@bobheller.bsky.social
I’m Bob. My penis is 4 inches but thick as a beer can, has 2 heads and can kill a pair of doves from 17 feet. Oh hey, bobhellertees.com is still kind of a thing Kind of. shitskeets: https://tinyurl.com/hxaja4ba
Logically, if the wedding were on Christmas, there’d be a donkey. But I doubt I’d notice because I’d be too into the soup.
What do you think about a bread bowl? I mean, you can dip your bread in soup inside bread! Kablang!!! Happy Sunday!!!
where have all the cowboys gone?? well it sounds crazy but they all went to the yard because of some dang milkshake i don’t know what else to tell you
At Italian weddings do they just call it “soup?”
Go for the soup. Stay for the porking a bride’s maid in the coat closet.
BUCKET LIST ITEM #7: Try all the wedding soups of the world.
“The ceremony was long but lovely. The band... phenomenal but... let me tell you. About. The soup...”
WEDDING SOUPS!!!!
Italian weddings must be the best seeing as how they have a soup named after them.
I fuckin love dipping my bread in soup 🤤
when you’re trying to sneak out and grab the amazon package first thing in the morning but your neighbor spots you
Awwww shucks. WELCOME BACK!!!!
Not all heroes wear capes. . . but the ones who do. . . have to wrap ‘em around their necks like a scarf when they take a shit.
You... are my muse. No. Wait. My mule- No! My muse. I dunno. Either way, I'm gonna ask you to put a bunch of drugs up your butt
Cop: any drugs in the car?
Me: not anymore
Just won the lottery, got gas, lost the lottery.
Interesting to see so many “experts” on here all of a sudden 🤔. A week ago most of you had never even heard of oil
The surgery was wildly successful. Replaced my butt hole with a mini doughnut and now my farts smell like french cruller.
He’s really not supposed to be on that chair.
They didn’t call him “Deep Dickin’” Abraham Lincoln just because he had a huge dick but it helped.
This day in history. 1997. Paul McCartney got a bellyful of wine and was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II. Congratulations Your Holiness, said George and Ringo.
Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds, and this is my wife, Patti.
I'm pretty sure my plumber isn't a classic video game fan because he got all angry when I threw a barrel at him.
itsa me mar10
Is your girlfriend wife material? I'm building a giant wife.
WIFE: he calls blueberries “bloobs”
DIVORCE LAWYER: my god
By the way, the end is near.
If we have to evacuate the Earth, they better not just let all the Aarons on first cuz that's not really fair.
Sprung forward.
Clutched a baby antelope by the neck, first with my claws and then with my teeth, wrestled it to the ground, tightening my clench until the life left its body.