James Gordon ~ Writer

Buying some rubbers at Costco today.

Not to brag, but they’re rated for heavy loads.

A Georgia gun law allows people to openly carry a rifle in an airport, so long as they don’t try to go through security.

This gentleman is carrying a semiautomatic weapon with an extended capacity 100-round magazine.

No one has the courage to tell him his fly is halfway un-zipped.

Then they came for the Big Boys
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Big Boy

Going through my storage locker today and I found my old grade school lunchbox from 1972!

Heartbroken after hearing the news of her daughter Carrie Fisher's death, Debbie Reynolds willed herself to die the very next day, saying in her final hours that she “wanted to be with Carrie".

I immediately called my mother telling her "If I I pass away before you I need a three day head start!"

White smoke is waifting across the skies of Rome. The conclave is over…

Ryan Seacrest has been named the 267th Pope.

My Facebook page was hacked a few weeks ago.

Because the hackers writing was much more compelling and entertaining than my own (with zero typos!), and his stories were consistently receiving more likes and shares than anything I've ever written... I've decided not to report it.

I am thankful that I can afford many luxuries, such as fancy store bought Soylent Green.

Growing up poor, I remember my grandmother in her kitchen, late at night, making it from scratch.

Well, I guess it’s not a myth after all...

The white ones really are smaller.

There is an egg shortage on Maui.

After hearing that someone had egged a neighbors Tesla Cybertruck, the community organized a manhunt to apprehend the offender - just to ask where they had found a store that had eggs!!!

Did you know female protesters under 35 are being paid 90% of their male counterparts protest pay?

In fact, after age thirty-five, the median earnings for female protestors are typically 76-81 percent of what men are paid.
#equalpayforequalprotest
#protestforequalprotestpay

New Trump Tariff Tactic: Deport the pet eating Springfield Ohio Haitians to penguin populated Heard and McDonald islands.

Bon Voyage and Bon Appetite! 🐧🍴🇭🇹

As of April 5th, 2025 CNBC.com has surpassed Pornhub.com as the number one way to watch Americans getting screwed.

This is my girlfriend's kitchen drawer.

The only place you'll find more Tongs is in the Hong Kong phone book.

For an airline which allegedly has the most air rage incidents and airport ticket counter riots (do a YouTube search)... maybe it’s time to rethink having your branding colors match police crime scene tape?

Southwest Airlines is eliminating its legendary Open Seating policy.

I am happy because picking one of the last two empty middle seats on a full 5 hour flight was like choosing between a suppository or an ointment.

"What's that you say?
How long until we land in Bali?!
This plane is going to RALEIGH!”

Brilliant product placement strategy: Kudos to Renters Guide!

I'm watching "Life of Pi" and realizing my first marriage was eerily similar to the plot of this film.

I too, was stuck on a sinking ship with someone wearing fur who wanted to kill me

Then and Now: The Property Brothers first TV appearance was years ago on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy".