Middle Age Riot

PHOTO: Donald Trump reacts to Benjamin Netanyahu's refusal to use his space lasers to blast Portland.

Fascism is what happens when you're making other plans.

Schools were not forcing kids to have transgender surgery.

Babies were not being aborted after they were born.

Migrants were not crossing the border to vote for Kamala Harris.

Donald Trump is a pathological liar and, if you believed this shit, you are a pathological dumbass.

Nothing excites Republicans quite like the exhilarating combination of racism and cruelty.

If Donald Trump wants a prize for peace he should go the fuck away and give us some peace.

Hitler never did his own dirty work either.

SHOWN: If the speech at the beginning of Patton were given by Biff from Back to the Future.

It's the Trump Senate.

It's the Trump House.

It's the Trump shutdown.

BELOW: House Speaker Mike Johnson displays a level of joyous exuberance that Republicans only experience when voting to take healthcare away from old people.

PHOTO: US military generals listening to Pete Hegseth and fantasizing about what they'd do if they could get him on an obstacle course.

Donald Trump's "peace" plan:

1. Trump orders Hamas to surrender and return all hostages.

2. Netanyahu continues his genocide after the terrorists who were never going to surrender don't surrender.

3. Trump demands a Nobel Peace Prize so people forget he's in the Epstein files.

It's too bad the Trump shutdown won't include his mouth.

Republicans are in charge of the Senate.

Republicans are in charge of the House.

Republicans are in charge of the Executive Branch.

If the government shuts down and you honestly think Democrats are to blame, you're the reason shampoo bottles have instructions.

DID YOU KNOW? The Secret Service code for Donald Trump choking on a Big Mac is "I'm Lovin' It."

Refusing to release the Epstein files because they incriminate Donald Trump is exactly what a Deep State would do.

Some people think it's wrong to speak ill of the dead, so while he's still alive, let's all agree that Donald Trump is shit wrapped in skin.

Republicans: "Donald Trump is the healthiest president in history."

Also Republicans: "We demand a criminal investigation into who made Donald Trump walk up a flight of stairs."

Donald Trump falsely claimed that Hepatitis B can only be transmitted through sexual activity and, as a result, children don't need to be vaccinated against it until they're 12 years old.

Speaking of sexual activity and 12-year-olds, Donald Trump is in the Epstein files.

If you take medical advice from these guys, the species will be stronger without you.

Today's Republican Party is almost completely defined by how far they'll go to protect a pedophile.

THE PEOPLE TELLING PREGNANT WOMEN NOT TO TAKE TYLENOL

Donald Trump: prescription drug addict.

Pete Hegseth: alcoholic.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.: heroin addict.

JD Vance: just fucking weird.

SHOWN: The top 6 reasons why you can't trust the Supreme Court.

If "never leave your drink unattended" were a person.

BELOW: When you make the village idiot the town doctor.

Forced to improvise due to a failed United Nations teleprompter, Donald Trump opened his drool-spattered lie hole and sent Doritos-scented approximations of human speech flying like shrapnel from a shit grenade.

The concept of the Rapture is fundamentally flawed because an Earth without religious nuts would be Heaven.

EMERGENCY HEALTH ALERT FROM THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE

Reading the Epstein files causes autism.

"Tylenol bad." - Robert F. Kennedy Jr., heroin pig

Before his speech at Charlie Kirk's memorial, Donald Trump was in the Epstein files.

During his speech at Charlie Kirk's memorial, Donald Trump was in the Epstein files.

After his speech at Charlie Kirk's memorial, Donald Trump was in the Epstein files.

Instead of a moment of silence for Charlie Kirk, I will be observing a lifetime of speaking out against bigotry and fascism.