Brolympus (@brolympus) — Bluesky Profile

9 months ago

Strava Workout Title...Translation
S: Morning Run...T: I'm lazy
S: Epic trail run...T: I don't get out much
S: Miles with Dave...T: Dave is slow
S: Chasing Susie...T: I am slow
S: Easy Pub Run...T: I'm an alcoholic
S: Beautiful Morning...T: I am totally out of shape

#running #strava #marathons #metatext #metarun

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10 months ago

It only counts if it's on Strava. So if your coach tells you to take a rest day and you accidentally run 12 miles at tempo pace, just don't post it and you'll be fine

#running #marathons #coaches #ThisisWhatYour300BucksAMonthPaysFor

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11 months ago

Oval sticker which reads "37.4", and then says "This is a random number, I'm just messing with you" in small print

New idea for a sticker! Guaranteed to drive your runner / triathlete friends absolutely bonkers! #running #marathons #triathlon #psyops

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11 months ago

Every year about this time I think I might want to take up running. Then I say to myself, "That's not even a good April Fools joke."

#running #april_1 #marathons #serious_business

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1 year ago

Garmin Training Status
Unproductive: You ran an easy 6-miler
Strained: Didn't sync your activity correctly
Detraining: You crushed a 20-miler
Productive: Not used
Peaking: You are home sick in bed

#running #garmin #TrainingStatus #PerfectlyLogical

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1 year ago

Cyclists: If your ride ends at 26.2 miles, make sure to round up to 27 so you don't get mistaken for a runner on Strava

#cycling #marathon #Strava #TheForbiddenNumber

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1 year ago

Don't forget to download your Strava 352 days in sport today. Tomorrow all you can get is a boring 353 days in sport.

#running #strava #NotQuiteYearInSport #hurry

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1 year ago

Some estimates suggest that as many as 90% of triathletes are killed in shark attacks

#triathlon #swimming #sharks #p<1

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1 year ago

Running one marathon probably won't kill you -- but why take the chance?

#running #marathons #death #lemmings

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1 year ago

Running in the rain puts hair on your chest -- so be careful out there, ladies!

#running #weather #chesthair #waitforasnowday

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1 year ago

#running #dieting #WillRunForFood

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1 year ago

Every ounce of shoe weight slows you by 2 seconds/mile. So train wearing lead boots and you will *fly* on race day!

#running #shoes #speed #OrMaybeHeliumShoes

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1 year ago

It pays to use a good training plan. I've heard elite athletes find their plans by searching on Pinterest

#running #training #plans #pinterest #SocialNetworkingPro

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1 year ago

Racing etiquette: Make sure your headphones are loud enough for the other runners around you to hear

#running #marathons #headphones #ThemeFromRocky

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1 year ago

No, as I've said many times! It only destroys your plantar fascia, your Achilles tendons, your hamstrings, your back, and your IT bands.

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1 year ago

A study says running more than 4 hours a week is counterproductive. If more Olympians took that advice we'd see a LOT of world records!

#running #olympics #training #science

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1 year ago

Black running outfits are slimming. I especially recommend them for night runs!

#running #diets #ninja #theneworange

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1 year ago

Finished your 5k Turkey Trot? Congrats, you earned that post-race donut! Unfortunately now you're going to have to run 26.2 more miles to earn Thanksgiving dinner

NEW Brolympus! #running #turkeytrot #thanksgiving #donuttrot

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1 year ago

Losing weight is easy when you follow the latest fad diet. A little lipo never hurt either!

#running #health #dieting #OzempicFTW

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1 year ago

I mean, is it really even running?

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1 year ago

Tips for chatting with runners: You can never go wrong with "You ran 6 miles? What are you, Forrest Gump?"

#running #runners #forrestgump #onlyrunswhenchased

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1 year ago

What working person has time to train an hour every day for a marathon? Also did you see Fallon last night? Hilarious!

#running #marathons #priorities #entertain_me

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1 year ago

When skipping an out-and-back segment of a race, use the time you save to work on your "How *dare* you accuse me of cheating!" stare

#running #marathons #cheating #everyoneelseisdoingit

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1 year ago

It is.

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1 year ago

If your toenails haven't yet fallen off, you probably need your running shoes refitted

... but please DO NOT post toenail photos! #running #trailrunning #shoes #toenails #havesomedecency

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1 year ago

When you run in the snow it's not really exercise. People who do it are just showing off.

#running #showoffs #winter #brrrr

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1 year ago

When reading a scientific paper, make sure to stop as soon as your pre-existing beliefs are confirmed

#running #science #obvious #whowouldnt

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1 year ago

Swimming more than 3000 meters is so dangerous that no human has ever gone that far

#triathlon #ironman #impossible

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1 year ago

After 30 minutes running your knees will fill with fluid and cause permanent damage

#running #injuries #facts

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1 year ago

Everyone should always carry a 30-ounce jar of vaseline when they run. I get a LOT of chafing!!!

#running #marathons

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