Dan Shive

Listen up, belly up fans! According to Merriam Webster, belly up’s first known usage—in the context of moving closer to something—was in 1880! Wowzers! ☝️🧐

My 6000 word formal request for the definition to specify “move towards a place of food or drink” is not yet complete, but we’ll get ‘em yet! 🍻

a group of simpsons characters sitting on the floor with the caption when are they going to get to the fireworks factory? ALT: a group of simpsons characters sitting on the floor with the caption when are they going to get to the fireworks factory?

“When are they going to get to the Malaya factory?!”

When we started caring what Milhouse thinks.

When? I'll tell you when. When he became a symbol.

A symbol for wanting to know when they were getting to the fireworks factory.

That brave little boy took a stand and said what everyone else was too scared to say, and he didn't care who saw him cry.

THAT'S when we cared what Milhouse thinks.

I care about Marvel Rivals! The fun character models and costumes, not the game.

They truly are Overwatch's successor.

I am now considering the possibility that Jay Leno and John Kerry are the the same person with the head press applied either vertically or horizontally.

You eat food? - www.egscomics.com/comic/falsek...

Which is usually a rude thing to ask, but once magical beings who've essentially existed as ghostly beings get involved, it becomes a fair question.
#egscomics #webcomics

Chaos theory sure is interesting! Small factors having knock-on effects, ha ha ha. I wonder if that's relevant to anything we currently have, and this is how AI goes even more wrong isn't it

I wonder if the first Jurassic Park book would have trouble getting published today.

Revisiting the audiobook (read LONG ago), I adore the amount of buildup there is before they reach the island.

I can, however, imagine Milhouse reading it, and wondering when they'll get to the dinosaur factory.

I'm reading out loud more of what I write these days to test whether my overly-long sentences can pass the "I can comfortably say this" test.

Sometimes, failure is irrelevant, but that's usually because the necessary words involved are naturally difficult.

*Usually*, failure means editing.

I'm using the Merriam Websters app (which I caved and used actual dollars on when I learned it worked offline), and the thesaurus lists Synonyms, Related Words, Near Antonyms, and Antonyms.

So they COULD have put belly op under Related Words—where "sneak up" is hiding—but no. Synonym. Weird.

Belly up Examples: Consistently about going to where food or drink is.

Belly up Definition: To move close or next to. No, not to anything specific. Food or drink related only? Pish-posh. Options are open for belly up! Belly up to where you please!

I GUESS IT'S A SYNONYM

"Synonym: One of two or more words or expressions of the same language that have the same or nearly the same meaning in some or all senses."

Belly up feels really specific, yet nothing in the definition itself suggests you shouldn't use it in my joke examples. Only the examples do that.

The aircraft was on final belly up when the incident occured.

“I bootied back from them” for moving away, no doubt.

I need to abandon this train wreck of thought before the ruins catch fire.

“I bellied up to the witness stand.”

“I bellied up to the haunted mansion.”

“I bellied up to him as tension filled the air.”

I guarantee someone with a thing for big bellies has used belly up like this.

I want synonyms for “approach”! (Loads up Websters. First synonym for “to come near or nearer”): Belly up.

…I BEG EVERY PARDON???

Definition “to move close or next to”, example: “belly up to the buffet table and help yourselves”

…Okay, GRANTED, but this feels EXTREMELY specific!

I also don’t think it was criticizing the “women: what are they thinking?” talk. It was too the style at the time, essentially white noise you expected to hear. Maybe I’m wrong and the writers thought Jerry should’ve just had a mature conversation with her, but I’m not convinced of that.

Meanwhile, by that point George is arguing that she definitely wants to sleep with him, and the futon is a waste of time. Kramer is confused, asking “why even give her the option?” (ye gods, Kramer)

Jerry is playing reasonable straight man to these two. I don’t think the pilot was criticizing him.

Jerry is the nice guy trying to figure out what this woman from out of town wants. She is going to be a guest in his home, and he’s putting out a futon for her. He defends this radical choice of providing a woman somewhere to sleep *other than his bed* by saying she’s someone he genuinely likes.

Even if the writers didn’t want them to be great people as early as the pilot (at a minimum, Larry David didn’t), by the standards of the time, this “women are confusing” bit doesn’t lean into that with Jerry.

It does that with Kramer (Kessler at the time) and George.

By sitcom standards of the time, 1989, neither George nor Jerry were saying anything unusual. Whether writers knew it was nonsense likely varied. Whether *the audience* knew it was nonsense, even moreso.

I’m not giving Seinfeld writers “we also thought he should communicate“ benefit of the doubt 😅

It’s not really them I’m reacting to. It’s the pervasive attitudes that exist even in real life.

Plus the ”they’re terrible people” was a development they leaned into later. This is the pilot. Kramer isn’t even named Kramer yet 😅 Jerry in this script had the attitude of an average sitcom man.

In part because the vibe I get from it is a but too sincere.

Also, I’ve been burned by assuming people knew their characters were in the wrong before 😬

I think it became that. I don’t think that was intended in the pilot.

In other words, screw it, I’m hyped. There’s a subtextual arc I didn’t even know about in this thing, and *everyone’s* getting burned by it.

If some bits have minimal prose thanks to banter, so be it. Knowing when not to prose is part of the exercise.

I said I was going to be unkind to Kramer when adding my own spin to the Seinfeld pilot via prose, but I keep thinking of brutal narrative observations about Jerry, and the genuine arc of the pilot in my mind is becoming an exploration of how toxic and selfish he is while being oblivious to it.

The nineties didn’t age well.

“It’s almost as if women are careful about what they say to men for some weird reason. Anyway, I’m very much hoping I’ll get to sleep with this woman who’s going to be staying in my apartment.”

“Which you haven’t discussed with her, of course.”

“Of course, but there’s a futon. It’s fine.”

ExT. AIRPORT TERMINAL-NIGHT-(STOCK) INT. AIRPORT-GATE FORTY-THREE—NIGHT (NIGHT 2) Jerry and George are sitting on a bench, watching people go by. JERRY Wouldn't it be great if you could ask a woman what she's thinking? GEORGE What a world that would be. If you could ask a woman what she's thinking. JERRY You know, instead, I'm like a detective, I've got to pick up clues, the whole thing is like a murder investigation.

I have FANTASTIC news for you, Jerry and George! You DO live in that world!

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