bc he didnt say it doesnt mean hes against it

OHHHH REMINDS ME THERES THIS GIRL HE STILL TALKS TO who lied on his behalf and told me he said to her that i look like shit on the day of freshers

efforts do matter and im not stupid or pathetic for wanting them. its over

things have changed maybe? idk i dont trust anything rn

he kept saying "i look up to you" the last time i told him to stay away from me. i didnt understand how that came up but maybe he has a guilty conscience?

i am reminded of all these in silence after im done professing my love... and that is so wrong.

i should not forget the times when he looked down on me. i was weirded out to hear the sense of competition/ridiculing me. i can never work with such an attitude from people dear to me

had a good time with straight hair idk if ill keep it for tmr but lets see

feeling empty again 🐟 i need to lock in with studies

anyways it was a plastic rose. very reflective of his love ngl

and my fren got lowkey envious of this because her bf isnt givinf her much time. but hopefully he does pull up on the actual day bc its embarrassing.

and why even.. i was texting my fren when it happened and learned that rose day is tomorrow. i dont want to involve myself in this.

he sent me a rose... risky work first of all. was spam calling me and not on WhatsApp so i was worried sth happened. picked up and he says sth is coming take care of it. mum was at home.

DONEEE WITH MY INTERNSHIP NOW WE SHALL /REST/

all he needs to do is acknowledge and apologise to keep me in his life as i was earlier. but this fker is throwing all the responsibility at me now