Melbourne has been voted the most liveable city in the world. It’s the trams, isn’t it? Yep, no worries at all, we’re happy to take full credit, you can thank us later when you touch on. This place would be a dump without #YarraTrams, we’re what makes this place awesome.
Some of you humans question why I look different from time to time. Well here’s my secret, I print a clone of myself each day, so I stay young and fresh. But sometimes the filament colours I use change due to unavailability. So stop questioning me and get me a kebab. ~Depot Cat
#YarraTrams is proud to be the major sponsor of the Melbourne Coffee League. Tonight sees the Brunswick Hipsters taking on the Beach Road Cyclists, and tomorrow cross town rivals the Western Teenage Mums battle it out with the East Melbourne Brunchers. Be there for the fist sip.
You’re running late as usual we see.
Throwback Thursday: X2.678 c.1960, in Footscray about to run a service to the then Western Oval.
Footscray is now the Western Bulldogs, the oval now the Whitten Oval, and the tram service ended in 1962. Now if only we could end tram services to all footy grounds. #YarraTrams
With the footy season about to begin for realsies, why not join the #YarraTrams Footy Tipping Comp?
Simply tip in order which games will have the most unruly passengers and delays, and you could win two tickets to catch a tram to the AFL Grand Final! Wowwee!!!!
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone who needs to be issued a refund. They are hoping that you’ll be so happy to get the money back, that you’ll spend it on doughnuts for them as a thank you. If you don’t, they’ll fine you for being an unruly passenger. #YarraTrams
We’ve learned our lesson from when we last entered the Birdman Rally, and have tinkered with our design. To be the Birdman, first you must be the bird. So we’ve fitted out our flying tram with 1,000 pigeons. This is going to be great! #YarraTrams
Apparently today is International Women’s Day. We didn’t know about it because the Missus never told us. How are men meant to remember frivolous things like this, when we are too busy running the world? It’s not easy being men you know, where’s a day to celebrate us? #YarraTrams
My bad, I did that too early. Now I won’t be able to claim on that big wager I put on with my Bookie. ~Depot Cat
Out of my way Verstappen, I need to run Piastri off the road. He owes me a kebab from last year and is yet to pay up. No one steals from me, I do the stealing around here. ~Depot Cat
Today is the International Working Women’s Day (IWWD) rally outside Victorian Trades Hall at 12pm, and we encourage staff to attend to fight for equal rights for all. Ladies please bring a plate. #YarraTrams
This DHL driver today showed us all what the DH stands for, when he thought the tram would swerve out of the way of his van. Lesson learned, we hope, but we doubt it. Thanks for delaying everyone you moron. #YarraTrams
*Photos stolen from Reddit
Throwback Thursday: Some time in the 1980’s a bunch of university students put together a tram for the Moomba parade.
After graduating in Business Administration they helped to acquire the network from public ownership and strip it of all value for our profits. #YarraTrams
#YarraTrams would like to remind everyone that Moomba starts tomorrow. It’s the world’s biggest free festival where people get together to delay trams.
It’s just like when protestors delay trams, except the clowns have face paint, and their hats aren’t made from tinfoil.
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone who doesn’t have a ticket to the Melbourne Grand Prix. You won’t be fined, but you will be recruited to drive trams on the day, because we don’t have enough staff to cover all the services. Green button to go, red to stop. Easy as. #YarraTrams
Autumn is officially here, so for the next three months any tram crash is caused by fallen leaves on the tracks. It has nothing at all to do with inadequate driver training, faulty equipment, or worn out brakes.* #YarraTrams
*excludes collisions taxis
Awww, look how cute my face is when I scratch. See, I’m not fat, I’m fluffy, and totally deserve another kebab for being so cute. Feed me now! ~Depot Cat
Trambassadors will not be operating on Route 57 this evening due to an operational issue (mum forgot to wash their knife proof vests).
For more information about Trambassadors, visit bit.ly/4r0yZvG #YarraTrams
We’ll take the Deepdene Dasher and the Washington Generals in a double thanks.
Summer officially ends tomorrow, so we’ll be switching off all tram air conditioning until December. It’s for environmental reasons or some thinking of the planet excuse, nothing at all to do with cost cutting. #YarraTrams
Free travel for anyone going to see Ed Sheeran in concert. You deserve it for your selfless action by taking one for the team, in your support of a ranga. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: Cable trams running at the corner of Bourke and Spencer Sts in 1895. The tracks were ripped up in 1940, then put back in 1955, then ripped up again this year, but we put the damn things back. When oh when will we ever learn? #YarraTrams
The corner of Bourke and Spencer Streets reopens tomorrow at 5am, after the cement hardens enough to stop the protesters we buried there from breaking through. The last thing Melbourne needs is a bunch of unemployed undead demanding zombie rights for all brain eaters. #YarraTrams
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone who isn’t talking up their footy team’s finals hopes this season. With the new top ten, even Essendon and Carlton are a chance to make it.
Instead of fines, they will be issuing North Melbourne memberships, so get behind your team. #YarraTrams
Hey does anyone else know that the PTV has been Transport Victoria for the last couple of years? Is that why the PTV hasn’t been returning our calls? It certainly can’t be due to how we operate the tram network, after all, we are the best tram operator in Melbourne. #YarraTrams
Human! You have made my kitty litter too deep again. Hurry up and get me out of here! I can’t reach my kebab from here, and something is nibbling on my tail. ~Depot Cat
Did someone call my name? Go away, it’s too early for that. Come back later, like in a year or two. ~Depot Cat
Great idea! Let’s start with deporting Depot Cat.
Please never tell him we said that.
Now that Adelaide have stolen our MotoGP, we need to steal something from them. But given how pathetic their trams are, there really isn’t any point doing it. Instead we’ll make sure they have to tap on when visiting Melbourne, even in the free travel zone. #YarraTrams
