Geri Dudley: The Skeets of Laredo

Neil Patrick Harris once played the Balladeer/John Wilkes Booth in Stephen Sondheim’s “Assassins”

I’ve only managed to catch like 42 years of it so far. Only 37 where I’ve been paying super close attention.

If it happens, i don’t care what time it is, people better be blowing up my phone

Every cheerleader is braver than the Marines

I would like for national political reporters to place a moratorium on “But what will voters in the rest of America think about New York City’s socialist mayor?” We don’t care! Red states are notably full of psycho politicians yet rarely do you see pundits asking Brooklyn people about them.

I’ve known many a pastor with a drinking problem worse than Ozzy’s.

No idea if it persists but it was apparently very common parlance at the time. Food service can be racist as hell.

When I briefly worked at a restaurant in Texas I learned servers had a code word for tables which were all Black people. They would say they had a table of “Canadians.”
When I figured out what they were talking about (and this was over twenty years ago) I was like uhhh 😬

SongShift did *okay* for me, but it didn’t have a 100% match rate. In fairness I have very eclectic taste in music. Also Apple Music is supposed to have a playlist import feature built in now, but I have not used it

There is no character who cannot be reclaimed, it all depends on the story, and now I absolutely wanna read your Punisher story, holy heck

Every second of this is perfect

.

I know there’s precedent in myth or whatever but fucking WHAT

whyyyyyyyyyy is this how I found out there are people who will try to fucking BREASTFEED wildlife???

What in the absolute fuck

F U C K I N G W H A T

W H A T

w h a t

What about Prick Cheney

So wild to see a candidate be this good at promotion and also have some very solid policy positions

We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.

Me: If I do this, brain, are you going to be able to focus on what we've actually got to do?
Brain: Maybe!
Me: 😑

The way I'm like "okay brain, we've got stuff to do, let's go" and my brain is like "okay but you haven't finished reviewing all the song matches from porting your Spotify playlists over to Apple Music yet" and I'm just like ...

More. Cops. Don’t. Help. Tim.

What even are jokes anymore when we are living in season seventeen of Veep these days

Guess who just bawled their eyes out during a vidchat therapy session in a travel plaza parking lot 💅

The cognitive dissonance of working customer service and/or retail has almost been enough to tear my brain apart.

I cannot imagine what it’s like for someone with a job like THAT.