Presley Pizzo

Procrastination Workshop Survey I'm brainstorming what free workshops to offer in 2026, and I could use your input!

Calling all ADHDers and perfectionists! I'm planning free anti-procrastination workshops for next year and I want to hear what the people want. Answer this quick anonymous survey to let me know!

You won't stop procrastinating when you have more time.

You won't stop procrastinating after you get that credential.

You won't stop procrastinating when you have a better planner.

You will stop procrastinating when you believe, in your gut, that you are good enough even if you fail.

HerHive Pod: Authentic Confidence -The Healthy Way Out of Imposter Syndrome · Zoom · Luma Do you have trouble believing compliments about your work? Shy away from applying to promotions? Avoid sharing your boldest ideas or taking the most impactful…

Register here: luma.com/2cr932v7?tk=...

Want to develop the rejection-tolerance of a cockroach so you can make it in this cruel world? Come to my free workshop, Authentic Confidence: The Healthy Way Out of Imposter Syndrome.

Maybe just be human (or crow) today.

Do you have a hard time following the "break it down into smaller tasks" advice?

HerHive Pod: Authentic Confidence -The Healthy Way Out of Imposter Syndrome · Zoom · Luma Do you have trouble believing compliments about your work? Shy away from applying to promotions? Avoid sharing your boldest ideas or taking the most impactful…

Do you want to feel confident at work, but not by faking it? Come to my free online workshop, Authentic Confidence: The Healthy Way Out of Imposter Syndrome.

People who work in STEM: do you find that people have uncomfortably high expectations of you, as if only a magical genius could work in your field?

Types of Imposter Syndrome - Parts with Presley Do you have Imposter Syndrome? Learn about the different types of Imposter Syndrome and what you can do about each one.

Do you ever wonder if you have Imposter Syndrome? Check out the different types of Imposter Syndrome (and not Imposter Syndrome) here:

How to Spot Gaslighting Therapists and Coaches - Parts with Presley Learn about three ways coaches and therapists have been known to gaslight their clients, and how to find a provider who validates you.

Sometimes people take the term "gaslighting" too far, but when it comes to a therapist or coach telling you what your mind is doing, it can be scarily accurate!

Here's my rundown of what to look for in a therapist or coach to avoid gaslighting tendencies.

The work gets easier when it's not about proving who you are. Instead of working to make yourself good enough, reverse it: realize you're good enough, then accomplish stuff for the fun of it.

Don't forget to have fun at work! (And happy Wednesday, my dudes.)

The 7 Myths of Perfectionism and How They're Holding You Back - Parts with Presley Do you feel overwhelmed when thinking about starting a big project? Do you finish a project, feel proud for .2 seconds, and then feel horribly embarrassed and hide it from everyone? Or maybe you have trouble sticking with things that you’re not good at right away? These are all signs of perfectionism! And they’re holdingRead More

I've found seven perfectionistic beliefs that, instead of pushing people to do better, actually hold them back from performing as well as possible. See if any of them are showing up in your life:

Overachievers on the cusp of burnout, repeat after Mariah Carey (when asked if she would go into space like Katy Perry): "I think I've done enough."

Organizing with Empathy is having me on for a super-short presentation on overcoming procrastination before we dive into their digital decluttering session on Monday! If, like me, you keep getting notifications about how your cloud storage is filling up, come join us!

Love this illustration by https://www.facebook.com/titsay.art. What can you take your time on today?

Can you do anything except the thing you're supposed to do? Find out what drives your procrastination with my free quiz: https://partswithpresley.com/quiz/

Being hard on yourself doesn't make you buckle down and get more done. It just makes you feel guiltier while you procrastinate. To change your habits, you have to get out of the entire cycle of guilty procrastination and panicky crunch time.

Vagueness is the culprit behind a lot of procrastination! Challenge yourself to be concrete and specific about what you have to do and it might get a lot less scary.

Feeling haunted by your half-finished projects? Find out what drives your procrastination and what you can do about it with my free quiz: https://partswithpresley.com/quiz/

👥 Combatting Procrastination w/ Presley Pizzo: Just Rest Convo Coach Presley Pizzo will help you reduce fear and anxiety around tasks and projects so that you can stop procrastinating! Learn more about why you procrastinate and how you can stop doing it during th...

