Wick Fields

Gatorade is now claiming it hydrates better than water. Also, I just finished my new screenplay. It’s called “Ass”.

Daniel Jones powers through gingivitis to defeat Falcons.

Every Dio album cover in one.

Post Malone looks like he’s about to talk about falling off a Montana mountian for the 8,004th time. #postmalone #hankwilliamsjr

My new favorite pastime is shaming ChatGPT for straight up lying. If I have to live with this hole inside of me it will too. #ChatGPT #AI

Nothing exists unless he’s looking at it. #trump

Your parents when you tell them you don’t like Nancy Grace.

It’s weird your brain will auto generate fake people to populate your dreams. And they’ll be mixed in with real people. It’s like your subconscious has it’s own literary genre.

Dick Cheney, shooter of other men’s faces and recipient of two DUI’s, dies at 84.

Why I don’t have friends.
#iykyk

“Here’s a guy that can use his arms and legs at the same time.” — John Madden

Is it too late to put together my slutty Harry Caray costume?

How have I never gotten Covid but if you say the words “stomach flu” to me I immediately vomit and pass out?

CAMUS: “The meaning of life is whatever you’re doing that prevents you from killing yourself”

ALL MEN: “Well duh.”

Just started Murdough: Death In the Family. Alex seems like a pleasant fellow.

Yokel was at the bank because he “was locked out of his account ‘cuz his Face ID didn’t work no more”. Homeboy literally went to the bank to fix his phone.

White people should stick to acid.

Charles Dickens was not effing around, by god.

Twain and Dickens had one thing in common, they both wrote children’s stories for adults. That quality has all but disappeared.

Why does Nick Saban look like he did a face plant in a bowl of Cheeto dust?

ESPN playing T. Rex right after Kenny Chesney’s performance puts all of life in perspective. Maybe life is worth living.

So Charles Dickens was doing cold plunges in 1840. He also had a podcast and drank Liquid Death.

This photo just gave you herpes.

The one thing I learned from Rebecca Miller’s Mr. Scorsese is cocaine really works.

“It all ends in tears anyway.” — Jack Keraouc (3/12/1922 ~ 10/21/1969)

That Pina Colada song would’ve been way better if instead of the guy’s wife showing up to the bar at the end it had been the entire Oak Ridge Boys.

Penix couldn’t hit Jupiter if he were standing on it. #nfl

When they say there’s no white culture…

Masked gang steal Napoleon’s jewellery from Louvre Criminals take nine ‘priceless’ pieces from museum’s collection in seven-minute heist

Just when you think humanity ain’t worth savin’…

Georgia Tech 7-0 since the second year of Reconstruction.