𝘚𝘪𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘉𝘢𝘻

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑 #4
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. . . @emerald-sight.bsky.social . . .
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And I held it in. I battled against myself to let it in home, to face my fears, and I won.

. . .

To be honest, I fear I won't be able to win tomorrow.

𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.

But not today.

Today, for the first time in years, I considered taking this gun with me on patrol.

The fear of being powerless, the fear of being unable to do my obligations, the fear of losing who I love.

The fear almost controlled me once again, almost forced me to regress to my old self.
>>

Something I keep to myself is the fact I still have a gun in my home. I bought it a couple of weeks after I gave the first one to Hal. I don't take it with me to patrols anymore, but I constantly stare at it to reflect on who I am and pray.

Usually, I can assure myself I am someone better.
>>

⠀ · ࣪ ⊹ 𓂃 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 .ᐟ

Artstation - Ethan Brentson

"𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘺𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦."

~~~~~~ --- ~~~~~~

Amara, the Brawler Siren from the Crimson Raiders

💬: Love of my life

💬: You wrote "well. . ." like you were thinking thrice before sending the next message

💬: In person you probably would just say without thinking and try to talk your way out of it, or stutter...

💬: It is really easy, and I love it.

💬: Why MY "maybe" can't mean we will, too?!

"You never make me feel bad, truly. We know each other for so long, doing this Lantern thing together since the beginning. Never let this idea that you'll make me feel bad enter your head, okay?

Be in your head as much as you need, and of course we can have pancakes, J-bird. As many as you want."

💬: It is adorable how easy is to know when you're lying even by messages

💬: I love how honest you are.

💬: I'm free in 20 minutes, just need to finish my commission here.

💬: And 'damn' what?!

💬: You're the one who said 'maybe'!

"You can always call me, Jess. We're new at this lovers thing, but something that comes with it is a duty to help the other to carry the weight over their shoulders.

In your time, one step at a time. I'll give you as much support as you allow me to do, because I love you."

💬: I love you.

💬: A lot. I'll make it clear when we see each other again.

💬: You'll have it soon enough.

💬: Won't say when, though.

💬: But soon. I want to be smothered in kisses.

💬: And maybe more later.

💬: Purple it is, then

💬: So you can remember this moment every time you see it

💬: I also love you, Jess. Just wanted to say it while giving you the necklace, not while buying it.

💬: I'll still do a romantic moment, so you better not let this joke of yours turn it less emotional!

💬: . . .

💬: Fine, chose a second color besides green.

💬: Can be others besides blue and purple.

And I'll be here to listen to everything, to comfort you in every single moment you ever need me... I cannot take this pain from you, but I can help you live through it."

He tightens the hug

"You're one of the strongest person I ever met. I know you'll find peace, so be patient with yourself."

"I am thankful you trust me enough to let me see this side of you, Jessica. Don't be sorry for trusting me, okay?"

A kiss on top of her head

"Mourn them as much as you need. These feelings cannot be ignored, it'll only make it worse... Let yourself feel sad, frustrated and angry.
>>

Feel a lot of emotions, good and bad ones, is normal for us. You know I was dominated by fear before, so much I needed that gun with me all the time..."

He breathes with his mouth and nose near her head so he could work as a natural metronome, helping her control her own breathing.
>>

With her searching comfort with a hug, he brings her head as close as possible with that hand moving to the back of her head. Fingers slowly moving up and down to help her relax a bit. His other arm hugs her, and his face rest over her head. He covers her whole with his body.

"We're humans, Jess.
>

@jessicacruzlantern.bsky.social

💬: Hey, I'm buying that necklace I said to you.

💬: Choose a color between green, blue, or purple.

💬: Don't even ask, I'll not send photos or talk about prices.

➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵
𝓒𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐫 𝓗𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐞.
➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵

“𝘐𝘧 𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦... 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘳𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥... 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦...

𝘐’𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺... 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺.”

Diligent

"I don't know if anything I'm saying is helpful... but you need to remember - no, you need to believe that whatever you're doing is better than doing nothing. Believe that the best thing you can do for your friends, and the worst thing you can do for your enemies, is to thrive besides everything."

your fear, right?"

He holds her hand tighter

"You don't need to forgive those who did it, but you can't be irrational. Your friends would never want you to become a murderer, right? And they would never wish for you to have died with them... "

He stays in silent for a moment, thinking
>>

is something common, expected. The survivors guilt happens, and now you have the power to seek revenge..."

He kisses her forehead and brings her near his chest in a warm hug.

"But part of our journey is the harsh moments of our life when something tries to control us. You found peace with
>>

He pays attention to every world of her, respect for her pain, and the trauma she carries. One of his hands touches her face in an act of affection, now searching for her eyes.

"Every feeling you have is something you shouldn't be ashamed of.Anger towards those who hurt us and those whom we love
>>

At this moment, he's avoiding eye contact, mourning with her.

"We shouldn't feel bad for continuing our lives. We should do our best so those who fall can smile upon us in the afterlife. They can watch us and feel safe knowing we're still here..."

find the right words.

"I think that the ring chose us for more than the heart and willpower needed to surpass the struggles in that point of our life... Part of it is having the mind to live all the bad moments and continue forward, knowing you can still do better for others..."
>>

"Jess..."

He looks concerned with her words. Not with pity, but for understanding that exactly same feeling. He can't say everything will be better, that would be lying to her and to himself.

He holds her hand and brings it near his lips to give a gentle kiss over her fingers, still trying to
>>

He walks with her on his arms, trying to find the couch. He sits with her on his laps, fingers scratching her skin. They still needed to compensate for all the time lost.

As their kiss deepened, his hands moved to hold her ass, a tight grip, while pulling her body close to keep her near him as much as possible.

His heart pounds fast, he just wanted her and nothing more.

Promise? 🥺