Crime Spooks

What is the ides of March?

Kristi Noem confronts enemy combatants in the Portland war zone today.

Gonna be thinking about this lede for a minute.

They say Taylor Swift and Charlie xcx are dissing each other but no one's called the other a pedophile?

You'd think maybe you'd figure out that you're also wrong on gender, but no, instead you double down on it. Science for you when it suits you, conveniently ignored when you consider it "woke" or whatever.

The "we" in "we didn't know ___" is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Consider it was just you.

Who is Mike PORTnoy?

Yesterday I was talking to my therapist friend. She let me know that therapists say they don't have favorite clients but that they absolutely do, much like parents say they don't have favorite children.

I have a very successful brother. Now I gotta worry if my therapist has a successful patient?

CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.

ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't

CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.

ISILDUR: true

Only heretics believe in transubstatiation of Anakin's seared flesh. True believers knows it's a metaphor for Anakin's pure hate for all people, not just for the men, but the women and children too.

Moy-dah?

...making it so only already wealthy people can afford to do the job.

You think another AOC could happen with that policy?

You know the original lyrics were bye bye miss American cake

His defection deals a serious blow to the movement. The world has never seen a fascist movement before that has harnessed the power of Donkey Sauce.

A Fox News Chyron that says for my antifa member speaks out on the left is Jesse Watters and on the left right is Guy Fieri

Ahh, you have seen a Bluesky Elder get poster's madness, but gather round children and I shall tell you a story of poster's madness that predates even the term's very existence!

Toad from Mario drawn on a dry erase markerboard

My therapist: Markerboard Toad is not real. Markerboard Toad cannot hurt you.

Markerboard Toad:

I never thought I'd see the day where I'd call Dave Chappelle a hack, but here we are.

Imagine doing the Free Speech bit in fuckin' Saudi Arabia while making millions of dollars. The only way that makes sense is if he can't NOT do hackneyed material to make his set. Not a shred of self awareness.

My uncle gets drunk at Thanksgiving and won't shut up about Project Simian and how Jane Goodall was the key to all of it.

This coming Thanksgiving he is going to be insufferable.

I don't know what fluke of neoliberal economics made it so that in the 90's every single elementary student in the USA was made to permanently memorize the name of an elderly British primatologist and conservationist, but I am certainly glad that I was able to know about her and her work growing up.

a chimpanzee is laying on a couch and pointing at a piece of paper ALT: a chimpanzee is laying on a couch and pointing at a piece of paper

Mood

What is Chilly?

YouTube video by Angela Collier conspiracy physics and you (and also me)

this is the last physics video for a bit.
and I didn't even get to do any physics.

Don't forget about canceling those subscriptions, Angela!

Watching Coates/Klein was such a revelation about the fact that many modern Democrats struggle to differentiate the descriptive from the normative. If you don't have a language for what *should* be, everything that *is* starts to feel inevitable

Spent the last decade reading conservative blogs use the word "Orwellian" more than they used the word "the" and now they're literally just saying "War is Peace" out loud in front of everybody.

Scrotox saved my marriage

Every day I look in the mirror and am discouraged and humiliated at my unseemly asshole wrinkles. Is there nothing I can do to have my fresh, smooth anus of my 20's?

In a new podcast interview, anti-vax figure Sherri Tenpenny said her family "used to sit around the kitchen table talking about [the] New World Order & the Illuminati &, you know, Council for Foreign Relations & all that stuff when I was a kid."

Bart Harley Jarvis getting scouted for Michigan.

Like a hiker

Trapped for the very first time