False Knees

A scene of destruction; a city's downtown lays in smouldering ruin, skyscrapers crumbling, fires creating toxic smoke. A colossal mechanical robin stands in the middle of this mayhem. The machine leans forward with a hydraulic "VVVVRT" and exhaust shoots out of its neck with a "PSSHHT!". In the interior of this horrible mechanism we see a robin in the command centre, pausing and looking away from its module. Two more robins wait in pregnant pause, all wearing headsets. There is a poster hung that reads "WORK SAFELY" and features a bird wearing a hardhat. Another begins "you don't have to be CRAZY to work here but..." and is cut off by the frame of the image. We see the captain of the vessel, in a captain's hat, pause before commanding "Full power to thrusters". In the final panel, the mecharobin is blasting forward with immense jet engines that have emerged out of each side of the machine. Entire buildings are blown apart in its wake. The target of this war machine is a giant earth worm which is laying waste to the city in the foreground. It seems surprised at this maneuver of the robins.

With the heat and the poor air quality, I’m starting to get cabin fever

Forgot to add alt text of “sweaty man on stage, nervously”

I won an Eisner award!!! Life After Life took Best Webcomic! Incredibly surreal experience. I’m overjoyed

Popular fan theory but unfortunately I wasn’t that clever. The title of my comic predates birds’ appearance in it by about 4 or 5 years!

Yep! I’ve heard of someone in Germany getting one, but I’m not sure what your bookstores are over there, so you’ll have to check where it makes sense for you

If you are in the US, Canada, or the UK, here are some places your can find the book: site.andrewsmcmeel.com/ew-its-beaut...

Disclaimer: this comic is an ad for the release of my book, 'Ew, It's Beautiful' Panel one: My new book comes out today! Image of the book cover and a cartoonish crow Panel two: Buy it in a store! The crow asks an employee, Ted, of a bookstore "Can you direct me to the classic bird literature section?" Panel three: Borrow it from a friend! Ted and crow are fighting over a copy of the book in question. Ted exclaims "Hey! This is my personal copy!" Signs of altercation lie around them, his wallet and keys have fallen out of his pocket, an overturned book lies open. Panel four: Take it out from the library! A librarian is holding Ted's library card and says to the crow, who is taking the book out on loan "Enjoy your summer reading, Ted!" A computer on the desk dings with "BOOK LEND SUCCESSFUL" printed on the screen.

'Ew, It's Beautiful' is out now!

Yeah absolutely! I’m sure you can find it in your larger bookstores, and you can always ask the bookstore of your choice to order it for you

Interesting that it should be a dog catcher saying this. Why, I wonder. Is Heathcliff working with him? Shouldn’t the dog catcher be catching the dogs? All very interesting stuff

This is one of ~140 comic strips that are in my new book 'Ew, It's Beautiful', available for preorder now! >>>>> site.andrewsmcmeel.com/ew-its-beaut...

Two crows are flying in front of a gray-blue sky. One says to the other "Do you think we're best friends in other universes too?" The second panel splits into a three by three grid of different reactions of "Um"s and "Well"s from the second crow, in a multiverse sort of way. The third panel is further split again by three, so there are nine by nine squares of the same two crows flying together, the only distinction between the squares is a different sky colour. In the fourth panel, the square are again divided by three so there are now 27 by 27 filling the panel. We can see now that there is a greater pattern emerging from the colours of each square, a pixelated form is starting to emerge. In the fifth panel, the many many squares of different universes is reminiscent of a painting using pointillism, which each dot of colour represent one of many thousands of realities. We can see now very clearly that the pixelated forms are the two crows, flying in front of a gray-blue sky. We return to the visual resolution as we saw in the first panel, as if no time has passed at all. The second crow responds "It doesn't seem likely".

Improbably Compatible #oldknees

Preorder my new book here: site.andrewsmcmeel.com/ew-its-beaut...

This story is not in the book, but ~40 new and ~100 of your favourite False Knees comics are!

Back in the nest, our protagonist is recounting her adventure to her siblings "... and then the giant bird made a great sound..." She throws her head back and yells "OINK!" then quickly says to herself "wait, that can't be right." Her siblings say "that's a pretty cool story sis" "yeah". And quietly confer with each other "Should we...?" "Yeah alright" and ask Fledgling "How would you like to join our SECRET CLUB?" "How do have a secret club? We share the same... everything!" she replies. "It's pretty new" they say "yeah, so don't tell anyone!" "Yeah don't tell mom!" Fledgling agrees "She'd be like: 'oh, I don't know about that...'" The siblings respond "Haha!" "That's really good!" All erupt into gleeful laughter as we leave the chicks in their nest in a happy ending, and why would anyone expect otherwise from your friendly bird comics creator, Mr. False Knees. The End.

Fledgling (14/14)

Thanks for ordering! But to be clear, this story isn’t in the book

Just a little while left to preorder my new collection of comics! >>> site.andrewsmcmeel.com/ew-its-beaut...
Preorders are really appreciated because they help with how books get promoted in stores and online. Thanks!

Mama bird appears behind Fledgling "There you are!" she says, "all your down fell off... are you ok?". The chick has a thousand-yard stare and asks "mom... am I... food?". Mama bird responds "Aw, you're not to me" and to distract, asks "do you want some bug mush?" Fledgling emphatically replies "YAH"

Fledgling (13/14)

It’s exhausting. I feel like my brain has been rewired by all these damn hoops we have to jump through

Merriam-Webster should really read the room and include a LOT more drawings of birds if they want to stay relevant

and this is just a silly observation, not an endorsement of amazon, which I think is bad.

To clarify, my book of comic strips is not educational, nonfiction, nor is it a graphic novel! I think 'The Action Bible' meets maybe one of those criteria

Ecstatic to have my comics sharing the top two spots of 'Educational and Nonfiction Graphic Novels' with the BIBLE

Preorder my new book here: site.andrewsmcmeel.com/ew-its-beaut...
FYI, it does not include this story, but there are about 40 new comics and another 100 of the best False Kneeses of the past five years.

Fledgling looks on as its saviour walks away. We see the same white and black cat from earlier descending a tree trunk. The goose lets out a big 'HONK!' and the cat disappears in a cloud of smoke. Fledgling, bemused, says "Haha! Honk..." and then opens her eyes wide "Did I almost die"

Fledgling (12/14)

Preorder my new collection of comics here! site.andrewsmcmeel.com/ew-its-beaut...

Through Fledgling's half-opened eyes, we see the side of the goose's head with tree leaves above. The little chick comes to and panics as she realizes she is in the beak of a goose. She goes limp, dripping wet, as the goose steps onto the grassy shore. The goose sets Fledgling down, who is frantically flailing her feet. She sits, observing her surroundings, soaked. She looks up...

...and sees a heroic sight, the saviour goose, backlit in sunlight, has taken on an angelic appearance.

Fledgling (11/14)

This is amazing

Preorder my new book through the link here: site.andrewsmcmeel.com/ew-its-beaut....
While you're there, you can sign up to receive a free digital signed print of one of my comics!

The Canada goose sips its head below the surface of the water to get a look at the helpless chick. It stretches its neck down and opens its beak wide. "No no no!" thinks Fledgling, "Come back, weird smooth birds!". The final panel we see the goose's butt shaking above the surface of the water.

Fledgling (10/14)

Haha, it’s true