@middleageriot.bsky.social
Jokes by John Hartzell. He/him.
There was a time in American history when traitors would have something other than phony medals placed around their necks.
06.12.2025 01:01 — 👍 396 🔁 84 💬 45 📌 8
Checks and balances have been replaced with ass-kissing and ball-gargling.
05.12.2025 21:08 — 👍 925 🔁 264 💬 65 📌 27Jobs = down.
Prices = up.
Wages = flat.
Trump = asleep.
Matt Gaetz: rapist, sex trafficker, illegal drug user, drunk driver, White House approved Pentagon reporter.
03.12.2025 16:47 — 👍 327 🔁 110 💬 38 📌 10
Wake up, asshole. If I don't get to sleep through your presidency, you don't.
02.12.2025 18:43 — 👍 1285 🔁 284 💬 63 📌 22
BREAKING: The White House IT department has installed an app on Donald Trump's phone that allows him to pardon notorious drug traffickers with a single click.
01.12.2025 16:52 — 👍 260 🔁 54 💬 16 📌 6
To say Donald Trump is in cognitive decline is to suggest he had a cognitive in the first place.
30.11.2025 20:02 — 👍 273 🔁 47 💬 4 📌 6
When traveling this holiday season, please remember that Donald Trump raped children.
29.11.2025 16:50 — 👍 283 🔁 63 💬 3 📌 3
"Tim Walz am retarded."
28.11.2025 23:48 — 👍 149 🔁 14 💬 21 📌 1
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone whose joy isn't heightened by the misery of others.
27.11.2025 15:22 — 👍 597 🔁 113 💬 13 📌 6
It's not the constantly falling asleep that I mind, it's the constantly waking up.
26.11.2025 23:58 — 👍 549 🔁 126 💬 41 📌 12
LEFT: Mark Kelly, shirt covered with medals.
RIGHT: Pete Hegseth, shirt covered with booze.
PHOTO: Donald Trump welcomes Zohran Mamdani to the White House.
22.11.2025 16:06 — 👍 334 🔁 59 💬 13 📌 4
A wild animal is at its most dangerous when it is cornered. That goes double when the animal is also stupid.
21.11.2025 15:15 — 👍 312 🔁 85 💬 15 📌 2
DEAR MAGA SHITHEADS: These are Arabic numerals.
20.11.2025 22:31 — 👍 291 🔁 53 💬 13 📌 4
"How dare you accuse this murderer of murdering someone he murdered."
19.11.2025 15:55 — 👍 2036 🔁 567 💬 90 📌 26
"Did I ever thank you for making my building the tallest in New York City?"
18.11.2025 21:43 — 👍 687 🔁 197 💬 27 📌 14
"Bone saws are fine in a pinch, my crown prince, but imagine how many journalists you could kill with an F-35 fighter jet."
18.11.2025 15:45 — 👍 279 🔁 81 💬 14 📌 5
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Find someone who will defend you with the same ferocity that Megyn Kelly defends pedophiles.
17.11.2025 16:11 — 👍 254 🔁 63 💬 22 📌 3FDR: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
JFK: "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country."
DJT: "I did not blow Bill Clinton."
MAGA: "Libtards post the same 50-plus photos of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein together like it's some kind of proof they knew each other."
16.11.2025 14:35 — 👍 208 🔁 36 💬 8 📌 1
"Not a child rapist" should be the bare minimum requirement for the president of the United States.
Should be.
"Don't release the files that exonerate me." - no innocent person ever
14.11.2025 22:32 — 👍 524 🔁 136 💬 4 📌 4If the Epstein files prove that Bill Clinton raped children, he should go to jail.
See how easy that was, Republicans?
BELOW: Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein just hoaxing around.
12.11.2025 22:59 — 👍 447 🔁 145 💬 13 📌 4
Today's Republican Party is almost completely defined by how far they'll go to protect a pedophile.
12.11.2025 20:19 — 👍 257 🔁 85 💬 16 📌 2
White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt has accused Democrats of "selectively" leaking to the "liberal media" only emails that "prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Donald Trump is a fucking child rapist."
12.11.2025 18:42 — 👍 204 🔁 58 💬 18 📌 5RULE OF THUMB: Five-time draft dodgers should shut the fuck up on Veterans Day.
11.11.2025 21:16 — 👍 468 🔁 126 💬 9 📌 13This Veterans Day it is important to remember that Donald Trump is doing everything in his power to keep veterans from receiving their SNAP food benefits.
11.11.2025 15:10 — 👍 304 🔁 116 💬 6 📌 4
"I promise there will be a vote in December to extend healthcare subsidies. I mean it this time."
10.11.2025 14:38 — 👍 416 🔁 147 💬 22 📌 14
