||Aspen||

Im fine now btw. I need a therapist desperately

Tell others in my life i have to keep it to myself and it hurts i feel like im dying

Feel guilty about it. Feel guilty for thinking about bringing up how something makes me feel, cuz I feel like that would be manipulative but i dont *want* it to be thats not what im trying to *do*! I just want to explain things, but I cant cuz i feel horrible for even feeling like this, i cant-

I haven’t emotionally matured past my teenage years. I’m almost 30 and have the emotional capacity/immaturity of a 16 year old. I’m stuck. I’m trapped. And no one in my life understands that I don’t want to feel like this. And I feel like such a horrible person for feeling things like this and-

I hate how lonely i am

I love the fall but man my Body hates its and always begins to like. Act up? When the weather gets cold :/

My chest hurts when I take a deep breath but it doesn’t feel like a. Breathing pain? Like it doesn’t feel like my lungs i mean.
It almost feels like…maybe I pulled a muscle in my chest, or maybe shoulders or neck? Cuz the pain kinda is there too with taking a deep breath.

Am i getting like, virus sick or is this my liver for some reason 😭 i hate medical anxiety cuz im now paranoid about my liver after finding out something IS going on with it

Ugh I feel. So sick. I started losing my appetite yesterday, but today its really gone. I know i need to eat cuz im shaky and my head hurts, but even the thought of eating or food is making me nauseous

My lower back was killing me and when i laid down flat on the floor, it began spasming. When I popped it- the spasms and pain IMMEDIATELY went away. Its sore but tolerable now

I played it calm and told her hey, if you want me to leave you alone, just say so and I will! Just need some communication. Shes my best friend, at least I think she is? Does she actually not like me? This is too much

Oh. My friend just…confirmed she ignores me on purpose. Which is a big insecurity and fear I have, and have expressed to her many times. She has always reassured me that she never ignores me on purpose, that she just got busy but…she just told me she does now. I am trying not to spiral.

LIKE HIVES BETWEEN MY FINGERS TOO??? HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH???

Why. Am i breaking out in hives. Wtf is going on man?? AND BETWEEN MY FINGERS?? 😭😭😭

Chest: owwie
Back: owwie
Neck: owwie
Stomach: owwie !!!!

White bread, ect. No fast food at all, thats the only one I am eliminating completely. The rest is just gonna have to be limited. Finding out you have a health condition that REQUIRES that you change your diet sure is Great when on food stamps. Especially when you aren’t getting them 🙃

I’m having to cut most sugar out of my diet(medical reasons, not 3d reasons) and its. So hard. I def have a sugar addiction. I’m not cutting it out completely, cuz I know how I am and how it WILL trigger my b!ng3 3d. But I am cutting it WAY down. I also have to cut back on red meat, pasta- 1/2

Trying VERY hard not to throw up every time my heart rate picks up. Which is proving difficult as EVERYTHING is making my heart rate pick up. Even just standing and walking slowly

a white Siberian husky puppy with tan ears sits in a secluded room in a vet's office on a bed made of white towels. his head is down, but he’s looking up with piercing blue eyes and a sinister blep. the markings around his eyes make it look as if his brows are severely furrowed like a super villain. he’s a spooky little guy. we’d recommend donating to his care or he’ll probably curse you for 7 years.

This is Tender. He has parvovirus... and he's NOT thrilled about it. His littermate already passed away, but Tender is showing signs of improvement. You can help us cover the cost of his hospitalization and continued care below ❤️‍🩹

15outof10.org/tender

Ooo i might hop on that today as well

Anyone elses sweat smell horribly like w33d when they are stressed 🧍🏻

I’m thinking maybe like…the pressure and movement during the ultrasound aggravated what is already going on with my liver possibly? Genuinely, idk exactly why. Just that it sucks and hurt :,) gonna bring it up to doc. (2/2)

During my liver ultrasound, when they pressed a certain place on my right side(almost like…right under my ribs kinda?) it hurt quite a bit. I made sure to let them know, and they were very kind and put that in their notes. But since then I am still having pain there when I didn’t before :( (1/2)

I ended up packing my bag into the car and standing by it like 🧍🏻 until she asked if i was ready 😭 like. Yeah. I’ve been ready

I wanna go hoooommmmee but gma just keeps talking to my uncle and cousin 😭😭 i was only supposed to be here while she went and got groceries and shes been back for AN HOUR!!! FREE ME!!!! I

My uncle and cousin are too damn tall lol. Hate being the shortest in my family

I see my doc next fri for something unrelated to the liver ultrasound (rash possibly from weather change) but hoping she doesn’t wait til then to discuss my ultrasound more :/ like I’m sure we will discuss it more then, I’m just hoping they also call me before that y’know?

💚

Got some not-great results on my liver ultrasound so may be quieter here for a bit while we figure out what to do/how to proceed.

1st pic: Oct 28th 2022
2nd pic: Oct 28th 2025