girl fieri

Yes like here is something for a child who has been vomiting through all the sheets you own, welcome to hell tho

Hannah you’re so right lmao

“It will be colorful and sticky and melt on contact like it was doused in rock salt.”

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Pitch meeting for Pedialyte popsicles

“Ok, imagine a popsicle. It’s for sick children.”

🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

“You need scissors to get it open. And to eat it, you need the dexterity and patience to push just enough of the popsicle out of the plastic to eat but not so much it flies out and makes a mess.”

🤩🤩🤩

Omg that’s from forever ago!

I think 80% of them are fine with whatever he does tbh

“Teach your 2 year old toddler to sit quietly and respectfully, you checked out parents!” Post the MAGA Boomers as the president of the United Stayes calls a sitting governor the r-word in a nonsensical screed.

Yep, like what do you mean screen zombies and where can I find them

I am too dehydrated and feverish to do an activity of any kind beyond Play Doh or coloring books.

The last indignity of norovirus is I cannot take these kids anywhere because I don’t want to spread it. They have been in the house for like 5 straight days, have taken everything completely apart, have reached the whining stage of bored, and

Every time I get norovirus - literally every single time - I’m like what is this eldritch horror? This must be an ancient plague! There is no way this is the stomach flu of my youth, I must be patient zero of something truly horrible. Alert the CDC

Our family all got norovirus in brutal succession over Thanksgiving and whew I am salty about it

It’s @yusufahmed.bsky.social first organized race so we brought headwinds, snow, ice, freezing temps and steep elevation to the party 😂💪🏼🫶🏼

Lmao I have gotten maybe 5 DMs ever, all from people I recognize, never unsolicited. Idk what is happening out there!

Reading bios on Blue Sky is so funny - it’s always like NO CRYPTO STRIPPER SEX DMS I am HAPPILY MARRIED also RESIST

Half is my fave distance! But I’m not fast at all 😂

Yep!

I did my 20 mile run today and absolutely ate pavement at mile 15, like completely busted my ass, but! I am so lazy, so absurdly lazy, that I just finished the final 5 of the run with my bloody knee and hands bc running 15 a different day just to get to 20 sounded worse

TW knee pic in replies

Can anyone who has seen wicked for good give me the lowdown on appropriateness for my wicked obsessed 5yo

These are peak bobs burgers fr

Omg keep me posted!! I’m invested now lol

It’s so funny to see people ANALYZE why Trump fawned over Zohran Mamdani and it’s literally because he’s an old man who watches news TV all day and the man from the TV came to see him which was very exciting

Omg I forgot these dudes!! Good luck!!

Me, driving home from Thanksgiving where my kids ate so much: okay, bedtime when we get home

My kids: aren’t you going to give us dinner

My husband knows my love language (never ever speaking to anyone)

Yes, I am trying to make the best of the fact that I don’t have a full time job right now. Maybe I was a little too good at it.

No, it is not ever a “privilege” or a “vacation” to not have a job and need one

The bat signal is up

They run in packs

It’s like a tailored suit in tech, the QZ is always appropriate