my scientists say to me, mr president, we got the best medbeds in the world. i saw on tv they recreated a woman from just her hand. beautiful woman by the way, it’s amazing what science can do. then the channel switched to a loud talk show host on a cruise. i didn’t care for him
Zohran Mamdani and Brad Lander (2025)
Got it for you
if I am driving my car into lower Manhattan I am already fucked. something has already gone Wrong in my Life. the congestion pricing is like when you buy a beer at the airport: the situation I am in is already so far out of my control I don't care about the $9
My haters are my waiters in the Sultan's Ruby Lounge at Ankara International Airport.
Wins for Oppenheimer and Godzilla Minus One mean this is the first time a movie and its sequel both won Oscars the same year.
About to get thrown out of here for obvious reasons
Mfer killed metrification because he was 5’11”
I came here to do two things: pray and quote Natalie Imbruglia, and I’m all out of faith
ME: Everyone has a soul and since souls are actually ghosts, technically we're all haunted
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: how do you keep waking up
If you’re a celebrity on here you need to play it cool. You’re outnumbered
