SwitchbladeCervid 🏳️‍⚧️θΔ

i might end up deleting this later because i feel this is a bit too heavy-handed to post. thanks for reading.

i think often times i confuse my friends. i end up not bringing things up, even the small things that should be easy to talk about, because i'm afraid of getting yelled at. i'm conditioned to expect harm. i'm just scared of what will happen to me. i really do want to get better at communicating.

// abuse
i've been hit for trying to explain my feelings. in my teens, i was chased and threatened with a knife once for trying to talk to my mother about my mental health.

the feeling of fear for trying to talk something out never leaves. i'd do almost anything if it means not being yelled at.

trying to admit something to myself.

i have trouble communicating due to anxiety. it's to a severity that's hard for others to understand. the difficulty comes from being conditioned to expect harm to a disproportionate degree, emotion or even physical, due to both past and present events.

watching charlie brown, pointing at the screen going "HOLY SHIT IS THAT A LOBSTERFIGHT REFERENCE"

i just worry some day soon im going to wake up and i'll just find my whole world crumbling down. i barely want to sleep. i especially dont want to wake up.

my anxiety's been so bad lately that i haven't been able to keep food down half the time, i keep throwing it up. i ended up not taking my meds until today. i keep waking up feeling this abysmal sickening sense of dread.

i really love finding forgotten music because it's kind of like a time capsule, and sometimes you'll find hidden gems too

like i picked a random song from a random album and it definitely sounded like the singer was aiming to sound like rou reynolds and the instrumentals definitely sounded inspired by take to the sky's

it's funny, every time i hear electronicore or synthesizers used i can tell the song would have been made after 2007, because often times the song will sound very inspired by the album take to the sky by enter shikari

things have been really rough lately but i learned about a myspace/purevolume archive project on internet archive and i'm having a lot of fun listening to lost, forgotten projects that very much reflect the popular alternative music of that time

As you walk further into the old Letterman's garden, the snap of a twig makes you jump out of your skin. You turn around and...

"Bleh"

a vampire doe (and fun anecdote!) from @hititecstasy.bsky.social ^-^

Finished commission ^^ last of this batch! i think its super cute

a silly critter from @hititecstasy.bsky.social :3

Sillaaaaayyyyyy ✨ :P

#furry #furryart #sapphstuff

i've never liked anyone this much before

JUST LEARNED ABOUT A NEW SOLO ALBUM RELEASE BY J FROM GLASS BEACH YAY

WAIT I FORGOT GLASS BEACH NOOOO

FAVORITE ALBUM OF EACH BONUS
The Spark
In Silico
War All the Time
Clarity/Bleed American tied tbh depends on mood
Dance Tonight! Revolution Tomorrow!
How It Feels To Be Something On
Gami Gang
Relationship of Command
Failed At Math(s)
Hours
Two Conversations
Collected

DID YOU KNOW DOE? BANDS I REALLY LIKE (not necessarily in order)
Enter Shikari, Pendulum (these two were among my favs since I was a kid), Thursday, Jimmy Eat World, Orchid, Sunny Day Real Estate, Origami Angel, At The Drive-In, Panchiko, Funeral for A Friend, The Appleseed Cast, Saetia

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Opening comms temporarily for headshots only, probably won't be able to do other types of comms because life is too hectic.

Feel free to message if interested, price for headshots is 35 dollar
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#furry #furryart #commissions

then they got dropped from the label following internal/leadership changes within that company, even after clarity's critical acclaim and cult following

another fun thing: jimmy eat world's split with mineral and sense field was technically something they could've been sued for, because they were signed up to capitol. capitol, despite having them on for an album at that point, forgot who they were and it slipped under their radar.

weird to think that jimmy eat world's clarity, one of the most influential emo albums, might have been sat on by capitol records indefinitely if not for lucky denver mint being pitched for a romcom movie

that lead capitol records to actually push releasing the album to correspond

i need to start a list of lyrics that stuck with me for whatever reason whether, they are profound, sounded cool or any other reason
beginning with "if you want to be a martyr, try harder" from the new nathan detroits by braid

reminder i do have a soulseek with a bunch of albums on it :3
SwitchbladeCervid

shotgunning with ur bestie~
(finished comm!)