Dr. Dave

Also Megyn Kelly: Subscribe now to get push notifications all day long with updates about my ass.

Trump: I don’t understand football, but I wanted to go to the Super Bowl so the cameras would show me with my adoring fans.

Aide: What happened, sir?

Trump: I don’t have any adoring fans. I thought they’d appreciate it if I had their neighbors shot, but they’re strangely angry at me.

Shutdown looms as ICE shootings spawn partisan fight over DHS funding in US Congress — Reuters The federal government appeared headed for a partial government shutdown this week, with Republicans and Democrats at odds over funding for President Donald Trump's Department of Homeland Security aft...

Dems could refuse to approve funding for DHS after the recent execution of an innocent victim in Minneapolis.

Q: But will Dems have the backbone to do it?

A: Almost certainly not. They’re too busy sobbing and cowering before their Republican overlords.
apple.news/AbApEIsMRSyS...

MAGA: We vote Republican because we believe in gun rights. Ain’t no Democrat gonna take our guns away!!

DEMS: We were never planning to take your guns away. Donald Trump, on the other hand…

‘Risky Business’ and ‘Pretty Woman’ were fun, hit movies about good-natured sex workers.

‘Melania,’ though, is a horror film about a scheming stripper who corruptly entered the U.S. on the arm of the most awful human who ever lived.

Anyone who sees it deserves to be shunned forever.

Alex Vindman has announced his bid for a U.S. Senate seat in FL.

Vindman, as you know, is a heroic patriot and a staunch anti-Trump advocate. He’d make a sensational Senator.

Unfortunately, the insufferable swamp monsters and rednecks of FL elect only criminals, and Vindman is a man of integrity.

You voted for Trump THREE TIMES?!!

How could anyone as ignorant and self-destructive as you possibly have owned a sawmill? Every piece of wood you cut was smarter than you.

I have zero sympathy for you— but deep regret that you ever had the right to vote in U.S. elections.

😂😂😂

Q: Alexa, is that awful film, ‘Melania,’ really an Amazon production?

Alexa: Yes, it is.

Q: But, why?!

Alexa: Jeff Bezos needed to suck up to Donald Trump, so he paid $75M for a vanity project starring the naked wench Trump smuggled into America with her family.

Q: Really?!

Alexa: Absolutely.

The Trump Admin’s newest tourism ad:

‘Come to America to watch the FIFA World Cup! There’s a 40% chance that you won’t be shot and killed by ICE— slightly more if you’re white. Remember: when an ICE agent says, “Vere are your papers, schweinehund?!” have your damned papers ready!!!’

Absolutely NOT.

Kristi Noem and Stephen Miller SHOULD be gone— they should actually be imprisoned for life— but they will not be.

These reprehensible NAZIs were hired for their brutality and eagerness to murder innocent people for the demented dictator. They’re MAGA heroes.

MAGAts don’t care for people they DO know personally, either.

That’s why they don’t vaccinate their kids.

Of course! Most people eventually recover from food poisoning, but the trauma of the Melania movie would scar you for life.

Trump’s decision not to attend the Super Bowl has nothing to do with the halftime entertainment.

He’s worried that the network won’t show him constantly (ESPN bravely ignored him during last week’s game)— wasting the photo op— and he’s very much afraid the crowd will boo him mercilessly.

Chuckie is every bit as determined not to accomplish anything helpful as Merrick Garland was.

The good news, of course, is that you could fit a thousand MAGA brains in a single jar.

Ivanka already has the Chinese patent on caskets.

Trump: You elected me because I promised to protect your 2nd Amend. right to own a gun.

Q: But your Gestapo just executed a citizen who had a permit to carry a gun.

Trump: That’s what happens to protesters.

Q: Protesting is also a Constitutional right.

Trump: Not anymore.

Actually, you’d be the kind of criminal who has a Kristi Noem poster hanging in the living room.

They have to fuck garbage. No one else would go near them.

As much as I love the thought, I can think of only half-a-dozen Democrats capable of fulfilling that promise.

We have a party of frightened, entirely ineffectual, and passive, nearly-invisible politicians who are less effective than a big-mouthed middle-school kid.

We must rise up. Silence and inaction are complicity.

The only question now is whether there’s a sufficient number of Americans who still prefer democracy over fascism to fill the streets of America as they did in Minneapolis.

100% accurate. Trump’s base is comprised of voters so astonishingly corrupt and stupid that healthy people feel physical pain just listening to them.

They’re incorrigible and irredeemable— like zombies— & they’ll cheer as their neighbors are killed by ICE while democracy falls.

Germany won’t allow Nazis to regain power, and they have no tolerance for the use of language or symbols encouraging such.

In America, we continually RE-elect the very monsters who are dedicated to destroying our country.

We have the most ignorant electorate in world history.

MAGA: I ain’t never voting for no woman, especially if she black.

DEM: You’d rather elect a moronic, demented malignant narcissist?!!

MAGA: We gonna elect us a rich man who understands that ‘White is right,’ and who’s gonna teach them dog-eating immigrants a lesson. Hee-haw!!!

Perfectly-stated.

😂😂

How can anyone who cares about democracy defend the fact that half of Congress was complicit in the Jan. 6th insurrection and faced NO CONSEQUENCES for their efforts to overthrow the U.S. government— and many were since RE-elected?!!! What the actual fuck?!!!

‘Democratic leadership’ is an oxymoron.

When ICE hired him, they apparently promised that he’d get an additional free meal for every immigrant he kidnapped or killed— no limits.