Jon 🎃

This just sounds like they know they’re horrible but please be nice because they really really tried

Yvette from the film Clue (1985)

“No, I just want to powder my nose”

I take no pleasure in the suffering of others but surely if you moved to Dubai to avoid tax, you can make your own fucking way back

I’ll have you know I’m exquisitely masc

My aura

It’s my aura

I just walked down these stairs, can you tell

No, I mean really creased. Sometimes they had wires in them to keep the creases sharp. Mid 2000s I think

I can only make this work if British spelling and bad grammar is allowed

I’m yet to see an oxide glaze on this show that doesn’t look like the pizza you left in the oven and forgot about for 3 hours

“When water’s trickling down something it just looks better doesn’t it”

The letting agent was having none of that when she saw my kitchen wall in 2008

It’s unnatural and against Jesus probably

The Bruce Willis film?

Troubling behaviour

What are you on, like Windows CE or something

I saw the Trevi fountain once. It was ok. It was back when those really creased shirts were the thing

Another of your alternative facts

I was there first. This is outrageous

Bubbles?

🚨🚨 Pottery Throwdown

The beginnings of a portal to a magical world

You don’t realise how shit your typing is until you try entering a url in the address bar

All I ask is that you try

Pop one up just before to give them a nice surprise

Well you’re quite delicate and sensitive

My colon would rebel

And this is one meal

Please try not to fall in love with me

Cannot deny

Diamonds Are Forever on ITV4