Mariana Z

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars walk into a bar.....

They didn’t planet that way.

Boss: we’re gonna be doing random drug testing

Me: okay but I won’t try crack

Me: “I need some sick time, I’ve got a case of anal glaucoma.”

Boss: “Anal Glaucoma, what’s that?”

Me: “I can’t see my ass coming to work tomorrow.”

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer.

Plus it's fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer.

Plus it's fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "are all of those kids yours?"

He replies, " no. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "are all of those kids yours?"

He replies, " no. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention dressed as a doctor.

The security guard suspected that I wasn't the Real McCoy.

Do I love my coworkers?

No.

But are they good at their job and make my life easier at work?

Also no.

My wife works at the zoo.
I think she's a keeper

I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention dressed as a doctor.

The security guard suspected that I wasn't the Real McCoy.

My wife works at the zoo.
I think she's a keeper

I was walking through a quarry and I said to the foreman, "That sure is a big rock." "Boulder," he corrected me.

So I stuck out my chest and shouted,
"THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!"

😂😂😂

Happy to help 😂😂

Hey!!

Share away

It was for a math problem

I know a few people who fit into that category

I was walking through a quarry and I said to the foreman, "That sure is a big rock." "Boulder," he corrected me.

So I stuck out my chest and shouted,
"THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!"

Sorry, I haven't gotten anything done today.

I've been stuck in the produce department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

Sorry, I haven't gotten anything done today.

I've been stuck in the produce department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

If a priest blesses an avocado, does it then become Holy Guacamole?

Did you know that birthdays are good for your health?

Studies show that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Did you know that birthdays are good for your health?

Studies show that people who have more birthdays live longer.

😂😂😂

Good morning Blueskyers!! Our houseguest departed for LA this morning, so clean up is in progress and it was a working visit so I've been absent from social media since Wednesday. Lots to catch up on. I'll be posting this apple Beehive Cake today. How has everyones weekend gone??

That looks amazing!!!