Ben Pobjie

A Black yeti plushy.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Black Yeti Plush. Most people assume that all yetis are white. Is this racist? Yes. Yes, it is.
collabs.shop/gvckxb

Well la di da Mr I’m Too Classy To Jerk Off To The Chipettes.

Ok let’s unpack that shall we

On a scale of 1 to 10 for hotness, I would rate myself a good listener

(Defensive and unconvincingly) “I have pants; I have many pairs of pants. Why, right here is a pair of pants I own, and can wear. I wear pants all the time”

1 Teletubbies: We're all vaxxed! 2 Guy watching TV: The Teletubbies feared Covid-19. 3 Guy: This proves that they are mortal. 4 Guy, loading shotgun: The beasts can be killed.

This might be my favorite comic we've made.

I was just really proud of you for being open about your dreams

me, at the big work meeting, after the boss has just laid out a 20-year progressive plan for the company: haha, you’re laying out these complex metrics as if… {chuckling as i gesture to everyone in the room} …as if any of this matters.

Hi, just checking in on Bluesky. Everyone still intersectionally sound? Great!

This isn’t true. This could definitely happen in Australia. I think it could probably happen just about anywhere. Absolutely everyone is capable of seeing themselves as victimised, given the right motivation.

A nice knock on your door. Against your better judgement you open it.

"Hello!" I say happily. Dressed in a brown plaid suit, black bowler hat, and carrying a very large suitcase.

"Have you ever considered the advantages of reusable metal tubes?"

Animal running for his life in Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

muppetizing the film industry: thread

Sometimes all you can do is laugh. This is a symptom of major brain injury.

Book Club: “Many of them found their own slow deaths were lowering their morale” An extract from Ben Pobjie’s Error Australis: The Reality Recap of Australian History.

"Also, there was a fear that the new arrivals would introduce a criminal element to the continent, which to be fair was a pretty accurate fear."

Brilliant extract from @benpobjie.bsky.social's "Error Australis", concerning 1788 and all that.

You know how at McDonalds the wifi is called “Wi-Fry”? That kills me. It’s amazing. I could never think up something like that.

I do hope mine will

It’s quite an honour to be featured here. It’s like the Substack equivalent of playing the Grand Ole Opry, or something more appropriate than that.

On the 20th January, 1788, the Fleet arrived at Botany Bay, where the British immediately came into contact with the indigenous inhabitants of New South Wales. Many of the indigenous community saw their arrival as evidence of their government’s lax border protection policies. “If you’d had the ticker to introduce off-shore processing, these boats would have stopped coming,’”they declared, to which their opponents pointed out that the boats had only just started coming, making it difficult to foresee. “Besides,” they added, “these poor white idiots need our help, let us extend the hand of friendship.” But a sentiment grew strongly in the community that the First Fleet had behaved appallingly by attempting to sneak in through the back door rather than going through the proper channels. By coming on unauthorised boats, it was pointed out, the Englishmen had taken places away from those in genuine need. What’s more, the journey from England to Australia was long and dangerous, and many Aborigines stressed the need to discourage desperate Englishmen from getting on boats and risking their lives. Also, there was a fear that the new arrivals would introduce a criminal element to the continent, which to be fair was a pretty accurate fear. Of the meeting between Europeans and Aborigines at Botany Bay, Watkin Tench poignantly wrote, “I had at this time a little boy, of not more than seven years of age, in my hand”, which is pretty unsettling. He showed the little boy to the natives so they could see his white skin. “Yes, we get it – you’re all white,” the natives replied. “Leave the little boy alone.” But Tench would not listen. “I advanced with him towards them, at the same time baring his bosom and, shewing the whiteness of the skin,” he wrote. “It’s spelt ‘showing’ you idiot,” the Aborigines replied, and the misunderstandings only got more problematic from there. The First Fleeters did not have time to ponder the intricacies of modern race relations just at that mome…

jonn.substack.com/p/book-club-...

Book Club: “Many of them found their own slow deaths were lowering their morale” An extract from Ben Pobjie’s Error Australis: The Reality Recap of Australian History.

“Many of them found their own slow deaths were lowering their morale.”

No newsletter this week because I've been on holiday. Instead, here's an extract from @benpobjie.bsky.social's excellent book Error Australis, concerning 1788 and all that

What a game

When did Young get back?

Please introduce me to Stephen Fry I am crowdsourcing friendship

Seriously I know at least one of you knows Stephen Fry. Introduce me you jerk. open.substack.com/pub/benpobji...

Finally my crusade is not solo

Please introduce me to Stephen Fry I am crowdsourcing friendship

Please introduce me to Stephen Fry open.substack.com/pub/benpobji...

I will pay you to apologise to me

Simpsons George Bush meme: AND BECAUSE WE'D MASTERED TEST CRICKET THERE WAS NO NEED TO PLAY IT NEXT SUMMER

#WTCFinal 🏏

The word “erection” can be used in more than one context. Which may be useful for comedic purposes. Just a tip.

Also several of our wickets fell when the batter wasn’t even trying to take an advantage.

Honestly it feels like we won

The sort of piece I’d like hooked to my veins