Danny Salter

I've had three very similiar conversations down the pub over the last month:

"Oy, Salter! I tried watching one of your videos the other day."
"Really? Did you like it?"
"Nah, I switched it off after five minutes."
"Umm...okay."

Not sure how I'm supposed to respond to that?

My latest script for Decoding The Unknown should surface in the next few hours.
But who's this unlikely character?
(Not the guy on the right.)

I keep accidentally drinking the pots of ink so the scrolls and quills are no good.

I’m saving up for a new typewriter after I lost the old one in a high-stakes game of ‘Hungry Hippos.’
So until the end of January, I’m offering a 10% discount at my ‘Basement Booty’ store at dannysalter.com

Just enter the code COCAINE at Checkout to active the discount.

YouTube video by Scandal Yet Another Scandalous British Life Peer

Jeffrey Archer:
A charming genius, a trailblazing politician, a talented best-selling writer, a lovable rogue, or just a massive bellend?
My latest script for Scandal delves into the bizarre life and times of Baron Archer of Weston-super-Mare, otherwise known as Tuppence.

youtu.be/EB44ZY2VVMw?...

YouTube video by Scandal How Rolf Harris Fooled Britain...

youtu.be/Pw_FI3TYTdU?...

YouTube video by Decoding the Unknown Was ANY of Braveheart Accurate?

youtu.be/BPs2TC9qb5Q?...

Two new scripts this week!
On DTU, we look at why the 1995 film ‘Braveheart’ might not be entirely accurate and ponder over how much it really matters anyway.

Over on ‘Scandal’, we examine the fall from grace of Rolf Harris which apparently had nothing to do with his cover of ‘Stairway to Heaven’.

The next video to land on Decoding the Unknown has something to do with Mel Gibson, a blind minstrel, and how a talking pig was cruelly denied it's rightful Academy Award.

A cheery outlook and a cheeky grin!

VIDEO NASTY!
My new script for the 'Scandal' channel lands very soon.
It takes a look at the censorship panic that engulfed the UK in the early 1980s, as batty old-aged pensioners led a revolt against the sickening vile filth that was turning our kids into monsters.
Viewer discretion is advised.

Hopefully I'd be contributing as the writer rather than the victim.

After a month of living back in Rotherham, I've just found secret passages in our new house.
This is EXACTLY what I dreamed about my whole life.

Happy 2nd birthday to Woody Salter!
We spent the morning chasing squirrels, and tonight we're baking rhubarb crumble.

Sky Customer Services:
"Please rate our AI Customer Agent out of ten and give us any feedback on how the experience could be improved."

Me:
"0/10. I would have been better off trying to conduct my business with a fucking pot plant."

I should have a new Casual Criminalist landing tomorrow.
I can't remember all the details now but I think it had something to do with a double murder in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

"It's better to piss in the sink than to sink in the piss."
Socrates, 420 BC.

According to my Sinclair Pocket Calculator, I've gone for at least 6,205 dog walks in my lifetime.
Still yet to find a single dead body.

Due later today: My latest script for Decoding the Unknown salutes the forgotten fallen cosmic trailblazers who were wiped from history.

My first script for the new ‘Scandal’ channel, presented by Jake Clapham!
This one takes a look at the daytime TV show tragedy in which the greaseball host failed to follow his own manifesto by manning up and growing a pair.
youtu.be/vNiYmOdwFg0?...

I can't deal with Operation.
When I was a kid, my dad had to take out the buzzer thing.

I'm moving back home to the old haunted mining town of Rotherham next month.
I can't remember the exact reasons why, but I think it had something to do with losing a particularly intense game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.

"Cornflakes for breakfast this morning. Slasher Spencer got loads more than me as usual.
Finally got freed from prison after 38 years because they realised they’d got the wrong guy.
What a flippin’ palaver! It could only happen to me!
Buy some new underpants.”

New Casual Criminalist coming soon...

A new video will be broadcast on 'Decoding the Unknown' later today.
Please listen carefully and follow all instructions.
Seal your windows. Block your doors.
The voice of Simon Whistler will be the last you ever hear.
Do not be alarmed.

I'm about halfway through my autobiography "Forty Years of Wretched Sobbing."
What name would you give to your autobiography?

Alex Jones gets a lot of stick, but I'll say one thing in his defence.
He was the first to really start talking about the interdimensional clockwork elves.

Ohh! Might have found it. The Communism Video.

I might still have been in short trousers.

Did I write a video on Marx? What was it called?

This DNA profiling lark might not be half as clever as they reckon.
When a direct match with a DNA profile was recently found to shed new light on an unsolved murder case from 1984, the fresh suspect had an alibi which is about as rock solid as they come...
More details in the Casual Criminalist!