Chanelle-Lize Marshall

my phone’s hidden photo collection is full of hyperfocus gifs that are just easier not to have to explain

Back in September, I informed everyone that I was in a bad situation that was only getting worse. The community offered such overwhelming support during an incredibly difficult time. I mentioned in the last fundraiser that I would continue to need assistance, but figuring out a way to facilitate that was difficult. I felt the only solution would be to raise money seasonally until I either lucked into a well-paying job or found a way to meet my needs without finances. As you all know, SNAP benefits will be cut off in November. It feels like every moment I get to breathe, something else happens and I have to scramble to survive. Trying to keep up with my job and constantly face the reality that my life is one emergency from homelessness has been demoralizing in so many ways. I am providing an update for my situation: With SNAP benefits being cut off, I will not be able to afford food without help. Even with local food banks and distribution resources, this is impacting thousands of families across the city, and resources will be stretched incredibly thin for the holiday season. I still need assistance so I can afford basic toiletries, menstrual supplies, and rent. As said in my last post, I have been officially diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and have spent the past year attempting to recover from CPTSD. In short, I have multiple disorders stemming from multiple traumatic situations and incidents that have occurred to me over the course of my life, but especially in the last decade. Thanks to Medicaid, I am fortunate enough to have 2 different therapists and a psychiatrist. As of (9/11/2025) I do not wish to share details beyond this. Do not speculate about my personal life. While I have sought out healthcare for my chronic pain, my arthritis has worsened significantly because of the stress I am under. Life has become substantially more difficult because of the adjustment to constant pain. It is a struggle to cook meals for myself & my household.

I have been at risk of homelessness since July, and that situation has not changed. I have a job, but I do not make nearly enough to support myself through survival. I have found an opportunity to make some spare income locally, but this will not go into effect until December, and will not be consistent as it is gig-based. I have been looking for jobs that are accommodating to my disability, with no luck as most of them require relocation or hybrid work environments. I have opened commissions of various types - including video editing, art commissions and tarot readings - but my commissions aren’t consistent enough for me to build a stable income off of. I am behind on commission based work because of my pain and the above circumstances. I will not be accepting commissions that need to be immediately fulfilled until further notice. I have dropped out of multiple TTRPG projects because of the above circumstances. The community within the TTRPG space I have is very important to me, but I feel I cannot keep up with anyone because I am constantly fighting for survival. I have remarked that I feel unseen, and it is because I feel like I have to be entertaining for people to care about me as a human being. I don’t enjoy having to list my marginalizations for people to have empathy (I honestly feel like I shouldn’t have to share them) but in this current political climate, it is exceedingly dangerous for me to be one emergency away from being on the streets. I’m not making enough to cover my living expenses, and to try and ignore my circumstances in favor of playing TTRPGs or videogames would be completely detrimental to my survival. To everyone who has supported me the past few years - I deeply appreciate you. Whether you liked and shared my art, enjoyed my performance on an AP, or commented on any of my work, every bit of support I have cherished and treasured. There have been many of you who have donated to me out of kindness, and I feel like I can’t thank you al…

Living in the duality of trying to be entertaining enough for people to care while going through hard times & trying to maintain a positive disposition has been so difficult.

Here is an update on my personal situation, health and survival.

Fundraiser:
🪷 gofund.me/b9dc07bb3

jesus, I'm so scared for Jamaica.

I have ADHD.

Once I lost my phone during a power outage at night and I was looking for it in the dark with a flashlight for like fifteen minutes until I realized the flashlight I was using was my phone.

wracking my brain trying to remember Katie’s (@aabria.bsky.social’s character on Private Nightmares) last name only to realize

1) I didn’t actually know it yet

2) it’s exactly the same as my last name

feels like losing my phone for an hour only to realize it was in my back pocket the whole time

I got really upset so I took a nap and woke up still understanding that the issue I was upset about is a serious issue but not awash with cortisol about it.

I feel like I did close up magic on myself and it somehow still worked even though I know what I did.

i am throwwwing shit across the room lmao

I am actually fine, I'm just making fun of myself for getting so up in arms over tarot haha

hey jsyk if you get mad and yell "OKAY FINE WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME" the cards will tell you and you will get so much angrier about it :))))))

hey wassup. what you doing? ;)

oh me? i am littterrralllyyy kicking my feet throwing a temper tantrum over a tarot reading right now haha :)))

it's fine i'm fine everything's fine

I changed my mind about having a stage name. 🙂

"i don't need to roll out my yoga mat to do a quick little back bridge," she said

and then she bonked her crown chakra on the hardwood floor

hell yessssss

new stage name just dropped
hi nice to meet you I'm Chanelle-Lize Antoinette

(I'm using my middle name in place of my surname because it's so fancy and I am also so very very fancy. 🙂)

💖 THANK YOU but actually not as unrelated as you think!! I stopped anxiously pressing my tongue into the roof of my mouth and now my selfies hit different. The Universe, I'm TELLING you.... 👀

this was a wild way to learn what coochie sugaring is

If you don't listen, the universe gon give you something to cry about. Don't ask me how I know that. 😭

I’ve worked with kids for too long. Anytime I see people affectionately nuzzle their heads together, my brain screams, “LICE!”

Today, someone asked me who my fav BG3 character is and I started explaining that I didn’t actually know much about the characters because I’ve never played and then my bisexuality kicked in and I blurted “KARLACH!” like a woman possessed.

Mm-mm, no, you’re thinking of Abner Doubleday.

A duvet is an impressive display or an orderly (sometimes sequential) arrangement.

So, if I needed help funding my first tuition payment for acting school, what advice would you give me on going about doing that?

Hypothetically speaking. 👀

(This is me being bad at asking for help but doing it anyway because my tarot spread yelled at me about it.)

A photo of the moon in a dark sky with warm orange clouds overlaid with white text that says, “Today, wherever I go, I will create a peaceful, loving, joyful world.”

thank you to everyone who helped, I was able to scrape it together and pay my rent!!! unfortunately it was down to my last dollar so…anything still helps!

I want

a

Beer

I forgot about Crystal Castles for yeaaaars man what

I was trying to think of a word that ends in “o” and I blurted out “pareizo.” I couldn’t remember what it means, so I looked it up.

It’s Latvian?

I do not speak Latvian??

Why was that word in my brain and why did I know how to spell it correctly???

What if I just started my own locs…👀

Uaawhhh, I’ve been feeling bummed about not being able to play until I move, and this makes me feel a bit better 🥹

My mom is cleaning the bathroom downstairs and I can hear her humming “Happy Birthday to You” to herself, apropos of nothing.

If it’s your birthday today, Happy Birthday to you from my mom, I guess?

Ah! Awwwe! 🥹 Thank you!