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looking at the stuff i used to force myself to endure in relationships is so insane. the desperate, desperate letters i'd write to convince someone to treat me like a human. thank god for 1. frontal lobe development 2. my therapist 3. ppl who treat me nice/normally & made me realize what normal was

it's very sobering trying to talk to students and like, they literally cannot complete assignments or follow anything i tell them b/c they are functionally illiterate. especially teaching remotely, most of my communication is text oriented. there's almost nothing i can do for them

being literate is genuinely such a blessing that i always took for granted my whole life. reading/writing has pretty much never caused me any difficulty at all, and i never understood what it would mean to not have that

not only do you not respect yourself or your education, but you also do not respect me or my time. you think i am a fucking idiot. it would be so easy if i didn't care and passed them anyways but i do everything in my power to make sure these ppl pay the price.

yeah, you dealt with bad students before, but you were still teaching mostly. now I have to do insane mindgames to reveal students as AI cheaters bc there is no one reliable way to check. full ass adults, willingly going back to school, just to lie and have chatgpt do everything for them.

working in literacy education was so so so much less exhausting before generative AI. feel like more than half of my job now is just being a chatbot detective with students who have no fucking manners or respect for you in the slightest.

make it 3 weeks . im going to work and then logging off to look at leon kennedy all day. whole month of march actually.

theres a lot of good stuff going on in my life but it is quite stressful and busy right now. and rest assured when re9 comes out im fucking locking myself in my room witrh 8 bags of cool ranch doritos and you will not hear from me for 2 weeks

everyone knows we would all be better off if we ate better, exercised more, slept better, had better posture, took more care to rehabilitate problematic joints. but the thing is it is super easy to not do literally any of that, even as you feel your body decay more

does anyone have any advice on how to start taking your health more seriously?? not like, ways to be healthier, but specifically how to actually care or stay motivated and consistent enough to keep up with those healthy habits

im like very patriotic but only for california

all things considered this job is like pretty easy and cozy compared to some other gigs but god like. the mental toll of dealing with these students sometimes 😭

students love to message me 400x a day being like When Can we Meet WHen can we Meet. and then i respond and am like we can meet during these times or my office hours. and then they do not respond or come to my office hours

they are emailing me asking me to send them the assignments we've talked about all week. we are in college. you have to have some level of responsibility on your own i cannot walk you guys through everything!!!!!!! there are over a HUNDRED of you

like i really do want to help but i dont even know where to start when these students are in an online class and dont even know how to copy and paste links. i do not know how to get you up to speed when that is like, the minimum barrier of entry for understanding anything we do

i really do try to be a sympathetic helpful teacher but i do not know how to virtually help my students who are more technologically illiterate than my dad when we are in a completely online class that requires you to operate a computer and google docs

buying a car when you have ocd (cant make any kind of big definitive decisions because What if)

i could get a cheaper car. and it could last just as long . and what if i pay more and the toyota still dies. ugh . i was gonna get a sedan but ive been thinking about how nice itll be to have a compact suv for moving stuff

shopping for a car ... do i pay the honda or toyota tax or not

i just would caution against seeing diagnoses as a "true," single, innate thing with innate biological mechanisms, bc we really dont understand all that much. what i really mean is stop fucking parroting that "caffeine actually works the opposite on adhd people" shit

and i personally would not be so trusting of an institution that would have locked me away 100 years ago, and even today is still the sponsor of many mental hospitals that barbarically abuse their patients

very few people get any kind of objective imaging/testing data on their brain and right now most of our psychiatric diagnostic ability is equivalent to trying to diagnose the difference between lung cancer/bronchitis/copd/etc based on cough observation alone, with no further hard data testing

its rly interesting how many people take psychiatry as an Absolute and believe in these really hard-set things about the neurology and biology of mental diagnoses

it wouldnt be for a while but im lowkey giddy as fuck about the idea of getting to do this program and working in this sector

found a masters program that im actually really really interested in and excited about!! the program isn't absurdly competitive AND if i got in i could get free tuition

i wish i wasn't part physically disabled cuz i would honestly love to just work some physical labor job where i don't talk to anyone and do repetitive tasks all day. my current job is like fine but i get so stressed interacting with annoying selfish ppl-- craving low interaction, repetitive work

i just never thought i'd get to a point like this. i have been struggling with ocd and health issues and self hate for so long that i never thought i'd just have a day this nice, that i'd get to be loved and treated like this. maybe i can have a life, even with everything terrible that goes on

i had the absolute most wonderful christmas. cried several times today bc i just felt so happy and lucky to be loved so dearly and to get to share my love with others 🥹

the general poster culture on this site kinda sucks but i will take it over being on a site thats filled w/ bots & nazis and makes me feel like im getting brain damage

and while we're on this topic what the hell is up with announcing games like 3 years before they're even gonna release! shareholder shit i guess? if the game requires that much work id rather them extend the release date and announce later rather than requiring crunch