Danielle Ryan

Update: MY SON IS ALIVE AND AS WEIRD AS EVER

I have never felt more attached to a wild animal than I do to that bonkers lil squirrel

They yelled their way into my heart

I haven't seen Lil Guy in 4 days now and I'm worried

If that cat got him I'm going to war

They take it to 11 and don't mind being a bit silly and I love them for that

Ok so
3 and 4 are absolutely ridiculous
But they are FUN
Enjoy

Prison guards rushing to take jobs with ICE. Almost like all of this is connected. I wonder which people have been making this case for a few decades.

Hahaha I asked my co-worker on the first day how he does this and he was like "I just compartmentalize"

He has since become an award-winning crime writer

Haha it's kind of just a personal thing, like case-by-case basis

Some have a TON of followers, some have very few, but if I've been following for awhile and am kind of a fan and get a followback

I was like "holy shit they JUST got home from the hospital maybe no" and he was very displeased and made me do it anyway

I only got their voicemail and I left one very apologetic message lol

OH MY GOD THIS IS VERY SIMILAR TO THE MOMENT THAT MADE ME DECIDE TO QUIT *cough*

Attempted murder of parents by their grown sons and my boss wanted me to blow up their phone for a quote

a close up of a white chihuahua with its mouth open . Alt: a close up of a white chihuahua looking nervous

Every time someone really cool follows me back on here I wonder how long it will take for them to regret that decision

I fixed my Buddha pendant my mom got me when I was 20 and put it back on my chain with my st dymphna that I never take off and

Y'all I sound like I'm wearing dog tags this was not intentional

*puppygirl intensifies*

I have not!

This is America.
Where you can be shot by border patrol just for existing

Also if there are personal hells mine is a city council meeting run by all of my enemies

I only did it for like 4 or 5 months because it was emotionally devastating and I am far too empathetic to work in crime

Oh yeah, in particular I know I was obsessed with Dick Van Dyke and the penguin scene but that may have also been the animation mixed with live action breaking my baby brain

LOL oh I did my share of that kind of reporting when I worked at the local paper

I was the night reporter which meant I covered EVERYTHING that happened while the others were out

Mostly crime and emergencies and city council meetings but occasionally state fairs and stuff

Hahaha ok this one got me
"Personal Jesus" would also be killer

If you're wondering I was talking at about 9 months and didn't walk until around 18 months

And once I started talking I never stopped

My dumb little ass couldn't even walk yet and I was rewatching movies on repeat by choice lol

I mean if you wanna talk about my hyperfixation with media, I used to demand Mary Poppins before I could walk and then I would roll from my carseat on the floor to the vcr, hit rewind when it ended, and roll back

That's SO CUTE
I just wrote little movie reviews on our Mac and printed them out for my family

Sometimes I did news to go with it but no it was all about trying to be Gene Siskel lol

Ok if you want the really cute version I used to write movie reviews on our ancient mac and print them out for my family

The not-cute version is I was working at a country club and my co-worker ran the home video review section of an unpaid site and offered me a gig and that was that sorta

That sounds like some bullshit to me and I'm a non-binary pansexual lol

I started getting mailed screeners and my dad was like "oh my god you're a SOMEBODY" and only kind of but thank you so much dad

Might spend the entire day catching up on FYC screeners and call that combo being productive/self-care

Yeah nah y'all ain't making me watch that

Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me, calling me