Stanley H. Tweedle

*searching for Mantrid drones*
STAN: I'm gonna check out the bridge now.
XEV: How unusually brave of you.
STAN: Not brave, Xev. Try worried.
XEV: Don't be a hero.
STAN: That, you can count on!

Stanley H. Tweedle is a brave man, y'know, more or less, depending on the circumstances.

I can be funny, really, I can! Did I ever tell you about the time that I accidentally sent an entire Merit family to a Prisoner Docking Bay on the Cluster? Hoho boy, did I get Demerit points!

Xev, we are an advanced species. We're supposed to learn from our experiences, and improve our decision making accordingly. So it's simple - we don't land here.

This is 790, he's a semi-intelligent robot head with the emphasis on 'semi.'

PA: Sweetie, I think he's a little old for you, but when he had his shirt off he had a creamy shoulder, which is OK!
STAN: 🤨

Slinka: Dr. Stanley Tweedle, did you tell your wife about us? About the times we ravaged each other in the bathroom at the embassy? Or when we made violent, torrid love while HIDING IN THE SEWERS?

Xev will never, ever, never, ever, ever learn. Never! Ever! She goes off, somebody comes along, tries to eat me...

*Goons threaten Xev*
Lexx, hard left now!
*goons fall over, Xev kicks them*
That's it, Xev! ❤️

BOT: I must now file a report stating -
STAN: That your planet is a pimple, it's a blemish among planets, so on behalf of the Commission, bye bye!

Hey, I want you to know that former Assistant Deputy Backup Courier, and now Captain of the Lexx, Stanley H. Tweedle, just saved humanity!

STAN: You know, I wouldn't have frozen up if I had my hat, I mean, didn't you ever freeze up when you were alive?
KAI: No.

Ha! Two Stanley Knights on the move!🐴

This is strange... I was just dreaming about you, and now here you are. But that was such a long time ago!

Two things.

One, I wonder if anybody except me has given any thought to the fact that the universe is just disappearing?

Second thing, I CAN'T FIND MY HAT.

*Prince's goons capture Stan*
PRINCE: Who are you?
STAN: Stanley!
PRINCE: What are you?
STAN: I'm, I'm a Tweedle! Er, I'm a captain.

Y'know, I've been living with it for all these years. Stanley Tweedle, Arch Traitor. Murderer. Coward, you name it. Felt kinda good to own up.

*sees two Kais* Kai? Kai?! Am I dreaming this, or is this for real?

Stan: Why is it that I do all the pumpin' and you do all the standin' around?
Kai: I will pump if you request, but then I will not be able to stop darts.
Stan: Oh, that's okay, I like to pump.

So uh, what's so great about Potatohoe anyway?
They got a lot of potatoes there?
Or is it just shaped like a potato?
Or does it just smell like a potato?

Show me that planet. I'm gonna turn it into granite.

PA: What's he, frozen supper meat?
STAN: No no, he's not meat, he's alive. Well actually he's not alive, technically he's dead...
PA: Right, what's he, frozen fast asleep?
STAN: Uh, yeah, if ya like...

Ladies of the universe, I am Stan, your man, Tweedle. I am a superior example of the male human species, the guy who knows how to provide, shall we say, the ultimate in sexual ecstasy!
@790Poetry

LEXX: 790 asked me to say, what is this piece of brain tissue that is connected to his casing?
STAN: Lexx, you can tell @790Poetry that that teensy, weensy, unimportant, insignificant, PARTICLE of brain tissue is actually his, and he's had it all along, and he didn't know it.

STAN: Kai might've been destroyed with Water, so you were right to stop me.
XEV: I didn't know you still cared about Kai.
STAN: Oh yeah, I care about the dead man. Not as much as you, but he's nice to have around.

LEXX, keep listening for any incoming signals. I want to hear anything, I mean ANYTHING, that may sound intelligent.
@790Poetry

XEV: Stan, it's only a hat.
STAN: No, it's not just a hat! I've been wearing this uniform and that hat every day for the past 9 and a half years!

DEAD THING PIE!

I think Jihana deserves, I mean without a doubt, if ANYONE, being a Grand Prosecutor, she really, especially, deserves to get... ah, I don't know. Let's just go back to the LEXX.

LEXX: 790 asked me to say, what is this piece of brain tissue that is connected to his casing?
STAN: Lexx, you can tell @790Poetry that that teensy, weensy, unimportant, insignificant, PARTICLE of brain tissue is actually his, and he's had it all along, and he didn't know it.