Heisenberg
28.02.2026 22:31 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Heisenberg
28.02.2026 22:31 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
This gun's for hire. Even if we're just dancing in the dark
28.02.2026 22:12 — 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 3 📌 0
J Jonna jameson proof reading his newspaper and chomping on a cigar…
Daily mail headline “beware the green menace”
28.02.2026 07:30 — 👍 9 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0*whispers* what if the sound card involved a gangbang
27.02.2026 22:20 — 👍 12 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0I think I know where to start looking for it
27.02.2026 22:19 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Sound off please. For some reason it sounds like I'm next to a jet engine
27.02.2026 21:51 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
A Cyclops action figure firing an optic blast that, on close inspection, is revealed to be a sausage
The Tamashii Nations Instagram reposted this and I felt you all needed to see it
27.02.2026 21:27 — 👍 1409 🔁 441 💬 18 📌 0Have I mentioned recently that I have the best girlfriend? All I got her today was a scotch egg.
27.02.2026 21:44 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0🔥
27.02.2026 14:25 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
matt goodwin tweet from late last night saying: "Matt Goodwin @GoodwinMJ.1d X They said I criticised Manchester This was a lie They said I have no local roots This was a lie They said I committed fraud This was a lie They said I am paid by Russia This was a lie They said I am "racist" This was a lie They said I am "sexist" This was a lie They said my research was dodgy This was a lie"
Caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
Even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
Even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
Saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
"Calcu-lighter"
27.02.2026 11:44 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times, don't post feet for free!
26.02.2026 20:22 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Live, Love, Laugh, Litter
26.02.2026 17:31 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Just getting my coat
26.02.2026 17:30 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Also she told me to hide it
25.02.2026 15:59 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Jess told me to switch the picture. I do as I'm told.
25.02.2026 15:58 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
So apparently there's been a murder.
25.02.2026 15:55 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Thank you! We get that more than you'd think.
25.02.2026 15:14 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Sun's out so we're off to a beer garden.
25.02.2026 15:12 — 👍 22 🔁 0 💬 6 📌 0
God's to-do list for the first six days.
25.02.2026 15:09 — 👍 25 🔁 7 💬 1 📌 0Off to the beer garden!
25.02.2026 13:33 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Thought this was gonna get more than a petty like from my girlfriend TBH
25.02.2026 13:33 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0
Her: Come over
Me: I can't come over, I'm the God Emperor of Mankind
Her: My Parents aren't home
Me:
🎶 do you remember, the very first day of Shrektember?🎶
25.02.2026 09:31 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Hey now
25.02.2026 09:19 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Macro photo of a brown stink bug in face view on a leaf, guarding a tightly-clustered bunch of eggs that are shaped and colored exactly like a full tray of dark beer with foam on top.
Finally, the bug is back with a round of the Guinness.
25.02.2026 01:59 — 👍 8227 🔁 1759 💬 93 📌 90*Ominous soundtrack starts*
25.02.2026 07:50 — 👍 81 🔁 9 💬 7 📌 0🔥
24.02.2026 13:40 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Went to the gym but the fucking app wouldn't let me in so I went and bought a chocolate bar instead.
23.02.2026 20:21 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0