they’re gonna tell me i have every disease but its not terminal, i just have to suffer forever
they’re stealing my blood on saturday
i really am dreading going to the doctor i hope i can at least get my fucking benzos back. they randomly removed them from my Rx’s a year ago for no reason???? i rarely ever need them but when i do i NEED them
why terminator tho
yeah there are so many better options out there!
LOL. most ranch is so disgusting. a good ranch can be quite nice but it’s almost exclusively bad.
hahahaha incredible concept
i took ass pics last night. it’s still good fyi.
sarah
it feels extremely stupid to both have health related OCD and an extreme ptsd-inflected fear of doctors. Like oh noooo i think im dying AND i refuse to go the hospital unless forced. incredible job @ my brain.
im getting bloodwork done on saturday morning and im nervous (not bc of needles but rather bc im scared of doctors and have OCD)
while i don’t get judgmental of kinks in a moral way, sometimes i see stuff that really is the equivalent of going to paris and only eating mcdonalds
big missing my grandmas hours today
Nothing better than the sound of creaking leather and stifled moans.
so exhausted from pain that my coworkers were like “you sound bad are you coming down with something?” and that was the push i needed to clock out
pain killer, edible, heating pad, and a nap, save me
having a “maybe i actually have endometriosis” moment today. I have all the symptoms, tho I’m sure there’s a lot of overlap between it and both PCOS and IBS, which are both things I’m diagnosed with.
in my mind healthcare is just the place where people sexually assault and otherwise abuse and neglect you. i worry i cant change that perception because it keeps getting proven true!
i dont know know how to stop being fearful and mistrusting of doctors
i started making a list of things to talk to my doctor about later this month but now i think i should just [redacted]
stockings drive me fully insane (sexually) 🥵
but also i probably cant, and with my mental health issues and extreme fear of doctors it is probably not a good idea.
anyway i wish my body worked
my periods have always been fucked (my first ever, when i was 12, lasted 10 weeks), and it causes me so much distress. My medications worked for years and now they don’t and I think maybe I should just ask abt getting a partial hysto. Which sucks bc idk maybe i want to get pregnant someday
i have a checkup with a new doctor on the 18th and i have been avoiding it for like a long time out of Fear but i gotta so i can keep my Rx’s. I’m already medicated to keep my periods regular but despite this they are suddenly fucked up again so idk what’s gonna happen. Scared!
could i please stop bleeding 😫 my lower back is in a perpetual spasm from cramps and it fucking sucks
ironically i feel great, just a little emotional
been weirdly weepy today, everything is making me tear up
絵です。
