Tilskatoff🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Grainy reflection of a dark haired woman in a mirror.

Just freaked myself out looking at a photo from today thinking I'd caught a shadow person on camera.

Zoomed in and it's just me in a reflection, looking one step away from Sadako in 'The Ring'.

Thankyou, I will be giving them a good scrubbing when I get home.

A Barbie doll's face looking wide eyed in mild surprise and disgust

There was a man opposite me on the tube wearing tiny little jogging shorts. He was man-spreading SO expansively, I feel I could have given him a comprehensive testicle health-check from a metre away.

And no, I wasn't staring...they seemed to be in my field of vision matter where I looked.

A pint of lager sitting in a pub window.

After a truly shitty week, I'm now primed and ready to spend the afternoon feeding my soul by laughing lots...and potentially coughing like a Victorian with consumption.

Not 100% sure that attending a podcast festival when I have an awful cough triggered mostly by laughter is the best idea.

My bag is packed with cough sweets and I'll sit near an exit in case I need to cough up a lung and make a swift exit.

a little girl in a pink dress is sitting at a table and making a face . ALT: a little girl in a pink dress is sitting at a table and making a face .

Slightly odd cashier in the Co-op (who is basically Tim Key's character in Plebs) misheard what I said about broccoli and enthusiastically asked me what type of dog I had.

I could have put him straight but chose instead to tell him all about the imaginary dog I don't actually have. Of course.

If ever there was a song equivalent to a clammy, weak handshake, or a wet fart,..... it's Mr fucking Wendal.

Great place. I'll be in your office on Sunday.

Scene from Crackerjack with the presenter standing next to a child, completely overloaded with toys and random items to the point where you can't even see his face.

Visual representation of my crushing workload. Think it's time to look for a new job.

Oh God yes,...how that hate-riddled bag of skin keeps dodging the scythe I'll never know.

Why is the Grim Reaper taking all the good and decent people who have actually contributed to the world when there's a fat orange fuck in Washington and a rat-faced shit-bag in Moscow more than ripe for the picking?!

Leave the good'uns alone!

A woman doing a face.....the one we all did at school where you put your tongue in front of your lower teeth, pushing your chin out and flicking the finger.

This is always what I imagine ChatGPT is doing behind the scenes when I attempt to explain my latest Excel formula problem in long, garbled paragraphs and it summarises it back to me in less than 10 words.

🎶🎵Here we go again, here we go, go, go to the temple of corruption🎵🎶

Was it the box of vulvas?

A man with a confused expression.

My colleague just told me that a little boy had such an innocent expression that "butter wouldn't melt on his face".

Three glass cases at the Conservative Party Conference. Inside are famous outfits worn by Margaret Thatcher.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks reboot but instead of a load of re-animated suits of armour appearing on the horizon, it's a batallion of Thatcher's old outfits.
Terror ensues, roll credits in stunned silence.

I just tried making these and they were absolutely delicious. Didn't see the tip about the lemon so will add that next time.

Thank you for introducing me to these! Right up my street 😊

It all sounds terrifying and a bit demoralising. My son (also autistic) finishes his A-levels in the Summer. He doesn't want to go to uni and has no idea what he wants to do, so we'll be in a similar position.

Best of luck to your daughter with the search!

America's version of University Challenge looks shit.

Because he's never truly felt the horn?

Whispering, nodding and pointing with immense gravitas when visiting a National Trust property for fear of invoking the disdain of the 80yr old volunteer, whilst simultaneously all avoiding eye contact which may lead to an inescapable conversation about 18th century ceiling mouldings.

An absolute must on the bingo card 😊

This is so true. This is my version of it from 1997. The dated little table, the ancient, filthy sofa you can't quite see and the joyous pile-on to get in frame (you hoped) before the timer went off. Happy days.

I was thinking the exact same thing last night. The amount of mental gymnastics, strength and courage it takes for my autistic kids (and me) to step out into the world every single day+handle it magnificently makes us absolute fucking nails. 💪🏻

A warning message from Twitter saying "Most Tweeters don't post replies like this. We're asking Tweeters to review replies with potentially harmful or offensive language.. Want to take another look before Tweeting?". Below it is the Tweet in question which reads "Oh, 😭 do give it a rest you silly little twat".

While we're all talking about free speech, in 2022 I replied to a Trump-related tweet of Elon Musk and got this warning message.

Another example of "We're allowed to shit on anyone we like but how dare you be mean to ME!".

a young boy wearing a yellow shirt is making a funny face and smiling . Alt: Little boy, slow-blinking to infer the feeling of pissed off sarcasm

Idle thought - the number of schools that are benefitting from highly educated+over qualified women who had their careers torpedoed by parenthood+who ended up having to find work that fits around school hols to handle childcare. I'm one of them and I know a LOT them.

Great for schools though eh?

Keir Starmer wearing an expression that implies a cringe and regret

Oh God, I've just had a first name/surname mix up and sent an email to "Mr Ron" like a low-rent Basil Brush.

Front cover of 'Photographs of the Unknown' - a brilliant book from the 80's that contained all the spookiest of photos pre-Internet days.

Photo of Trump, King Charles and Camilla with Melania standing off the right, dressed in black, staring at the floor with a ridiculous purple hat that obscures her entire face.

There were only three people in the room when this photo was taken.

Mark Zuckerberg putting on his daft Meta glasses.

Me as a 10yr girl sitting on a bench with my arms behind my head wearing some comedy, dark rimmed glasses I'd cut out of my Oink magazine that had cartoon eyes in them. Simpler times.

I was ahead of my time.

I managed to look like a dick for a fraction of the price by getting a free pair of comedy specs with my Oink magazine in 1986. Take that, Zuckerberg.

"I said they are just ordinary people with legitimate concerns, peacefully protesting. What did I say Roy?"
"You said they're a bunch of far right racist twats"