Register here: www.addevent.com/event/lL2517...

Do you want to get more done but without sacrificing your health and wellbeing? Join anti-burnout coach Nicole Havelka and me for a Just Rest Convo on how the right approach to overcoming procrastination can help you get more rest, not run yourself ragged.

Distinctions for Inner and Outer Conflict Resolution # Distinctions for Inner and Outer Conflict Resolution I’ve been thinking a lot about conflict resolution lately, so I interrupt your usual productivity content for some short and sweet reminders for when your head is spinning or your relationship is fraying. ## Distinctions Stop the Domino Effect There are concepts that sometimes feel very connected but are actually distinct. When they’re not distinguished from each other, they act like dominoes. When one domino falls, all the other dominoes fall, too. It can look like “I’m hurt, therefore you must have wronged me, therefore you’re a bad person, therefore you must be punished.” The result is escalation of conflict.1 In inner conflict, a worried thought can escalate into panic and overwhelm. In outer conflict, a hurt feeling can escalate into a broken relationship and a fractured community. Distinctions put space in between our dominoes so that our conflicts don’t get escalated for no reason. ## Feeling ≠ Thought ≠ Behavior **Feelings** are not right or wrong. They simply are. **Thoughts** can be accurate or inaccurate. **Behaviors** can be helpful, harmful, or neutral. This makes it safer to feel your feelings, because feelings do not require you to believe associated thoughts or engage in associated behaviors. ## Listening ≠ Obeying, Understanding ≠ Condoning **Internally:** you can listen to the angry part of yourself without lashing out. You can listen to the helpless part of yourself without giving up. **Externally:** you can listen to someone you’re angry at without doing what they say or giving up your own perspective. You can ask someone to validate your feelings without asking them to agree with your thoughts. This makes it safe to listen and seek understanding2, because you can do so without giving anything up or signing any contracts. ## Perspectives ≠ The Whole Truth The world is too complex for us to understand. Even our own minds and bodies are too complex for us to understand. So our understandings are always partial and simplified. That means two perspectives can both have a piece of the truth. **Internally:** you can feel both angry and guilty at the same time. Realizing that you don’t have to pick – both can be true – brings relief. **Externally:** you can see the kernel of truth in someone else’s perspective without giving up your own perspective. You can ask what’s distorted about your perspective without giving up what’s true about your perspective. ## What You Do ≠ Who You Are To do wrong is not to be a bad, unloveable person. To be a good, loveable person is not to be a person who never does wrong. You are a good, loveable person. As such, you deserve compassion. You do wrong sometimes. When you do, you are called to do right: to stop the harm, to apologize, to offer amends, and to work on the root cause of your wrongdoing so that you can avoid relapse.3 This applies internally, too: your troublemaking parts actually mean well. Even your inner critic doesn’t actually hate you. ## Holding Accountable ≠ Shaming and Punishing To stop wrongdoing long-term, people have to take a hard look at themselves and change the root cause of the wrongdoing, deep inside themselves. Deep change requires feeling safe. Feeling shame is the opposite of feeling safe. Though consequences are sometimes needed to motivate certain people to begin the accountability process, compassion aids the accountability process. ## Compassion ≠ Enabling Wrongdoing is obviously bad for the person wronged, but it is also bad for the wrongdoer. It does not bring true happiness. It usually signals an unhealed wound that stands in the way of true happiness. And it often brings harmful consequences. Allowing people to continue doing wrong is not compassionate. Supporting someone through the difficult process of change is compassionate. ## Pain ≠ Wrongdoing Being in pain does not necessarily mean you did something wrong. Being in pain does not necessarily mean someone wronged you. Pain deserves compassion. You don’t have to have someone to blame to deserve compassion.4 You don’t have to be blameless to deserve compassion.5 ## Needs ≠ Strategies **Internally:** Parts of you cause you trouble when they have ineffective, even counterproductive strategies for meeting your legitimate needs.6 **Externally:** People’s true needs are generally compatible with each other. But their strategies for meeting their needs can be incompatible.7 Domination and exploitation are not true needs. Whenever someone seeks to dominate or exploit, look for the true need hiding behind that strategy. ## Safety ≠ Safeness Safety describes how safe you are objectively. Safeness describes how safe you feel. You can have less safeness than safety, especially when you carry unprocessed trauma.8 When you feel unsafe, there may be an external danger, an internal wound, or both. ## Projecting ≠ Overreacting Sometimes we have a big emotional reaction to a small slight because it activates feelings from the past. When this happens, you’re not overreacting; you’re reacting the right amount but to the wrong thing. Your feelings are valid, but some of them are about the past. Punishing the person that reminded you of them will not heal them. ## Revenge ≠ Closure, Justice, Peace Revenge is not a need, but a strategy for meeting needs. Yet, it does not necessarily meet those needs. It does not undo what was done. It does not guarantee that the wrongdoer understands or regrets their wrong. It does not end grief.9 ## Boundaries ≠ Punishment Your boundaries are an expression of your autonomy and self-care. They’re for you, not for changing or hurting other people. You can enforce boundaries with someone while having compassion for them. ## Questions to Help You Make Distinctions What are your thoughts on this conflict? What are your feelings around this conflict? What thoughts and feelings are you trying _not_ to think or feel? Have you felt this way before? How much of this feeling is about the past? How can this conflict help you see places in yourself that deserve healing? What strategies and behaviors are you using? What needs are those strategies trying to meet? What are other ways of meeting those needs? 1. Conflict Is Not Abuse by Sarah Schulman describes how the escalation of interpersonal conflict can have terrible outcomes. ↩︎ 2. Imago Dialogue is a good format for listening to understand during conflict resolution. ↩︎ 3. See the Staircase of Accountability from the Creative Interventions Toolkit. ↩︎ 4. A major theme of Conflict Is Not Abuse is that people conflate conflict and abuse when they believe they are only eligible for compassion if they are abused. ↩︎ 5. Buddhism teaches compassion for all living beings. ↩︎ 6. This is a principle of Internal Family Systems. ↩︎ 7. This is a principle of Non-Violent Communication. Check out their list of basic human needs. ↩︎ 8. I believe it was Linda Thai who taught me this definition of safety and safeness. ↩︎ 9. Gollwitzer, Meder, and Schmitt (2010), described by Eric Jaffe, found that revenge only felt better than no revenge if the recipient demonstrated understanding of their bad behavior. Sociologist Nancy Berns says that a death sentence may bring closure to a trial but it does not bring closure to grief. ↩︎ ### Share this: * Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Threads (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Mastodon (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Bluesky (Opens in new window) * ### _Related Posts_

