I think if anyone were to ask me to describe milk I’d say being in his presence is like sitting on a field of grass, overlooking the horizon with wind enveloping your body. Refreshing and grounding
Thus, I can only allow a few details about me at a span of time without feeling too uncomfortable else i’ll feel like i’m ripping my skin off with a sandpaper.
Once upon a time people do not care enough to know about it. Now,everything about me feels personal. The small details. Every step feels intimate. Too intimate for my liking.
Maybe you were right. But i dont think its because I’m “secretive” when it comes to you or any of my close friends. Perhaps i am just not fervid to talk about myself.Or maybe i just dont know how to. I learnt how to talk to people in a way i do not have to talk about myself.
As much as youre happy, remember, he didnt remember about the heating in the room. He didnt ask much and he was on the phone when he can
Was the room always this cold?
I just want to be considered
Day 1 off nicotine is a success ✌🏼
The want to see how far i go but the need to be respectful sigh
What am i doing sigh
You ever put a leash on me ill fucking strangle you with it
I wont burn the world to let you see my pain but ill burn your world and your world is more precarious than u think it is. Ill leave you in the dust without knowing why. Not knowing the reason is more painful than people would admit. My boundaries are not to be trifled with.
I can be nice and i can ruthless if you give me the chance. im not a believer of short term pain. Im not a believer of acting crazy. I know that mental pain is so much greater than anything. I will leave without telling you why and you can do is sip on your beer and ponder daily “what happened”
There’s no greater punishment than that.
Should i ask for compensation he’ll paint a villain out of me.It may ease his guilt.He would think the compensation is enough. Honestly,for the disrespect he put me through,no amount of money is worth it.So i’ll let you wait for an email which will never come.Be miserable while you chase my mirage.
I was thinking of compensation for whatever he did. I thought i should ask him out of it and frankly he would have given it yo me. However, the thought of him having good thoughts about me and ruminating “what happened” and chasing my ghost feel like it will be a greater punishment for him
I dont want to be around people who are not considerate of me and my well being. I think im a pretty decent human being. I look out for my friends making them feel heard, safe and loved. I love you a lot if i let you in. I dont expect grand gestures. Either you look out for me or youre out
Him: im tryna figure it out
Me: in the expense of my comfort for your greed
So i am here yucked under my duvet, cloaked in darkness, watching the ghosts of my past tormenting me
There is a lot of shame with wanting. Almost as if the space taken by me should be denied without doubt
No shade but don’t make frivolous comments or ask questions when you dont know anything. If its coming from a place of curiosity sure, wtv. However, if its coming from a place of judgement just stfu. I cba.
I get the whole “dont let your friends take advantage of you” but at the same time isn’t friendship all about inconvenience? If I’m going to be calculative every time when they have been nothing but nice to me, I’m never going to have friends. I get why those people are old and lonely. Fking hell
I dislike when people i’m not close to have this conversation with me. i share with them how i go out of my way for my friends (there wasnt a tinge of me complaining) and their response is always “okay but what do they do for you” like bro stfu? They exist and they are there for me??
“Oh but Shin Ah, why dont you be more efficient “ I CANT😭😭 my whole purpose to go to Japan is to meet my online friends. My trip is based around their schedule (fuck my brain just went “would they do this for you” lets not go this wormhole) thus its messy
Im extremely stressed about my trip to Japan in February because i underestimated the bullet train cost and i will be shuttling from
Ride 1: Tokyo —> Hamamatsu
Ride 2: Hamamatsu —> kyoto
Ride 3: kyoto—> tokyo
Ride 4: tokyo —> hamamatsu
Ride 5: hamamatsu —> tokyo
Because you wouldn’t go out of your way for me. This is all just “fun “ for you.
I miss you so much it hurts
Glad you figured it out ! 😮💨
I think im okay now. You seem so small to me almost like you dont matter. I was trying to write you letter but i didnt want to share anything 何でだろな
Learning without thinking is labour lost
