Dominic Utton

Literally one of the coolest people to have ever lived.

Fire extinguisher next to a statue of Joan of Arc

Hell of a thing to put next to a statue of Joan of Arc. (h/t David Pilling)

Ffs, REALLY Home Bargains?

Cool kids of #Oxford! This is happening tonight at the Tap Social Taproom in Botley!

#Indie #Disco

He’s back… and he’s mad as hell.

I have for a long time declared “Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo” to be one of the greatest rhyming couplets of the 20th century.

We had a delivery guy recently ask to take a photo of our door knocker (it’s shaped like a cat). He said he collects photos of unusual door knockers, which I thought was wonderfully wholesome.

Adding Pushbike Royals to my potential new band names list.

Just had my first Advent Calendar press release. It’s August.

Six-thirty pm, the allotment, an encounter with a man at the water trough.

“Good morning,” he says.

“Good morning,” I reply.

We continue to fill our watering cans in silence, neither of us willing to acknowledge what just happened.

Say what you like about Stella Rimington, but Stella Rimington is a fucking amazing name.

I’m a journalist - I write for £££!

Tl;dr - everyone is insane, most are related to each other, most are cheating on their partners (sometimes with people they’re related to), there’s at least one serial killer, there’s a whole lot of other murders and everyone’s plotting revenge against someone else. It’s perfect.

So look, will someone please commission me to write a long form piece on why #Hollyoaks is the purest example of Jacobean revenge drama since Thomas Kyd's The Spanish Tragedy?
Because it really is and I really am the man to write it. #journorequest

This. For example, The Smiths were life changingly wonderful, even though Morrissey has subsequently turned out to be a dick. (See also Ian Brown and Matt Le Tissier.)

Wham! at the BBC is giving me all the joy and all of the sad and that’s exactly the power and beauty of pop music in a nutshell, kids.

a man wearing sunglasses and a white shirt is dancing in front of a neon sign . ALT: a man wearing sunglasses and a white shirt is dancing in front of a neon sign .

If you’re in #Oxford tonight and love good music, I’m DJing the INDIE DISCO at the Tap Social Taphouse in Botley - come get loaded!

I’m telling you, they’re going to be massive. #Nightbus #SpotifyWrapped

“…if it wasn’t for those meddling middle class women of a certain age.”

I wonder how legitimate Nigel Farage would consider a spuriously concocted petition of a million people calling for him to step down as an MP?

Or perhaps he’d claim that’s not how British parliamentary democracy works?

Update. Everyone is really nice to each other? Crazy.

Although now I think about it, that didn’t work out so well in the end.

Given this, I had a bath tonight almost entirely because of Squeeze.

Belle & Sebastian. Always dismissed them as fey indie bedwetters until I fell in love and then suddenly they were my favourite band…

Tomorrow I start a new job in a corporate office and the only “offices” I’ve ever previously worked in have been newsrooms and am I right in thinking people don’t shout and swear at each other quite so much in corporate offices?

Well that was a most peculiar game of football, momma.

This was the first novel I received as a gift from a peer (sixth form girlfriend) as opposed to adult. Both the book itself and the idea that it could be cool to give someone a book made a huge impression on me.

Did the booing at Wembley just drown out BOTH national anthems? Or was that just my telly?

i encourage you all to be more like my son. take in the beauty of your everyday surroundings. smile. take a nap without worrying about how it might disrupt your day. and every two or three hours, shit your pants as hard as you possibly can

While obvs the starter pack thing is lovely, I think it’s getting a wee bit jump the sharky and “here’s a starter pack for Cumbrian geologists into anime and cosy crime”.