Thank you, Jeanne. I hope you're doing well, your writing is going good, and that you're maybe still excited for my words <3
And thank you to everyone for their immense patience. I'm sorry to a few new people (hi abbi hi jeanne) for hacing you see this so recently into meeting me.
I hope this hasn't ruined me or my writing for you 🫂
Thank you Puppy. I understand you're here for life, but it's scary getting used to that 🫂
Have a tough convo coming up though, and that's still scaring me. Might be quiet today but I’ll keep promoting Chapter 9 of Sent Stranded despite my fears. I'm proud of that one and have a fun QR easter egg for it to post.
does anyone want to see beasts 🥺 they're getting colored today 🥺
Getting there. Getting some writing help from Mira since she is a lot more experienced writing the specific kind of horror in Chapter 10. I'm hopeful that will go well, and I can have the early access patrons fed some time tomorrow.
I'm starting to feel a bit better and I'm really sorry for all the mess you had to see
I'm sorry. I'm really trying I just don't know what to do. I'm paralyzed by writing fears and anxiety over losing another close friend and I just don't know what to do.
How do I get out of this mud pit? 🫂
I hope he ends up alright 🫂
Thank you for being so nice Puppy. It just doesn't feel fair that anyone has to see all this from me. I'm trying so hard but I'm not getting any better.
I just don't want to lose everyone again 🫂
I'm just so scared. I don't want to lose everyone. I don't want my writing to fail either.
I just want to avoid hurting you all again. This has already probably ruined me for everyone 🫂
It just feels like I don't actually matter to anyone
It's just getting harder to trust that being around and trusting people can work. Good people leave because I hurt them. It seems like I've been completely forgotten for someone better and it just.
I can't keep being this talentless, panicked waste everyone can leave without as much as a shrug
I should be able to do it myself though. I should be capable of writing well without having to hinge on four other people to save it from being slop.
I should be able to isolate and do everything myself because otherwise everyone just gets hurt 🫂
It is to me. If my best is just a mediocre skeleton I'm not doing enough for people to care 🫂
I just know I'll ruin it, be with mediocre writing or mediocre behavior. I know I'll hurt her.
I don't want to hurt anyone anymore 🫂
I'm sorry for if and when my writing and personality disappoint you 🫂
Is this and completely failing with Chapter 10 not disappointing enough 🫂
Repetition. It's just how everything goes. I fail creatively. I fail socially. Everyone leaves
I'm sorry. I just know I'm going to disappoint you. Be that creatively, personally or just with all this
I'll disappoint Jeanne fast. She barely knows me and hasn't even gotten to read my shit and already got to see I'm terrible.
I don't know if I'm worth any support when I'm this forgettable
This wouldn't have been a problem if Dezz was doing stuff with them instead, but I stole them
I feel it's like an exhumed corpse. It just doesn't have any meat and I don't know how to add it. It's horrifically rough even after doing my best.
It's not good enough
And you'll hop off the ride when I hurt you or when my writing turns to shit like it has in chapter 10 🫂
I'm sorry 🫂
I don't really know if I've ever offered anything. I think I just tricked people
She said that too. Everyone does until they leave. I'm sorry I'll ruin everything and hurt you until I do
Please. You know better writers and people who don't do this 🫂
She said that too and I ruined it. I always do I'm sorry
I'm sorry. You're a wonderful person you don't deserve that
I'm scared nothing good is left 🫂
