Guy #7

they should make salty gum

when a game’s name filter is so dogass you cant even be mad, just confused

just caught some rouge trying to steal shit from my smithy but right before i could confront him some old guy said “silvery barbs” under his breath (whatever the hell that means) and when i looked back the bastard was gone! #pissedoff

picked up a new artifact, and guess what? its talking

watching azumanga daioh clips while playing balatro and hearing a soundbite used in a shitty breakcore song i listened to like three years ago got me feeling like light yagami in the helicopter touching the death note

my neighbor did that last week, the hoa has a very clear policy of “no lycanthropes whatsoever” and yet middle of the night on the full moon what do i hear from next door but a howl

you gotta me kidding me right now. some group of adventurers is passing through town and one of them decided to flirt with the town priest even though he worships the god of chastity and he got fucking obliterated on the spot. im so sick of these assholes man

ngl the old wizard in the tower over yonder is really starting to piss me off. like i get he casted circle of protection around the village which is cool but this is the third night in a row hes woken me up by casting Light of 1000 Suns or some shit. like live your life but maybe put up a shadecover

picked up another cursed artifact today, and surprise surprise, this one’s a “whispering unspeakable horrors to me in my sleep” kind too. i get that these things are made by centuries-old liches so i dont really get a say in the process, but is a little creativity in your curses really that hard?

position 385. crazy blowjob

asking my gf to peel an orange for me then only eating the rind