ruben

So much Mexican American culture is so black and white when it comes to the gender binary and it’s hard to pull myself out of it sometimes I guess. Yes, at the end of the day I can just exist as myself and not worry about it but it doesn’t make the sense of a lack of identity magically go away.

Born here and my whole family speaks fluent Spanish but I can barely keep up with what anyone is saying. I hardly know anything about my culture. I’ll always feel more comfortable in the presence of women than I do men and the men will never see me as anything but a short haired woman. Idk

Idk just something about being Latine/x and transmasc nonbinary and the constant flow of not feeling like enough for either of those

Spotted some used pjo books at the library bookstore and it’s just like. Some kid will probably buy and read them for the first time and love it and that makes me more emotional than I care to admit ok !!! @rickriordan.bsky.social

Screenshot of a Tumblr post from httpsrubyblr that says It's always "there is still time" and never "the longer you wait, the closer you get to suffocating" or "I know it's scary, that's part of it" The tags read every time i’m scared of doing something good for me the presence of this movie resonates in the back of my head. no specific scenes just like. the existence of it. the fact that it is there and i’ve seen it.

Screenshot of a Tumblr post from httpsrubyblr that says It's always "there is still time" and never "the longer you wait, the closer you get to suffocating" or "I know it's scary, that's part of it" The tags read "So how are things?" "Hey so you know that scene in Spirited Away where Chihiro is running fast as all hell down some fucked up stairs?"

One of my I Saw The TV Glow posts on tumblr got a random influx of traction today and the tags on these two are so real

1) I love you please come back and let me love you again
2) Paisley
3) Jack / Finn
4) There’s so much that I didn’t get to say to you / Paul

They’re acrostic poems of sorts. The first one uses the first word to make a new sentence, the next two use the first letters to spell names, and the last one is a combination of both! >>

Some poetry I’ve written recently from the point of view of my favorite oc :)

Made it from a canva template in like 5 seconds but I fuck with it I can’t lie

Two blue text message bubbles. First text bubble says: Being trans in Texas is crazy like why are these random ass small town guys giving me gender envy… why is there something about belt buckles and jeans with tucked in tshirts shirts and baseball caps and pocket knives that make me like wait…ideal gender…?? Second text bubble says: it definitely has to do with the fact that I’m built like someone’s mom.

Transmasc person with the body of a Latina auntie experiences gender envy over random small town men…tale as old as time…

I simply MUST make a “love me some them” design for a shirt or button or something

There’s this older woman I’ve known since I was a sad little 19 year old living in west Texas and I recently got back in touch with her bcus I’m planning on moving back out that way. Told her my preferred name and pronouns today :)

Sometimes I get to a point with dysphoria where I’m like there’s not enough analogies or flowery language to help me deal with the fact that it sucks. Like it’s not beautiful or brave, it literally just sucks and that’s it sometimes 😭

Buying used books is a blessing and a curse bcus this book was on my to buy list and I found it for $1 at the library bookstore but also this inscription was in it and I’m so ridiculously sad about it

I had pretty much decided on it when I posted this but it just makes me so sad that I feel I have to leave bcus it’s not safe for me to live somewhere that I love so much

tbh lost all patience for those who say they're still fans of hp, even if they say "despite jkr" or "i buy fan made stuff" or "hp's ours not jkr's". trans lives are more important than fictional wizards. today is only one example of the tangible impact jkr's bigotry has had

a medieval style digital drawing of an androgynous brown-skinned knight on horseback on a hill, stabbing a long gold spear into a blue dragon on the ground. the knight has a gold halo behind their head and wears a suit of silver armor with a nonbinary flag striped tunic and a trans flag as a cape. their horse is white, with blue tack with trans pride trim. there is black gothic text at the top and bottom of the image reading “A world without trans people has never existed and never will.” there’s an ornate pale blue border around the image, filled with pink and blue scrollwork, gold hearts filled with colorful flowers, a smiley bat, two smiley moles, and two smiling frogs holding up trans flags.

a world without trans people has never existed and never will

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this part in the isttvg screenplay since I read it a couple days ago

Having doubts about moving from my hometown to another state, might rewatch I Saw The TV Glow about it so I can remind myself that it feels I’m actively suffocating the longer I stay here

hey (with the intention of getting you to change your negative opinion on shane stardew)

Thinking a lot about Shane Stardew today

I <3 stealing my banger tweets from my own account

why do people try so hard to apply irl logic to stardew valley when it comes to the trans shane headcanon … this is the same game where you can change your gender in a wizard’s basement in exchange for some gold .

And yes, I do understand it doesn’t work for ALL gendered terms but it does work for most. It sucks that Spanish is a language that uses a lot of emphasis on gendered terms (-o and -a endings) but at least try to make the neutral ones something that works for the language 😭

Mis amiges, elle, Latine, Chicane, etc. etc. just roll off the tongue better and makes more sense in the the chosen language of Spanish. I’ve neverrrr been able to get over it souning like people are are saying a variation of Kleenex. 💀

I still don’t understand why the use of -x at the end of Spanish words to make them gender neutral became a thing. It makes zero sense to me ‼️ in the context of the language.‼️ I am, however, a big advocate for using -e at the end instead.

And I don’t mean to sound dramatic when I say this, but I don’t think people understand how diverse and full of culture Texas is and it breaks my heart that the love I have for Texas will probably never be returned in a way that matters in my lifetime

Televangelism by Ethel Cain was the song for this tiktok and it made me want to cry at work

Bonus! A signed copy of Have You Seen Marie? by Sandra Cisneros! Crazy find for me because I’d just been reading one of her other books earlier this week!
(And my mom dropped lore on how my grandma apparently had beef with Sandra when they lived in the same neighborhood… crazy stuff lol)

-Generations of Texas Poets by Dave Oliphant
-Selected Poems by William Carlos Williams
-Cande, te estoy llamando by Celest Guzmán
-Citizen Illegal by José Olivarez
-The Canción Cannibal Cabaret & Other Songs by Amalia L. Ortiz