Shinah

Learning without thinking is labour lost

Purgatory maybe i am the problem

It sucks to ache for care in a world that teaches you to swallow your need like its a poison you brewed yourself

"my friends are the weapon fashioned against me"

“ Slow and steady wins the race but it’s a boring race and if you don’t have viewers for the race the race will get cancelled” is a fire line that I did not expect to come out of a crossy road video

I didnt have to spell myself and you knew me. I had to spell myself for and they still do not know me

Every month becomes feel unbearable at thought of you but this month is more because you emailed me

But im cold in your heart and
Youre branded into mine

Do i have to have something bad gojng on so that you can reach out to me Hime? Do you need a reason? Because if thats what youre looking for, i refuse to give it to you.

I borrowed grief from the future

Ah to be loved like that

If you wanted it could still be yours but youre so evasive

Ah im back to writing the ghost letters

Body dismorphia is looming in my head 💀💀 time to go on a diet and gym the fuck out?

Spent time with fatty yesterday and somehow i feel like there wasnt enough time. Why am i so rapacious

i miss vent always and i’ll never stop saying it

Tell me im the fool.

I will check out next year. If we keep going at this pace. I will get to a point of indifference.

Sometimes we dont talk for so long, i forget your face, voice and laughter.

My mind convinces me that i conjured you up

How can i win when im always bound to lose ?

8 sentences.

I received 8 sentences after a year. 8 sentences to last me another 8 months. To miss you less, to hate you less. Its not much but its a lot

I feel as though If i dont get a reply by monday, it would be as good as youre dead to me. I think that ive been rather charitable

I dont know why i go through this every time. He will never need me like i need him. He was very apparent about it.

I learned to be best mates with grief because of you

何もない

I find it hard to breathe. Fuck. I feel like ripping my skin off, hoping ill feel better

maybe i shouldnt have texted him

Everyone is moving along fine. New job, new love, new interest. I just seem to be stuck in a stand still. 8 years and im still here. I wish it was limerance. But its not. If its limerence i can work on it. But hes home

I really love talking to akala