Alexandra Petri

no other show is doing it like Jesus Christ Superstar! more shows should have the courage to end with the main character getting crucified while a guy sings a cheery song about how their whole life was a mistake! incredible stuff a banger every time

The National-Park Tours of Trump’s Dreams The rule: Only mention the good parts of American history.

New, Approved National Park Tours!!!

Trump Gets Rid of Those Pesky Statistics The numbers were simply not patriotic enough.

Donald Trump has fired the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The numbers were simply not patriotic enough, and "once these disloyal statisticians are out of the way, the data will finally start to cooperate," @petridishes.bsky.social writes:

Trump Gets Rid of Those Pesky Statistics The numbers were simply not patriotic enough.

Donald Trump Declares Victory Over Statistics

Trump Gets Rid of Those Pesky Statistics The numbers were simply not patriotic enough.

Donald Trump Declares Victory Over Statistics

fumbling in a cloud of vibes and misinformation is good enough for the president and it ought to be good enough for the economy as a whole!

Unbuilt White Houses of the 19th Century Throughout the latter half of the nineteenth century, several major proposals were made to alleviate crowding at the White House by erecting a new residence for the president and converting...

www.whitehousehistory.org/unbuilt-whit...

when I think of the guff that First Lady Caroline Harrison got for wanting to redo the White House with colonnades and ponds

New Detention Numbers Are Out, ICE Still Hiding Data on 'Alligator Alcatraz' At least 56,945 immigrants are held in ICE detention this week, with untold numbers hidden from public view in off-the-books sites in Florida and in field offices across the country.

At least 56,945 immigrants are held in ICE detention this week, with untold numbers hidden from public view in off-the-books sites in Florida and in field offices across the country. open.substack.com/pub/austinko...

oh no! you at least have the perfect joke for this situation, but I wish this had not happened!

How I Came to Be in the Epstein Files A conspiracy wrapped in a conspiracy theory wrapped in an enigma

glad he got to the bottom of this for us

Let’s Ban More Nonexistent Things Some notes for the Clear Skies Act, which seeks to ban weather modification

let’s ban more things that don’t exist

Let’s Ban More Nonexistent Things Some notes for the Clear Skies Act, which seeks to ban weather modification

let’s ban more things that don’t exist

‘Alligator Alcatraz’ Ignores Basic Rights, Lawyers Warn The detention center has already been accused of providing “inhumane” living conditions.

Civil rights lawyers are trying to land a temporary restraining order against Florida’s “Alligator Alcatraz” detention center, alleging that detainees’ constitutional rights are being violated.

How I Came to Be in the Epstein Files A conspiracy wrapped in a conspiracy theory wrapped in an enigma

glad he got to the bottom of this for us

How I Came to Be in the Epstein Files A conspiracy wrapped in a conspiracy theory wrapped in an enigma

A fun read. [Satire]

www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...

See, the problem with email is that, when you email someone, they email you back. Then you have another email to read. Has anyone looked into this problem?

Mass starvation stalks Gaza as deaths from hunger rise Aid agencies warned for months that Israel’s harsh limits on food aid would bring acute malnutrition and widespread suffering to Gaza’s 2.1 million people.

Gaza faces a severe humanitarian crisis as Israeli restrictions on aid lead to widespread malnutrition and starvation, with hospitals overwhelmed by malnourished children.

let’s go Tiafoe!!

Great column, as always. Ugh, what a loss for Post readers.

Are You Laughing Yet? Everyone can say exactly what they want, free of the fear of censorship, except by the government.

Always read @petridishes.bsky.social

Are You Laughing Yet? Everyone can say exactly what they want, free of the fear of censorship, except by the government.

remember comedy? that thing from the 1980s where you hate your wife? its back!!!

Thrilled to be joining @newrepublic.com. Very excited to work with @monicapotts.bsky.social, @alexshephard.bsky.social, @mjtoma.bsky.social and so many writers and editors I have long admired.

Are You Laughing Yet? Everyone can say exactly what they want, free of the fear of censorship, except by the government.

comedy is legal again, folks!

Are You Laughing Yet? Everyone can say exactly what they want, free of the fear of censorship, except by the government.

"We’re in a golden age of comedy now where everyone can say exactly what they want, free of the fear of censorship, except by the government," @petridishes.bsky.social writes:

Just a Tiny, Minuscule Technicality About the People Held at ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ How to tell if someone is a criminal, according to the Department of Homeland Security

irony has been dead a while but I’m still appalled that the DHS had the temerity to suggest that it’s fine they caged more than 250 people with no criminal records because those people were probably secretly “human rights abusers” www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...

William F. Buckley's Bill Never Came Due | Defector Perhaps the highest praise I can offer a book that took 27 years to complete and runs over 1,000 pages is that I can see why, and that it doesn’t feel like it. Sam Tanenhaus’s extremely long and anxio...

for Bills Week I decided to read the new 1000 page Buckley biography

Just a Tiny, Minuscule Technicality About the People Held at ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ How to tell if someone is a criminal, according to the Department of Homeland Security

irony has been dead a while but I’m still appalled that the DHS had the temerity to suggest that it’s fine they caged more than 250 people with no criminal records because those people were probably secretly “human rights abusers” www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...

How to Tell If Someone Is a Criminal (According to the DHS) “Except for the tiny, tiny, minuscule quibble that we have no evidence they’ve done any crimes, these people deserve to be locked up.”

Except for the tiny, tiny, minuscule (I hate to even mention it) quibble that we have no evidence they’ve done any crimes, these are the worst of the worst

What a loss for the Post. Thanks for everything you write. Excited to keep following you! Very sorry that this is how you’re taking time off but you do absolutely deserve some time off!