rEliseTheKraken

Kids these days don't know nothin' about Bobwehadababy Eetsaboy.

Wtf that is soooo unnecessary 🙃 Who thought this was a good idea?!

Dude, that's wild. I haven't seen that at any of the Fry's I've been to.

Videowut

Awwww 🥹

Does anyone else feel like they're drowning when they see someone go face first into the shower stream on TV and movies, or is that just me?

This is too cute 😭

Oh, you KNOW that it came home with me 🤣

Guess I'll have to spend a weekend downloading all my crap then 😭

Never talk to me or my son again.

Studying a language while you poop = Puolingo

It doesn't matter how many times I listen to Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe, it tickles my brain in the most indescribably delightful way.

It's simply perfection.

I love this 🥹

Before living in the desert, I used to live in the woods back east. Sometimes, I'd go sit in the porch and play guitar and sing to the squirrels. Felt like some real fairytale princess shit 😂

Please tell me you sing to them too 🥹

Scene: Introducing BF to Donkey Kong Country for the first time because he had Sega as a kid instead of Nintendo.

Me: Oh no, Mine Cart Carnage. Brace yourself.

Him: It's just mine carts. How bad could it be?

*we proceed to blow through 18 lives straight to a game over*

So, I guess it's time to start using this sucker more.

It's really a shame that I didn't know this one trick doctors hate before the sale was over

Something is up with option 3?

Fuck today, tbh.

"Well, I reckon I done skibidied my last toilet"

-Some retiring school janitor (probably)

I love when I'm finally feeling like tackling a project after months of not having the energy to, only to find that a very important tool for said project has fallen victim to the timeless ADHD hit single "Putting This Object Somewhere I Won't Lose It (I'm Gonna Lose It Anyway)"

🎵Destinaaaaaaation unknown
Daylight come and me wanna go home🎵

Same tho, tbh.

Once I get my inflatable night club, it's over for you bitches.

The bagel bites jingle really had no right going as hard as it did.

Somebody called me Eleanor in an email response at work today and I was mad at first...

...until I realized that when I initially reached out to them, I accidentally called them the wrong (but similar) name, and you know what? I respect their response. Can't even be mad.

I'm 3 days into Invisalign treatment and I'm ready to square up and fist fight God just for making teeth necessary.

Do you ever lick a Nintendo Switch cartridge just to feel alive?

Me: *Googles something mildly embarrassing while using incognito mode*

Google: Hey, you uhhh...wanna log in?

Me: *gestures at the incognito icon*

Google: ....you sure?

Sometimes, humans aren't terrible.