Absolute banger of a post by @presleypizzo.bsky.social:

Distinctions for Inner and Outer Conflict Resolution

https://partswithpresley.com/2025/04/26/distinctions-for-inner-and-outer-conflict-resolution/

My favorite excerpts in a thread:

Lol my eyes went straight to the image so I didn't have your context and I was like wow a nerd had a LOT of coffee today. Anyway I'm off to read your theory now

Market Research: Overworking Are you a workaholic, perfectionist, Type A, or on the road to burnout? Fill out this form to help me understand the needs of people in your position!

Are you stressed about your work? Maybe you consider yourself a perfectionist, or Type A?

I'd love to hear what it's like for you! I'm similar, but I'm just one person, so hearing a wide variety of experiences really helps me help people better. Short survey here

What does Imposter Syndrome mean to you? I find that there are a few different ways people understand it.

An Engineer Finds True Confidence - Parts with Presley Sometimes I talk about “true confidence” and how it can help people face intimidating tasks and get more done, without having to “fake it till you make it.” But it might be hard to imagine how people find this confidence and what it feels like. So I’ll share a story of a session I hadRead More

He just needed to know where to look.

What if you didn't have to fake it till you make it? 

Meet Andy, an engineer who learned how to uncover true confidence during one of our coaching sessions. He didn't have to act more confident than he felt, talk himself into confidence, or construct confidence. 1/2

Do you procrastinate more on stuff that's so easy it's boring, or stuff that's so hard it's intimidating? Or something else?