mung daal

i gave my whole family a plate of these "redberries" and it's been an absolute fucking disaster. chowder is still in critical condition, i only got out of the hospital yesterday and i've been speaking to a lawyer for the past eight hours. my life is fucking over.

i invented a new berry that is blue but idk what to call it.

my sources are telling me she also swallowed a spider, a cat, and even a horse. i don't see how that has anything to do with me; i haven't had a horse in my kitchen in years.

i would never put a fly in a customer's soup. the "warnings" that are circulating about my restaurant are just plain false. that old lady dying is a genuine tragedy but there's no need to be reactionary about it just because her last meal was prepared by me.

i hung out with gazpacho the other day and he kept talking about his “puppygirl gf” like it was something to brag about. i said that dating a dog isnt something to be proud of and he called me a “swagless boomer.” son, i have more swagger in my left pinkie toe than you have in your entire body

have you ever eaten glue?

if you live nearby please keep an eye out for shnitzel and call mung daal’s catering if you spot him. he ate one of my talking glueberries and i havent seen him since. they are not edible, i actually use them as rat poison, but he is made of stone so at worst he should be delirious instead of dead

Website "custom-cursor.com" where you can download Chowder Mung Daal Cursor and it switches between mung daal's face and a bowl of stew

Glad your enjoyed! 🤰

Check out my website for my new recipe!

check out my website for my new recipe!

check out my website for my new recipe!

i just realized "fuul" would sound like "fool" and i take it back. Kung Daal? No. Nevermind. Just forget it.

tbh they should be calling me Kung Fuul because i am a master of jujitsu and karate and other ancient chinese martial arts

shnitzel just called me “cuck daal.” not even clever. just crass and hurtful, really. perhaps i was too harsh on chowder . “bung haal” at least took some ingenuity.

chowder just called me “bung haal”. he’s just a kid so i dont blame him for not understanding that words can be like daggers when used improperly. he can sulk in his room and consider my feelings but i dont think he’ll truly understand what he has done today until he is in his wiser years.

it enhances the flavor profile, generally speaking

btw im calling the species “cognizapples.” theyre actually more like a type of berry but i didnt like “selfawerries” as much

is there a test like the “turing test” but for fruit that has been selectively bred to have self-awareness? because i think my newest harvest possesses an extreme degree of consciousness. i need a test to help me determine whether or not eating these things is still ethical

ok chowder i'll level with you. mafia. it's the mafia. we're gonna be sssleepin with the fishes if ya know what im saying. they're going to kill us chowder

no but seriously we have an order for 12 hundred flubby wubby snake cakes and if we don't get these done within the next three hours... 😬 let's just say we're in some deep trouble

chowder . we have to cook. yeaaahhh like in breaking bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! (puts on the cool hat and sunglasses) i... am heisenberg. i am the danger!! LOL

anyway chowder is having his xbox live privileges revoked

today i asked chowder why he smelled like spoiled nurples and he said it was “an alpha male thing.” i asked where he learned that and he said gazpacho taught him. “what else did gazpacho teach you,” i ask. and he tells me—i kid you not—he tells me that gazpacho said showering is “cuck behavior.”

foie gras has passed

picture of chowder but mung daal is big on the left

someone in my DMs said to download a mantis shrimp filter. What the heck is this. did endive do this???? why is she targeting my mantis shrimp customers?????

a mantis shrimp just walked in, took one look at this thing and left. wtf?

poster that says "have you seen him? now you have" and chowder is on it. poster is laminated.

that pink girl keeps coming into my restaurant with a stack of papers like this and asking if she can hang them up. i always say no but this time she said she saved two dollups to get one printed in color and laminated at the library. how could i say no to that.

thanks to whoever sent this post to truffles. thanks a lot. i actually LOVE sleeping in the living room so i'm not even mad!!