Hey, would you like to sell your baby? Iβve recently had a miscarriage and have been following you on Facebook for a while now. Sheβs so beautiful and well tbh..she looks more like me anyway. I've already given her a nickname and bought things for her.
12.01.2026 19:14 β
π 69
π 15
π¬ 0
π 0
Another murder case solved. Well.. I didn't find the real killer. I blamed a random person. But it's in the solved pile nonetheless.
12.12.2025 22:01 β
π 209
π 74
π¬ 2
π 4
Activia yogurt secured. WOW! Thank you Jamie Lee Curtis
09.12.2025 22:43 β
π 49
π 7
π¬ 2
π 0
I am conducting a research project about the psychology behind cat owners and their special ability to bring up their cat in everyday conversations such as war and famine
06.12.2025 13:13 β
π 49
π 8
π¬ 0
π 1
Mandatory Cyber security training U say ? And what if I donβt want to save the company from a cyber attack..? What if I want it to suffer? Oh fuck.. π«¦
24.11.2025 14:16 β
π 161
π 65
π¬ 2
π 0
Society has such unrealistic beauty standards for women.. Luckily I donβt have to conform to any of them because I am naturally beautiful
17.11.2025 13:44 β
π 62
π 5
π¬ 2
π 0
My new daughter Psoriasis Harvard-Lynn, arrived yesterday..a true unconventional beauty.
(A bit fugly but I am willing to see the beauty in her due to my open mind)β¦
16.11.2025 12:55 β
π 106
π 47
π¬ 1
π 1
My dear. How are you doing ? This is Bethenny (newly qualified receptionist) from the FBI... I know this will be a pleasant surprise to you because you were not expecting it. I have been instructed to release $2,500,000 to you as compensation for your assistance in the past. Call me back..
14.11.2025 11:41 β
π 41
π 4
π¬ 0
π 0
βThe customer is always rightβ has never really been true if you really think about it.. they are never right.. unless I am the customer in question, of course.
13.11.2025 08:02 β
π 56
π 5
π¬ 5
π 1
Officer.. dear, I wasnβt speeding, I was facetiming (fiercely)
07.11.2025 22:40 β
π 66
π 14
π¬ 2
π 0
Hello Ms. Hiring manager..I am thrilled to apply for your PhD program. Ever since becoming a Harvard research scientist at age 9, all while acting, modeling, singing, dancing, professional DJing, and working as a celebrity chef, each experience has helped shape the woman I am today for this role
04.11.2025 20:47 β
π 108
π 23
π¬ 1
π 1
I am working with a team of scientists on creating a cigarette flavored low fat yogurt.
04.11.2025 18:57 β
π 342
π 132
π¬ 6
π 3
In my clinic, we maintain a long-standing tradition where we select a patient at random to beat the shit out of. This initiative has proven invaluable for staff motivation, morale, and workplace productivity .
03.11.2025 19:16 β
π 133
π 49
π¬ 1
π 1
Gwyneth Paltrow I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan
03.11.2025 13:32 β
π 385
π 100
π¬ 3
π 2
Actually - I can still live my life to the fullest without feeling the need to go camping up a mountain.
01.11.2025 10:58 β
π 26
π 7
π¬ 2
π 1
Darlingβ¦a 55-year-old diabetic diva sashays in with visual distortion & a big old dip in vision in one eye.. fluorescein angiography is spilling the tea with leakage from the neovascularization. Whatβs the tea on her diagnosis?
31.10.2025 22:54 β
π 35
π 7
π¬ 2
π 0
Sleeping beauty probably had a yeast infection laying in bed for years, she didnβt get up once to wash her pussy!
31.10.2025 10:07 β
π 36
π 4
π¬ 3
π 0
SpongeBob = neurodivergent, asexual, apolitical, sociophillic, queer platonic, mentally ill, spectrum 2 persona, queer, obsessive compulsive, histrionic persona, subjugation schema, pathological sociofunctionality.
If you donβt get that you really missed the point of the show.
31.10.2025 00:24 β
π 125
π 25
π¬ 1
π 0
I just know Mona Lisa had a tight pussy
30.10.2025 12:27 β
π 33
π 9
π¬ 1
π 0
Iβll fuck the living daylights out of him π«¦
13.10.2025 19:47 β
π 11
π 2
π¬ 0
π 0
I think I might be obsessed with pouring cooking oil down the drain
13.10.2025 16:48 β
π 142
π 86
π¬ 4
π 2
Just got a call and I have been cast in Avengers Doomsday.
I will play the sexy MILF doctor that graduated from Harvard via online classes and became a 6 figure freelance blogger, similar to my real life.
04.10.2025 11:20 β
π 39
π 5
π¬ 1
π 1
Fingering myself
01.08.2025 01:10 β
π 35
π 6
π¬ 0
π 0
Daughter: daddy daddy! why do you have a purse?
Father: because fierce is fierce hunni
Daughter: gaggg
01.08.2025 01:10 β
π 119
π 63
π¬ 1
π 3
A beautiful day outside, sun shining, sky is blue, and suddenly it just dawned on me: this whole
time Queen Elizabeth had a pussy⦠omg
30.05.2025 19:03 β
π 37
π 13
π¬ 0
π 0
is listening to Whoβs That Chick by Rihanna and David Guetta.. Headphones on, world off.
23.02.2025 12:20 β
π 27
π 7
π¬ 0
π 1
I really wish I had some metropolitan ice cream right now .. oh fuck π«¦
13.02.2025 02:23 β
π 30
π 12
π¬ 0
π 0
Yes, the rumours are true, I have sciatica
24.11.2024 01:33 β
π 42
π 17
π¬ 2
π 1