Travis Helwig

Thank you for being so loving to my wife.

It’s legit crazy this is a true stat. Like in 77 years? No woman has been good enough more than twice????

That’s the look of absolute terror at having to speak in a public forum

In 77 years of #Emmys, only male writers have ever been to win more than twice? That seems… bad??

But Jen Statsky and Lucia Aniello could be the first this year. @goldderby.com www.goldderby.com/tv/2025/luci...

what british people call cocaine

“He was secretly trying to say something about America!”

(Watched Uncle Sam say “this is too ghetto.”)

Ohhhh, I didn’t realize!

“Did you know the Super Bowl halftime show ACTUALLY contained secret metaphors about the state of our country?”

It literally opened with Uncle Sam and an American flag dance, so… yes?

I would sign up to work for this man Day 1. Our party is broken, we need our OWN tv psycho.

unhinged man who doesn't care about truth just cares about winning the tv moment? dems we found our trump lets gooooooo #DraftStephenA

If Nardwuar shows up at my show spilling secrets from my past, y'all never gonna see that lil gremlin again i can promise you that

Luigi the hot italian bisexual huberman-listening healthcare assassin / civ 6 debugger? My guy, you don’t need to read the book, you’re living it.

is there a way to unregister to vote?

Politicize everything you fucking cowards. Decency is dead.

There is no greater joy in life than fast-forwarding past the challenges on The Traitors.

Politicize everything you fucking cowards. Decency is dead.

All the brands who say “the big game” are pussies.

Feel like there might be a better way to structure checks and balances since the House and the Supreme Court have become unmanageable.

I forget what podcast I'm stealing this from, but they made the point that people don't trust the govt bc the parts of the govt they deal with all the time (Post Office, DMV, IRS) are all nightmares. It doesn't matter that GOP defunded them. People just see a bureaucratic hell.

Thanks Jordan

It will be interesting to see who wins the Super Bowl.

They were teammates on the Knicks, no?

No I liked James

I read the book everyone loved last year and it’s bad.

We need two eightballs and 6 fentanyl test strips

I finally know what I was put on this earth for. God created no one better than me for this solemn task...

I will be the one to make Peter Hegseth relapse.

I’m happy to say I have no idea what you’re talking about.

40 is generous